You Are Enough

You are enough. Let those words wash over you. Repeat the following words a few times to yourself:

I am enough

I have enough

I do enough

Observe the reaction in your body. Observe the reaction in your emotions. Observe the reaction in your energy levels.

You don't have to have it all together. You don't have to know it all. You don't have to have more X. You have enough time.

Right now in this moment is enough. It's all enough.

How would you be behaving right now if you really believed it? What would you be doing? What would you be saying to yourself and others?

Maybe now is the time to act from this place. See what miracles occur when you do.

Lots of love

Louise x

What Is Happiness?

As many of you will know I am busy working on a happiness project at the moment called The Happiness Effect, it's a 2 day workshop based around exploring what happiness means to you and how to access happiness in your life in each moment. Through my research around happiness and my own personal journey over the years I have learnt that taking time to ask yourself "what is happiness" is the path to unlocking it within yourself.

When you explore what happiness is you also get to learn what it's not and what it means uniquely to you. What makes you feel happy might be completely different to your partner, friends and family.

I am not speaking about positive thinking, which can sometimes trick our mind into thinking we are happy when actually we're not. For example staying in a job you really do not like, or a difficult relationship. I mean that sense of joy, and also peace, you feel deep within when you feel real happiness.

When I was younger I used to delay my happiness, I'd think to myself when I have travelled to X country then I'll feel happy, or when I have achieved a certain income, bought a certain item of clothing (on the never ending want list!) and so on. This way of thinking left me with a constant feeling of striving and dissatisfaction with the present moment. In fact back then I probably was not even aware the  concept of the present moment!

The difference now is that how I am being in the present moment is the key to my personal happiness. How I am choosing to spend my time, doing the things I love, the things that are good for me and feel right in my heart. It's spending time in nature. It's being grateful for what I have in my life right now. It's being with people I love, that fill me up rather than take away my energy. It's also being in awe of the magic of how life unfolds naturally in it's own perfect timing and having faith in that.

Robert Holden (author of fab book "Be Happy") has a great exercise to connect with what makes you happy, he calls it "The Very Happy Exercise". Take a few moments to work through this and I am sure you will gain some insights into what happiness means to you:

Complete the following sentence 10 times:

I am very happy when......

Next write down the date by each point when you last experienced that.

Then notice what you can learn about happiness and yourself from this. It can be a very insightful exercise.

If you would like to find out more about our workshop, The Happiness Effect, please visit our website and you'll find there is a special early bird discount on offer until Thursday of this week - £200 instead of £495 which is the full price. This is only available until Thursday!

Be Happy.

Louise x

How To Manage Cravings

  Craving – wanting, yearning, something that you don’t have right now.

We all experience cravings. Mine can sometimes crop up in the form of being on a hot beach, cake and new clothes!

Cravings can work for us when we use them as a motivation to take action towards our dreams but most of the time they can be pretty detrimental. Taking us out of the present moment, giving us a feeling of lack and a sense that all is not well, right now. Serious cravings from addictions can completely over take your mind and body.

Cravings loose strength over time, just as everything in life they will eventually pass, so it's a case of finding techniques to manage them when they are at their strongest.

The present moment is one of the keys to help overcome cravings. Being in the moment helps you to think and make choices clearly. Rather than focusing on what you don’t have, look at what you do have.

Ask yourself “what am I grateful for in my life right now?”

If you find yourself in a state of wanting “more” of something…..look at what you already have.  It's easy to get stuck in a trap of wanting more of something you already have enough of, a classic example is clothes. Every season new clothes come out in the shops which can lead to the feeling that the current ones you have are not good enough any more, you have nothing to wear, you must have that new...... I find when I weed through my clients wardrobes they are always shocked at how much they do have and always find outfits they had forgotten they had. As a result the shopping list they had created reduces in size.

Ask yourself "where do I already have X (what you want more of) in my life right now?". Sometimes you can find it in the most unexpected places.

If it's a physical craving, wanting something you have given up, what healthy thing could you replace it with? I know when I have had spells of doing detoxes then finding something to replace the sugar cravings is a must. Cinnamon, liquorice tea, cleaning my teeth, going out for a walk and having a nap all have helped when my body is aching for something sweet.

Giving up a strongly addictive habit like drugs or alcohol ( would include sugar and caffeine in this too)? Then making a list of all the reasons why you are giving it up to read when you are craving will help to remind you why it's so bad for you.

Delay making a decision, if you are craving something tell yourself I'll look at this again in 30 mins/ 1 hour/ tomorrow to see how I feel then. Sometimes just in delaying it, by the time you think about it again it will have weakened or passed.

The Vipassana meditation technique teaches that everything will pass, our bodies, as life, are constantly changing. Rather than resisting feelings just observing them, accepting them for what they are and being with them helps to weaken them.. Eventually they will fade away and something else will come in its place. A way to observe the feelings are to notice the sensations they create in your body. Just notice them, that's all you have to do. You don't need to try to change them.

Over time as you resist giving into the craving, resist reacting to it, you will start to change your thought and behaviour patterns. Every time you don't indulge it will be a little bit easier the next time you have a craving.

I like to think of will power as a muscle and believe it's important to keep strengthening it. Every now and then it's good to give up something for a while, or work towards a goal that requires your will power. Strong will power will help you to achieve anything.

If you are really struggling with your cravings seek help, whether it's a friend you can call in need or a professional. You have the power within to take control of your life but sometimes it's good to get a little help along the way to remind you of this.

Are Your 6 Human Needs Being Met?

  Is there an area of your life that just isn't working right now?

If so, then make some time to work through these following questions.

On a scale of 1-5, 1 being none at all 5 being completely

• How much certainty do you have in this area?
• How much variety do you have?
• How much love and connection are you experiencing in this area?
• How much significance (feeling a bit unique) do you feel?
• How much growth are you experiencing?
• How much are you contributing to others?

Personal development guru, Tony Robbins, has identified that we have 6 human needs; certainty, variety, love & connection, significance, growth and contribution. The first 4 need to be in balance:

Certainty vs Variety

We need a balance between certainty in our life vs variety. We need to know we have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, money coming in for example. On the flip side we also need to feel some variety, having different experiences and not doing the same thing every day. If there is too much certainty, if everything is always the same, then this can lead to boredom.  On the other hand if there is too much variety, everything changing, being different all of the time then this can lead to overwhelm.

Love & Connection vs Significance

We all want to experience love, not just romantically but a sense of connection with others. If we need it too much though it can lead to co-dependence and lack of self esteem. On the flip side it's important to feel like you are a bit different from everyone else, significant, that there is something a bit special about you. Michael Jackson was a classic example of when significance goes too far and he ended up being completely different from everyone else around him. Too much significance can lead to a feeling of separation from others.

These are the four basic needs then we also have two higher ones; Growth and Contribution. The need to feel like we are growing and that we are making a difference to someone else. With out these there is limited expansion.

Now we will do anything to make these needs happen but not always in a way that is healthy to us. For example staying in an abusive relationship to still feel that connection with someone even though it's damaging, taking drugs to alleviate boredom, or getting completely drunk to escape when things just feel too much to deal with.

Back to that area you are struggling with at the moment. Have you noticed what need(s) are not being met in their area?

Now ask yourself the question for the Human Need that appears to be missing most:

What do I need to do right now to have more (X) in my life?

If it is not in a particular area – can I see it in other areas? (For example: If I need more ‘Love and Connection’ in my career, do I actually have that need fulfilled right now by my family or friends?)

This is a great exercise to do to clarify what actions to take to get you feeling back on track. Also to explore the others areas in your life where your needs actually are being met, maybe you just hadn't acknowledged it yet. In doing so shifts can occur.

Have a great week.

Louise x

Experience Freedom Now

  Most of us want to feel free don't we? Often when I am coaching clients "freedom" is one of the most common values that comes up. To experience freedom it's a common misconception that something has to happen for us to feel it.

For example "when I have a car I'll feel free", "when I have more money I'll feel free", "when I leave my job I'll feel free", "when the kids go to school I'll feel free" and so on.

Of course letting go of perceived ties (eg leaving a job) and obtaining more money can certainly help us to feel free, but thinking this way limits us. When we allow an external factor to be the cause of how we feel though we reduce our personal power and control over how we feel.

As with anything freedom is actually within us, we can access it at any given time. Here are a few suggestions how:

1) Drop attachments. When we are attached to a situation or person being a certain way it creates tension in the mind and body. There is freedom to be gained by letting go, trusting what ever happens is all for your highest good and it's meant to be that way.

2) Change your language. The things you say to yourself shape how you feel. For example if you are constantly telling yourself that you can't afford it this will become your reality, and a constricted one at that. If you had to find the money for an operation that would save your life, you would find it from somewhere. We are very resourceful creatures! Experiment by telling yourself "If I really want to do this I'll find the money" or "I could do it if I really wanted to". Often it's never really money that's the block, if we wanted something enough we would make it happen.

3) Make a list of 50 things you could do if you wanted to. Play around with small things like being able to turn on the tap and drink water (there are many people in the world who don't have this freedom) to go travelling around the world. We are so incredibly blessed with the amount freedom we actually have.

4) Meditate. Spend a few moments sitting quietly with your eyes closed. Bring to mind a time when you felt free, really picture it, notice the sounds you hear, how you feel, let the entire feeling of freedom wash over you.

5) Tell yourself "I am free". Create an affirmation that resonates with you and helps to to access the feeling of freedom. I like "Anything is possible".

Dropping attachments really is the biggie. We get so fixed on how we want things to be that if they don't go according to plan it can cause us a world of pain. Learning to be flexible and actually enjoying the process of life's twists and turns can set us free.

If you were free to do what you want to do this weekend what would you do? (Sorry I couldn't resist adding in that song link!)

Do it!

xx

Forgiveness

  For each yoga class I teach I like to set an intention, it's a way of blending in life with our practice on the mat.  It gives us space to see things from a different perspective, by connecting and listening to the body rather than the mind. The intention for tonight's class is forgiveness, whilst planning this today I felt it was something I want to discuss further by writing this.

There are 2 types of forgiveness, that of forgiving ourselves and that of others. Both are an act of self love how ever the latter we often confuse it with punishing the other person involved, making them wrong, making ourselves feel right.

When we harbour negative emotions like anger, hatred, jealousy, guilt, they build up as poisons in the body. They eat us up. This related to the phrase I often quote "what you resist persists" when you are unable to accept, forgive and let go. The longer you allow yourself to feel these emotions the longer they will continue to damage you.

We are often our harshest critic. We'll judge ourselves on what we perceive we have done wrong and go on and on about it in our minds. If you find yourself doing this ask yourself, "would I speak to someone I love like this?". Usually not. When we are speaking negatively to ourselves we are damaging our emotional bodies which lead to us feeling even worse and often eventually creating some kind of dis-ease in the body.

Self compassion and love is the biggest healer. I really recommend watching this TED talk on the power of self compassion by Kristen Neff. She has done research around the power of being compassionate to yourself, what this showed that although we have been led to think that if we are too soft and nice to ourselves we'll get lazy and won't get anything done the reverse is actually true. When we say negative things to ourselves we can loose our motivation but when we are supportive and encouraging we move forward with more ease and confidence.

One of the suppositions of NLP is that "every behaviour has  a positive intention". This doesn't mean that another person's behaviour is the best choice possible based from the outside looking in but I take it to mean that people do the best with what they have got. We have all had very different life experiences, which as a result we have a completely unique set of beliefs, values and rules in life. How someone behaves is from the way they see they world, what experiences they have been through.  It never really is about you. This can help to feel a level of compassion for someone even if you disagree with their behaviour.

Another technique to help generate compassion is to ask yourself where have you behaved in that way before? Often when someone else has acted in such a way that triggers us it's because it's touching a nerve subconsiously on something we don't like about ourselves. Within us we have all values and qualities good and bad but we choose to focus on the ones we like and hide the ones we don't.

For example I used to get really annoyed with people who would turn up late or cancel last minute, I saw it as a lack of integrity and it used to wind me up. However through enquiry I realised that I sometimes did that too, and being on time was so important to me that when I was late I didn't like that about myself. I didn't like letting people down.  Once I realised this, that we are all human and sometimes we are late and other times we need to cancel things for our own good it completely neutralised my annoyance towards friends who did that to me! Also, the times I have been late have never been about the other person at all, which is how it is with anything in life.

That was a simple example and I realise that sometimes forgiveness is very hard when someone has really hurt  and let you down. The first step to forgiving another person is a decision. A decision to love yourself enough to forgive them. It's not about them, it's to help you heal and move on.

There could also be something to forgive yourself for in that situation. When we are hurt our minds often make it mean it was partly our fault, we did something to cause it some how. So as well as forgiving the other person it's also important to forgive yourself for what ever you feel necessary.

Be kind to yourself, allow yourself the gift of forgiving and letting go. Make today the day for a new beginning; to allow love and peace into your life.

Namaste x

ps If you would like to experience living with intention I have created a 3 month e-course where I will set you an different intention to focus on each week and send you affirmations to help bring them into reality. To find out more see my Journey of Intention website.