How much of your energy is spent trying to control something; your relationship, a work project, your business, anything really where you want it to be a certain way.
Taking control of your life, getting your power back, by doing what you love and what feels right for you is energising. On the flip side control can be exhausting if pushed for too much and exerted over situations (or people) external to ourselves.
Trying to get control over things that are external to us really is born out of fear. Fear of uncertainty, rejection, failure, looking stupid, the list is endless.
One thing we can be sure in life is that nothing stays the same, life is constantly evolving. As much as we can try to make something a certain way it is going to change at some stage. The beauty is that in the unexpected we learn, grow and evolve.
We can not control other people. It's as simple as that. Just as we can not be controlled by others, people can try but when we are in our own power we stand up for what is right for us.
In terms of relationships the more you try to control a loved one the more likely you are to push them away. Control can be seen as being needy, desperate or the flip side oppressive, domineering and often frightening, none of which you wish for in a partner.
Trying to control another is not a display of love, more a demand that they give you what you want. Being loving to someone allows them the freedom to be themselves, to give to them without expecting anything in return. If you catch yourself telling someone you love them then getting upset when they don't reply the way you wish, was that really expressing your love from your heart? Or were you simply saying it to illicit a response from them, a form of control.
Notice through out your day today, or week, where you are trying to gain control. Notice how it feels. Notice what expectations you are putting on others and how you feel when they don't get met.
Ask yourself, what is really going on in this situation? What is the fear?
The flip side of fear is love. Once you recognise your fear ask yourself how can I be more loving to myself in this situation?
Forgive yourself for having these fearful thoughts and choose love instead. Love conquers over fear.