In any given moment you always have a choice.

A choice of how you choose to behave, to think, to react, what words to use or what next step to take.

Sometime it doesn't feel that way. Life can feel stuck, like there are no options. That is also just a choice, to see it in that way. There are always options.

Even in the darkest moment there is a choice of how you choose to take care of yourself, to be loving to yourself. You can choose to look for what the situation is teaching you, what lesson there is to learn.

Or of course you can choose to allow the darkness to take you down, to give into it, to wallow in negativity.

You choose every day how to spend your time, is it on activities that nourish you? That you enjoy? That give you what you need to feel good?

Or do you choose to block life out with forms of escapism like drinking to excess, drugs etc Activities that might feel fun at the time but bring you crashing down after.

You have the power within you to create your life, to choose how you feel, to choose your thoughts in any given moment.

To begin with it's a case of being aware of what you are saying to yourself. Noticing when you start to put yourself down, think negatively or behave in a damaging way to yourself and others.

Then ask yourself questions like:

• What would be more loving to myself, and others.
• How can I positively contribute to myself and others?
• What could I do to make a difference?
• How can I nourish myself for my highest good?

What if just for today you choose to feel good and to make others feel good to? If that was your only purpose for today?

 

How often do you find yourself putting something off? Saying "I am too busy".

"There is not enough time".

How ever if someone you really love (or would love to) to spend time with called you up and said they had booked you both to fly to The Caribbean this evening for a surprise holiday, I bet you'd find the time!

When you really want something, you make time.

So why do we sometimes still get caught in the time trap even when there are things we really would like to do. Maybe it's that we just don't prioritise enough to make time for our goals.

If not careful days can fly by into weeks, months and before we know it a year has gone by and we still have not learnt to hula hoop "insert what ever your dream is"!

If there is something you really want to achieve, scheduling it in your diary helps you to say no to the things that are not as important to you. For example if you want to start doing yoga then write the class you want to go to in your planner every week, that way if something else less important comes up it's easier to say no to.

Maybe it's going on a trip abroad, you could schedule in how much you will save each week, ideas of things you could do to find the money each week, time for planning it, time for researching flights and time for booking.

Of course plans need to be flexible and you never know something better might come along that changes the course of your life altogether but just by having some time scheduled in for what you really want with help you feel empowered, in action and cuts out wasting time on things you may have just been doing out of habit (eg watching TV/ gazing at social media).

We are coming up to the end of the year soon (another example of how time flies!), if you'd like some help reviewing how 2013 has gone and creating your goals for next year I am offering a bumper Create 2014 coaching session which will include:

• A review of 2013
• Intention (Goal) setting & planning how you’ll achieve them
• Manifestation techniques to help make your dreams a reality
• NLP to help you be in the best mindset to really go for it

I am offering a discount for bookings made before 31st December – £150, usual price £240.

Please let me know if I can help!

Lots of love

 

  Ten years ago when I first set up my business as a new image consultant I began to go to networking events. I hated them, I felt uncomfortable and felt under pressure to sell myself enough to find a new business in just one evening. I used to dress up in a suit which just didn't feel like me which only added to my discomfort.

Then one day it dawned on me, what if I was just to go along and be myself rather than someone I thought I should be. So I ditched the suit for the kind of colourful clothes I loved and started to view networking events as a chance to just make some new friends. I'd always been good at meeting new people so this felt much more natural. Networking suddenly became a whole lot easier and now I actually enjoy it.

This mindset spilled out into the rest of my business and my life, just to be myself. I know it sounds obvious but how often do we put on a front, an act, to try to be something else we thing we should be.

When you are not being truly authentic you can give off mixed messages. Have you ever met someone where something just didn't feel quite right? An example of where I notice it often is when someone is super confident, almost over the top but there comes across an underlying insecurity beneath the surface.

We are all created perfectly unique. We all have our own beauty, individual talents and inner qualities. When we try so hard to be something we are not we are going against the purpose of our lives; which is to just be our true selves and bring our unique gift to the world.

Life just gets easier when we are ourselves, we quit wasting so much energy when we give up trying to be something we are not. Comparison to others and trying to be like them will only ever lead us to living an inauthentic life which can be exhausting and damaging for our Spirit.

One of the magical things about just being yourself is that you start to attract people into your life that are a match for you. Like attracts like.

Since setting up my business ten years ago I have evolved into quite a different person to what I was back then. I was a party girl, spending most weekends out clubbing and drinking. Since discovering personal development, yoga and Spirituality all this has changed, I have different priorities now and a different lifestyle.

The transition to who I am now was an interesting one as I had changed but my friends hadn't, they were leading the same lives but I was following a different path. It can be hard when people are used to you drinking with them to suddenly say "I'll have a water please!". Although not always easy I stuck to my guns and was just open about the changes I was going through, sharing my journey with my friends and finding new ones.

Of course some friendships have fallen by the way side, sometimes in life you just go in different directions, but now I am surrounded by people who really know who I am, what's important to me and we are there for each other.

I have found that by just being me it encourages others to do the same. This is also the purpose of writing this post this morning, to encourage you to just be you. We are all made completely unique for a reason, you have a perfect combination of gifts, qualities and beauty that is just right for you. There is a partner, a job, a lifestyle, a future that is all just right for you. Trying to be someone or thing else will not help you get there, all you need to do is just be yourself.

With lots of love,

 

Is there something you want to do but for some reason you are just not doing it? You know you really want it but it's just not happening. You feel stuck, the more stuck you feel the worse you feel and then it's even hard to get out the stuck-ness. It can feel impossible to get motivated to do anything.

Sound familiar?

This feeling of being stuck often is covering up something else and uncovering what it is can be the key to get you in to action.

To explore what it might be try out these following questions:

1. What are you pretending in this situation? For example what is the story you are telling yourself or others about why you are stuck.
2. What are you really covering up here? What is really going on. Is there a fear? Fear can keep us in our safety zone. Do you even really want this? Lack of motivation often means what you want to achieve isn't really something you are passionate about but instead something you feel you "should" do.
3. What impact is this having on you?
4. How is this impacting other people in your life?
5. What would be a new, more empowering way to be in this situation?
6. How will you be behaving if you are being like this?
7. What is one action you could do now, being this way, to get you started?
8.  DO IT!

Sometimes just getting started is the hardest part. Picking something small and taking a baby step can get you going on your way.

If you are really sure this is something you 100% want but you just keep procrastinating, then another trick is to set something up to put some pressure on yourself, a deadline. I have been thinking about writing a book for a while now but it's been the first thing that slips when my time is busy because there has not been a set deadline. Until now. I am entering a competition to win a book publishing deal and the deadline is in April. Now that is still quite far away so I have also set up a chat with a publishing adviser to help me with my book idea in 3 weeks time, this will definitely get me into action to have something prepared to talk to her about then.

These days the on line world, especially social media sites, can be a complete distraction. If you find yourself putting something off but spending hours on line then give your self a digital detox! Switch off for a while so you can focus on what you really want to achieve.

Ultimately if you really want something in your life it's up to you to make it happen, no one else. Procrastinating can be so soul destroying as whilst you are doing nothing you are often feeling bad about not doing the very thing you want to be. Either do nothing and enjoy it or get into action!

"If it's to be, it's up to me"

If you still find yourself struggling, I can help you with Life Coaching & NLP, please give me a call for a chat to find out how. 07779 150886.

Louise x

 

  How much of your energy is spent trying to control something; your relationship, a work project, your business, anything really where you want it to be a certain way.

Taking control of your life, getting your power back, by doing what you love and what feels right for you is energising. On the flip side control can be exhausting if pushed for too much and exerted over situations (or people) external to ourselves.

Trying to get control over things that are external to us really is born out of fear. Fear of uncertainty, rejection, failure, looking stupid, the list is endless.

One thing we can be sure in life is that nothing stays the same, life is constantly evolving. As much as we can try to make something a certain way it is going to change at some stage. The beauty is that in the unexpected we learn, grow and evolve.

We can not control other people. It's as simple as that. Just as we can not be controlled by others, people can try but when we are in our own power we stand up for what is right for us.

In terms of relationships the more you try to control a loved one the more likely you are to push them away. Control can be seen as being needy, desperate or the flip side oppressive, domineering and often frightening, none of which you wish for in a partner.

Trying to control another is not a display of love, more a demand that they give you what you want. Being loving to someone allows them the freedom to be themselves, to give to them without expecting anything in return. If you catch yourself telling someone you love them then getting upset when they don't reply the way you wish, was that really expressing your love from your heart?  Or were you simply saying it to illicit a response from them, a form of control.

Notice through out your day today, or week, where you are trying to gain control. Notice how it feels. Notice what expectations you are putting on others and how you feel when they don't get met.

Ask yourself, what is really going on in this situation? What is the fear?

The flip side of fear is love. Once you recognise your fear ask yourself how can I be more loving to myself in this situation?

Forgive yourself for having these fearful thoughts and choose love instead. Love conquers over fear.

Much love.

 

Do you have any idea what your calling is in life? That drive, that passion for something that you just can't not do. Your calling sends you out of your comfort zone, you will do anything to make it happen.

It isn't necessarily your career, after all we are not our job title.

I feel mine is to help people live a life they love, whether it's with a client, a friend, a family member or anyone else I come into contact with. I have experienced what it feels like to feel really stuck, to hate a job you are in, to feel trapped in a relationship, to abuse your health and not have the courage to get out. Luckily this is an experience of my past, I love my life now and i'll never look back. I just want to help people in similar situations to get unstuck and create a life they love too.

Here are a few questions that may help you find some clarity around what your calling is too:

• If money were not an issue, what would you do with your time?
• What do you really love to do? You know that thing where you get so lost in time and completely immersed in it.
• What do you hate to do?
• What gives you energy?
• What drains you?
• In what area would you like to make a difference?
• Which area of the population do you feel drawn to help?
• What do you want to experience more of?
• What lights you up and lifts your heart?

As you go through your day pay attention to your heart; those moments when it flutters, when you feel a sense of love, are indicators of something being right for you, something to pursue and something to listen to.

Open your heart and your mind to the idea that you don't necessarily have to "find" your calling, your calling may just find you.

Namaste

 

Love is our natural state of being, it is what we are made of and who we are.

I am not talking about romantic love, just love. Love for our selves, for other people, animals, our planet and doing what we love. Love is hard to describe isn't it? It's a feeling, an energy and mostly a way of being.

We often get swayed away from "being love" though, often when we feel afraid of something.

I just caught myself out doing just that. I had planned to write a new e course this afternoon, something to give away on this website to people who sign up to my newsletter. I was all fired up  and ready to go then realised my email marketing system is down. Instantly I felt frustrated, stuck and not sure what to do next. My afternoon was not going according to plan!

This was a state of fear....fear of not doing enough for my business and even deeper than this; fear of it failing.

I sat and started at my laptop wondering what I could do instead, different ideas of blog posts to write came to mind but nothing was inspiring me until I calmed down and asked myself what do I love to write about? What inspires me? That's love.

In that moment I chose to do what I love and what I would love to write about.

As we go through each day we can swing between being in a state of love and experiencing fear. Fear of failure, not being good enough, being let down, being hurt, rejected, being stuck, being bored, looking stupid, being too clever, being too independent, needing someone too much.....the list of fears are endless.

Any time we are in a state of fear though we are not being loving to ourselves. Our thoughts become negative and we self sabotage.

My blog post to you today is a reminder to choose LOVE constantly through out your day.

Forgive yourself for having negative thoughts.....and then choose love instead.

Say kind, encouraging words to yourself.

Choose to do things you love to do, and even if there are something's you have to do that you'd rather not then ask yourself how could you make them more fun?

Think of those you love, and then send them love. Think of those that love you, and then send them love too.

Think of those you don't love, then send them love.

Volunteer, serve, give, do a random act of kindness, anything to share your love.

Love is not exclusive to just one person, love yourself and love everyone you come into contact with. We are all having a human experience, trying to do the best we can with the upbringing and life we have had so far. Yes sometimes we get it wrong, forgive that and choose love instead.

Love is where we find our power, our true selves, our humility, our joy and our connection with others.

Love really is all we need.

  We all have a story don't we?

You know the one about why you couldn't follow your dream when you were younger and how you've ended up doing something "that'll do" instead.

Or maybe it's the one about how someone broke your heart and now you'll never let anyone close to you again.

Perhaps it's the one about how you became over weight and it's impossible to loose it now.

Or the one about how you can't leave your job and other responsibilities to really do what you want instead?

Your story is the one you hear yourself repeating to people you meet and when justifying yourself.

The more you repeat your story the more it becomes your truth.

I can hear you all ready shouting at the screen "but it happened! it is the truth!".

Yes maybe the event happened but it's the meaning we give to the event that is where we can sabotage ourselves if we are not careful.

Often when something doesn't go our way we make it mean something negative about ourselves. We take it personally.

We add our interpretation to the event, to try to make sense of it, we then tell others and the more we find ourselves repeating it the more it becomes fact.

A typical example is when a relationship breaks down. Aside from the bare fact that of just not being right for each other, our mind quickly goes into overdrive working out why, and often what we personally did wrong. What was wrong with us or them. If we are not careful this is where we can start to form (or back up) negative beliefs about ourselves or men/relationships in general.

At this point we create a whole story around it that we then discuss with friends to try and figure out why it didn't work out. This can be so dangerous though if we are not careful as it's easy to make things up in our minds that we really do not know are the truth. Often they are not.

We go through life with these stories which can then turn into justifications about why we can not move forward in an area we'd most like to. We hold on to them as we like to be right, even if they hold us back.

Following is a great exercise to help to dissolve a story that could be holding you back;

Pick the story you feel you carry with you the most. The one that you tell yourself why you can't be fully living how you'd like to be.

Write it with the meaning you have already given it. Then.....

Write it with a comedy meaning.

A adventurous meaning.

A scary meaning.

The most outrageous meaning you could give it.

A shocking meaning.

A sweet meaning.

A lovely meaning.

A meaning that was of benefit to you.

A meaning taking into account your age at the time it happened, what your adult self can see now.

A compassionate meaning.

A meaning you would give it if you truly loved yourself and knew you were good enough.

Just notice how it feels now when you think of that story.

We can choose to perceive any event in our lives in a way that supports us, where we can learn from it and gain motivation from it. Take some time to look at the stories you tell yourself why you are not doing what you really want, then ask yourself; how much longer am I willing to hold on to these and allowing them to hold me back in my life?

Maybe now is the time to let them go.

  Are you relying on someone else to make you feel good?

Maybe it's waiting for that "I love you", phone call/text, being told how great you are at your job, or maybe seeking confirmation that you are on the right track.

Have you given up on your dream? Telling yourself it's not the right time, there isn't enough time, or maybe you just wouldn't be able to achieve it anyway so why bother.

Any time we seek externally to feel good, any time we justify why we are not doing what we really want and any time we blame others for feeling bad we are giving our power away.

We are not in control when we are behaving like this, we are simply handing it over to others or circumstance.

If you are experiencing a lack of power at the moment, make a decision now to claim it back! The great affirmation springs to mind:

"If it's to be, it's up to me!"

Start off by recognising where you are giving your power away? To what situation or to whom?

What feeling are you putting off and waiting for someone else/thing to cause you experience it?

What could you do right now to experience it? An example could be to sit in quiet meditation and access the feeling from within; when did you last feel it, what were you doing? what could you see all around you? what were you saying to your self? what sounds could you hear? where was the feeling in your body? Experience it now.

Another technique is to look in your life where you do feel that right now, for example if you are wanting to experience love; who do you love right now? who loves you? what do you love to do? Place your hand on your heart centre and connect with that love, it's always there within.

What area of your life or dream have you given up on?

Write down what you'd like to achieve, create a goal for it. If it seems to big and way off in the future write a small achievable goal that will act as a stepping stone to the bigger one. Setting a goal and making a commitment to do what ever you can to achieve it is the first step in taking responsibility for your life and getting your power back.

Next create a plan how you will achieve it, break it into monthly mini goals and weekly action steps. Then pick one thing you can do today to get your started and do that.

It's incredibly empowering setting goals and then taking action towards them.

Just remember, you have everything you seek with in you. You can access it at any time, the moment you seek it externally is when so start to loose your power. Even with goals, the journey is the most important part not the end destination. Be aware of setting a goal so that you can then feel something.....the best thing for you is to focus on being that first and then you will attract more of it into your life.

Have a great week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

  How many times have you wanted to do something but put it off?

Maybe you don't have enough money to do it yet.

Maybe there is not enough time.

Maybe the time isn't right.

Maybe you have other commitments.

Maybe people won't approve.

Maybe it's too scary.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.....

We can think of hundreds of excuse why we can't do what we want, this is our mind, full of all our fears getting in the way. If you really want to do something you can make your dream happen.

I have a top trick that helps me make what I want happen in my life, it works every time and never ceases to amaze me.

I put something in place that books it in. For example; I love to travel, but every year I never know where the money will come from to make it happen, it seems impossible as when working for yourself holiday pay is a thing of the past. So I book the flight. Just the flight and trust that the money will come for the rest. In fact I have been known to put the flight on a credit card, which I don't like doing so that fear of being in debt kicks in and helps me to pay it off as soon as possible.

I have done the same with courses I have wished to do, booked a place on it, paid a deposit so I know it is happening and then I have to find the money.

Something kicks into gear in your mind and encourages your creative juices to find ways of making it happen.

If you have learnt much about the law of attraction this is also in alignment with that, once you start to act like something is going to happen the universe conspires to make it a reality. On a more biological level we have a  part in our brain called the reticular activating system which is the part that once something is in your conscious you start to notice it more.

For example; I love the new Fiat 500 cars in pastel shades (especially yellow), it's no surprise I now see them every where I go. When something is in your mind you notice it more.

So if you have made the decision you are going to do something, put something in place to book it in then your mind will go off noticing ways to make it a reality.

An added extra trick is to then tell people it's going to happen. This will kick in our human need to look good so we will do anything to make it happen rather than tell people it hasn't!

So what are you going to create?

As for me, well I am going back to India in February! :-)

Happy Bank Holiday!

xxx

 

  Our experience of live begins with our thoughts. Every day thousands of thoughts pulse through our minds, we then choose to pay attention to some  and not to others. Our thoughts create our expectations and trigger our actions.

In terms of our beliefs, which are purely repetitive thoughts that we choose to believe are true, they create self fulfilling prophecies. They go something like this:

Going into an interview situation - belief  "I am great at what I do, I have a lot to offer this company"

Positive expectation - "I will be perfect for the job, I have a lot to offer"

Positive behaviour - displaying confidence and demonstrating how much you know in the interview

Positive outcome - you are more likely to get the job. Which then reinforces the belief  "I am great at what I do".

This is where positive beliefs, thoughts, can really support you in what you want to achieve.

However, it's also the same model for negative beliefs:

Going on a first date - belief  "I am not good enough"

Negative expectation - "They won't like me"

Negative behaviour - unconsciously demonstrating insecurity, not fully showing the best of yourself

Negative outcome - if they choose not to see you again this will back up your belief.

Your thoughts create how you feel and behave, so it's wise to choose your thoughts carefully. Always choose the higher thought, the one that will serve you.

Affirmations are great ways to change your thought process. It takes 21 days to build a new thought pattern in your mind, a new way of seeing things. So if you repeat something positive and supportive to your self, for long enough, you will start to experience it as true.

Louise Hay is a fantastic leader in positive affirmations, here are a few I particularly like:

I am doing my best and that is enough

I trust the process of life all I need is always taken care of

All is well, everything is working out for my highest good, out of this situation only good will come

All is perfect, all is well

There is a way I can fulfil my true purpose in life

I commit to living perfect health

The thought process is actually a constant dialogue of questions and answers, so another way to take care of your thoughts is to ask yourself positive questions such as:

What am I grateful for today?

What will feel good for me right now?

What makes me happy?

What can I congratulate myself for today? Where did I do a good job?

What can I do to resolve this situation in a way that is good for me and everyone else involved?

How can I help today?

What would make this more fun?

The fantastic news is your happiness is in your control, purely by changing your thoughts. In one new way of looking at a situation, in changing a belief that has held you back and in one decision that will create a dramatic change you can turn how you feel around.

This is ultimately one of the key benefits you experience from having life coaching, learning to train your thoughts to support you in every situation and access feeling good when ever you want. If you'd like to find out more please do give me a call, 07779 150886.

In the meantime.....choose your thoughts carefully and create a wonderful day today!

Namaste xx

 

 

I had a realisation this morning, I could dive if I wanted to. I know that sounds like quite an obvious thing to realise, as we all could, but for years I told my self I couldn't dive due to my asthma so I completely dismissed it out of my mind.

Growing up I loved the sea and I really wanted to dive but during my trip to Australia in 1997 a few diving schools told me not to risk it. So it became a belief, I couldn't ever dive. I didn't even bother to go check at the doctors if I could or not. Then it just became my reality and as a result I have not even thought about it since. In actual fact my mind has even come up with a fear to help me lay the desire to rest. I have told myself I wouldn't even enjoy it anyway as I might get scared deep down below the sea and not be able to come up quickly for air.

Clever things our minds aren't they?

However, I was chatting to someone last night who loves to dive and was asking me if I ever had, it got me thinking. There is no reason why I can't dive now, I have more or less cured my asthma and with all my yoga my lungs have expanded. The possibility is there now.

I'd love to learn to dive in Koh Tao, Thailand, it's beautiful there and from just snorkelling I can see the underwater life is amazing. How exciting :-)

What dream have you dismissed? What did you yearn to do as a child but somehow along the way it's been pushed to the side?

How could you make that happen now?

When we open up to possibility our minds shift and look for ways to make it a reality.

Louise x

 

Often when people ask me what I do, their response to "I am a life coach" is something along the lines of "so you tell people how to life their lives?" This could not be more far from the truth. Who would I be to tell people how to live their lives! I certainly don't have that kind of knowledge or insight into the purpose of someone else life here on earth and what is best for them.

Only you know what is best for you, deep inside your heart. I am simply there to draw this out and help to remove any ways of thinking that might be stopping you from connecting with that and going for what you really desire.

Here are a few more things you can expect from a going on a life coaching journey with me;

1) The answers come from you, as I have mentioned above, only you know what is best for you but sometimes stuff that has happened to us in the past and fears of the future get in the way. I will ask you specific questions and we'll work through different techniques to switch your way of thinking, and behaving, into a way that supports you.

2) Increased motivation. You will feel inspired by the goals we create, as we will make sure they are ones you really would love to achieve rather than ideas of things you feel you should do but don't really want to. Also the fact that we will meet regularly will help to keep you in action towards achieving your goals. Knowing you'll have to feedback to me on the action steps we set to do in between each session will help you get them done.

3) Empowerment. Coming to see a life coach, committing to making positive change in your life and doing something about it will empower you. Taking control and responsibility of how you feel,and your life, helps you to get your power back.

4) Boost your self confidence. I define self confidence as knowing that what ever the outcome you will be able to handle it. Sure sometimes we feel scared but having that knowing you'll be ok what ever is pure confidence. Through the coaching process you may find yourself doing things that scare you. This is great! It's a sign you are pushing boundaries and growing. Confidence gradually increases every time you feel the fear and do it anyway.

5) You'll feel listened to. I will be focusing purely on you, listening to everything you say, and don't say. I will hear you, I'll hear your dreams, your fears, your failures (which are great too as from them you learn, so they are not really failures at all) your successes, and we will celebrate all of them.

6) You'll feel supported. I am your biggest fan and I have 100% faith in you. I have no preconceived ideas about what I think you should be doing. All I want is for you to be able to access all you want in your life.

Depending on your goals I recommend a series of 6 or 12 sessions. I offer discounts for packages of 6 or 12 sessions. It's completely flexible though, if you have six and then feel like you'd like to carry on ad hoc then that's up to you. We can do the life coaching over Skype or face to face in London or Hove. Personally I think coaching on the beach front (in Hove/Brighton) is a great place to do it but it's up to you!

We can also create packages to include some yoga and/or Reiki sessions as both of these can help to release energetic and emotional blocks. So often we feel it all has to be worked out in the mind, but our bodies also store all of our emotions deep with in them.

If you'd like to chat more about how we can work together please do give me a call! My number is 07779 150886. If you are struggling financially and money is the only block then please call anyway as I am sure there is something we can work out, life coaching over Skype is a cheaper option anyway. I offer the first session for free so you can experience how I can help you.

Enjoy this wonderful sunshine we are blessed with.

Louise x

I am so excited, I am off to a yoga festival this weekend! 3 whole days of yoga, chanting, spiritual talks and lots of dancing. It's also a perfect time for a digital detox; I am going to turn my phone off for the entire time I'm there. If you have been reading my blog for a while you may know that last year I ran a digital detox retreat in the Caribbean, it was amazing! All the guests had to hand in their technology and give up contact with the outside world for 5 days. We did diary writing on the beach before breakfast, meditation walks and had life coaching sessions gazing out to the turquoise Caribbean sea.

Why would you want to do a digital detox?

Over the years our obsession with technology, being on line constantly, has become a bit of an addiction. With access being so immediate it's easy to feel pressure to respond to messages immediately and a fear of missing out can be created if social media is not constantly checked. This all increases stress levels and can make it hard to focus on one thing at a time, reducing productivity.

Problems in relationships also occur when the person you are with is left feeling like they don't have your full attention.

Allowing yourself a break from it all and switching off will help you:

• Sleep better
• Focus your attention on the person/people you are with
• Enjoy the moment
• Relax
• Have space to think clearly and in perspective
• Be creative

How to prepare

It's important to prepare before the big switch off or it can cause you more stress worrying about people trying to get in touch with you.

• Set your out of office and voice mail to say you are out of reach until X and will not be checking messages.
• Leave an alternative emergency contact if it's a work matter and warn the person who may be contacted!
• See if the place you are going to has a land line and give that to family just in case of emergencies, only if you feel you will be worried about that.
• Plan beforehand to get all your important things done/ emails sent before to avoid any sudden thoughts of things you forgot to do.
• Plan something fun to do, away from a screen....out doors if the weather is nice!

Whilst you are switched off it's a great time to contemplate your life, how you feel it is going and what you have learnt. Take a note book and pen and work through the following questions:

In the past year.... • What have I achieved? • What have I learnt? • What do I want to stop doing? • What do I want to continue doing? • What would I love to create in my life? • What do I need to do to make that happen and when am I going to do it?

How long is a good length for a detox?

If you can manage a few days you'll really get a lot of benefit from it. Initially it can be hard but once you give up the idea of checking on line all the time you relax into the moment and what you are doing.

However even a day or a few hours in the evening will help. Obviously you won't need to do all the preparation above for a short time.

Switching off a few hours before bedtime will help you sleep.

It might seem crazy even having to discuss this at all but when you look around at people on their phones, even at a dinner table or whilst walking down a busy street you can see how addicted a lot of us are!

Summer time is a perfect time for a digital detox as you are more likely to be going on holiday/ having weekends away. Take advantage of this opportunity and allow yourself the luxury to relax.

 

  Letting go of what you most want and trusting if it's meant to be it will be, can be HARD!

Many of us are programmed to keep pushing and pushing until it happens.

Releasing attachment to something being a certain way can be a lot easier that it sounds.

However, have you ever noticed the times when you just allowed yourself to surrender, it's suddenly fallen in to place. Perhaps not in the way you imagined but in a way that brings you more joy than you could have imagined.

I have heard many true stories of people "trying" so hard for a baby but then the moment they have stopped it's happened.

The classic example is when someone is looking for a relationship, so desperate that they actually end up repelling rather than attracting.

This area is where Faith really comes into play, whether you believe in God, The Universe, Higher Consciousness and so on, belief in a high power than is working in your favour, wanting you to succeed and putting things in your pathway for your higher good. Surrendering your life to this higher power and having Faith in it's love and support for your life.

Attachment is basically fear, fear of not getting what you want in the specific way that you want it.

Attachment can in fact close off opportunities, as you can become so narrow sighted of it happening in a certain way.

I remember taking part in a course a few years ago, we all had to take on a project, something that was bigger than us and would challenge us. It was a community project, something that would have in impact on a wider scale than just ourselves. We all put our heart and souls in to our projects; we created our visions for them, planned them, recruited teams to help make them happen and then just in the last few weeks we were told to hand to project over to another leader. It was a lesson on being attached.

I loved my project, I was so proud of it, and I loved the fact I had done most of it myself until I had to hand it over! What a lesson that was. What came out of it were fresh eyes, new ideas and an even better event with both two creative minds working on it than just one.

Letting go of attachment is not giving up and doing nothing. It's being in action but without need of it ending in a certain way.

How many people go on first dates and start analysing if they could see themselves "with" the other person for a long time? Even married?

How much pressure is that to put on a date when you have only just met?!

I think this can be why it can be harder to be single when you are older, there is more attachment to it ending in a certain way, your partner being a certain "type", your relationship defined in certain terms.

What if you let go off attachment to how your relationship is going to pan out? The direction of your business? Your role at work? Looking a  certain way?

How would life be?

I suggest taking a few moments out of your day to look at what you are attached to, another way of looking at is by asking your self "what is causing me the most stress and difficulty?". When something is "hard work" there is generally come kind of attachment around it.

Write down how your vision will be when you get it, how you will feel, what you will see, what you will be saying to yourself and others to you. Say a prayer to the Universe/ Angels/ God etc asking for help. Then rip it up, let it go and do something different instead.

Trust in the process of life.

Think back to times when you have felt like this before and recall how it all worked out in the end.

Things are always working out for our highest good, it may not feel like it at the time but there is always a lesson to be learnt and something good always comes eventually even out of the darkest times.

 

  Sometimes what is good for us is completely the opposite to what we think we want.

I am experiencing this at the moment. As a vinyasa flow yoga teacher, I like quite energetic, dynamic yoga full of sun salutations and asanas that challenge me. Recently I started to see a yoga teacher for 1-1 tuition and mentoring. She has given me the complete opposite, a slow, meditative practice with out a single sun salutation in sight.

It's a challenge, I consciously have to really slow my pace down every morning when I practice but it's making me feel good. I feel calmer, in actual fact I feel exhausted. I think recently I have been rushing around at such a fast pace it's helping me to slow down.

I can think of another time when something unexpected came out of something I didn't want. I had planned to go travelling with a boyfriend, I'd left my work and my home when he ended things. I decided to still go on my own and I can honestly say, thank God he didn't come! It would have been a completely different trip and I don't think it would have worked at all, our personalities travelling would have clashed. That trip transformed my life as it is today, but it might not have done had he have come along.

Life is constantly evolving and when we can learn to just flow with it's twists and turns that is where the magic happens.

Sometimes we think we want something, but that thing is just the same as what we have always done. It's not until we try something new that we can learn and grow. Experiencing something that is opposite to what we normally do, as in the case of my yoga, can bring us into a state of balance rather than extreme in one direction.

A useful (and fun) exercise is to look at your day to day routine and think about what you could change that would be completely different to what you normally do? Just one thing.

No matter how small, just try it and see what happens.

I'd love to hear about it! Comments below please :-)

 

  Working for yourself is brilliant isn't it? You get to do what you love, when you want and you don't have anyone else to answer to.

It can sometimes not feel that great though. A stretch of no new enquiries, loneliness, a client doing everything they can to delay paying, lack of cash flow, work seeping over into play time.....it can happen to the best of us.

Choosing to work for yourself is never going to be the easy option, your determination and belief in what you are doing has got to be so strong nothing will break it.

It's completely life changing though, I would go as far as saying it's a spiritual experience. Faith in yourself, what you have to offer and in a grander scheme, whether you believe in God, The Universe or what ever, is a requirement.

Through my journey of creating my own business I have had many ups and downs but I've never given up, even when people have suggested maybe I should. I believe in what I do, it's my passion and you just can't beat the feeling when months of hard work are all falling into place.

I am a fan in setting intentions, as well as being similar to your goals they are also a way of focusing on a way of being. This directs how you are acting/ thinking/ speaking in different situations.

Here are my 5 top intentions for staying positive when working for yourself;

1) FAITH - Knowing that what ever happens you will be ok, everything is working out perfectly even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Often we are taken in directions we didn't plan for and feel like it's moving us away from what we really want but have faith it's all just perfect. You will learn what you need to learn at just the right time and what ever happens you will be ok. Everything that happens is for your highest good.

2) PATIENCE - It's easy to want to steam ahead and everything to be achieved right now, how ever sometimes other things need to happen first. Faith and patience go hand in hand. When you try to force something to happen quicker than it should you may actually end up pushing it further away from you. We don't try to pull the daffodils open in Springtime before they are ready do we? Even when we are sick of the cold bleak winter and long for some yellow sunshine in our lives. When they do finally bloom we appreciate them even more.

3) BE OPEN - Pay attention to the people that come into your life, the conversations you hear, the posters you pass by, you just never know what may be put in your path to help you towards what you want to achieve. The universe is abundant, have you ever thought about wanting something and suddenly it's appeared in a way you could not have dreamed of? I know I certainly have. If you walk around with your head down and not interacting with people who cross your path you may miss out.

4) LISTEN - Listen to your inner voice, your gut instinct, it serves you well. Sometimes thoughts suddenly pop in to our minds from nowhere or feelings deep down that can be easy to just brush off if not careful. Learning to follow that instinct and see where it takes you can lead you down path ways you never imagined. Or can keep you safe from situations that are not so good for you.

5) ACKNOWLEDGE - Acknowledge yourself and others. No matter what is going on for you right now celebrate the little things you get done each day, even if all you managed to do was just one small thing on your to do list. Acknowledge all you receive through out a day, a smile, a kind word, an offer of help and express your gratitude to people who show up in your life.  The more you acknowledge and feel gratitude for the more you will notice it.

Working for yourself can feel lonely so it's a good idea to build up a few trusted friends who are also self employed. It really helps to be able to share and support each other on your journeys. A life coach can help you keep on track with your goals too, it's kind of like having your own personal manager to hold you to account, boost your creativity and challenge you when you feel stopped. If you'd like to see how I could help you please do get in touch [email protected]

 

 

  Over the years of being a life coach I have learnt that the belief "I'm not good enough" is one of the moment common ones to hold us back.

There is a fear that there are better people out there compared to us.

It's not just not being good enough but even just being enough, having enough, doing enough, saying enough.

In fact maybe this word enough should be BANNED!

Enough compared to what? Where is there a rule book of what is enough?

We are all completely unique individuals with our own special talents, gifts and beautiful qualities. The danger comes when we compare these to others.

We are not designed to be the same. If you put all your energy into forcing yourself to be like someone else, then you are not being true to yourself and you'll only ever be like a copy of them. You'll only ever go as far as they will, which completely cuts off your unique purpose in life.

The crazy thing is the person/ people you are comparing yourself to, will be comparing themselves to someone else, maybe even you.

If we are not careful our life can be driven by feeling incomplete; if we just buy those extra clothes, decorations for the house, go on the latest course then we'll feel satisfied. Do we? It can turn into an on going cycle of more more more but still feeling less.

Your soul is complete right now. You have all you need right now. You are a unique talented special individual that no one else on this planet is like. Isn't that amazing?

Just for a moment, sit down comfortably with your eyes closed and take a few long slow deep breaths. The once you feel your body has settled start to repeat to your self "I am enough, nothing is missing".

Notice how it feels.

It's the truth.