How Your Story Could Be Holding You Back

  photo (2)We all have a story don't we?

You know the one about why you couldn't follow your dream when you were younger and how you've ended up doing something "that'll do" instead.

Or maybe it's the one about how someone broke your heart and now you'll never let anyone close to you again.

Perhaps it's the one about how you became over weight and it's impossible to loose it now.

Or the one about how you can't leave your job and other responsibilities to really do what you want instead?

Your story is the one you hear yourself repeating to people you meet and when justifying yourself.

The more you repeat your story the more it becomes your truth.

I can hear you all ready shouting at the screen "but it happened! it is the truth!".

Yes maybe the event happened but it's the meaning we give to the event that is where we can sabotage ourselves if we are not careful.

Often when something doesn't go our way we make it mean something negative about ourselves. We take it personally.

We add our interpretation to the event, to try to make sense of it, we then tell others and the more we find ourselves repeating it the more it becomes fact.

A typical example is when a relationship breaks down. Aside from the bare fact that of just not being right for each other, our mind quickly goes into overdrive working out why, and often what we personally did wrong. What was wrong with us or them. If we are not careful this is where we can start to form (or back up) negative beliefs about ourselves or men/relationships in general.

At this point we create a whole story around it that we then discuss with friends to try and figure out why it didn't work out. This can be so dangerous though if we are not careful as it's easy to make things up in our minds that we really do not know are the truth. Often they are not.

We go through life with these stories which can then turn into justifications about why we can not move forward in an area we'd most like to. We hold on to them as we like to be right, even if they hold us back.

Following is a great exercise to help to dissolve a story that could be holding you back;

Pick the story you feel you carry with you the most. The one that you tell yourself why you can't be fully living how you'd like to be.

Write it with the meaning you have already given it. Then.....

Write it with a comedy meaning.

A adventurous meaning.

A scary meaning.

The most outrageous meaning you could give it.

A shocking meaning.

A sweet meaning.

A lovely meaning.

A meaning that was of benefit to you.

A meaning taking into account your age at the time it happened, what your adult self can see now.

A compassionate meaning.

A meaning you would give it if you truly loved yourself and knew you were good enough.

Just notice how it feels now when you think of that story.

We can choose to perceive any event in our lives in a way that supports us, where we can learn from it and gain motivation from it. Take some time to look at the stories you tell yourself why you are not doing what you really want, then ask yourself; how much longer am I willing to hold on to these and allowing them to hold me back in my life?

Maybe now is the time to let them go.