Are you relying on someone else to make you feel good?

Maybe it's waiting for that "I love you", phone call/text, being told how great you are at your job, or maybe seeking confirmation that you are on the right track.

Have you given up on your dream? Telling yourself it's not the right time, there isn't enough time, or maybe you just wouldn't be able to achieve it anyway so why bother.

Any time we seek externally to feel good, any time we justify why we are not doing what we really want and any time we blame others for feeling bad we are giving our power away.

We are not in control when we are behaving like this, we are simply handing it over to others or circumstance.

If you are experiencing a lack of power at the moment, make a decision now to claim it back! The great affirmation springs to mind:

"If it's to be, it's up to me!"

Start off by recognising where you are giving your power away? To what situation or to whom?

What feeling are you putting off and waiting for someone else/thing to cause you experience it?

What could you do right now to experience it? An example could be to sit in quiet meditation and access the feeling from within; when did you last feel it, what were you doing? what could you see all around you? what were you saying to your self? what sounds could you hear? where was the feeling in your body? Experience it now.

Another technique is to look in your life where you do feel that right now, for example if you are wanting to experience love; who do you love right now? who loves you? what do you love to do? Place your hand on your heart centre and connect with that love, it's always there within.

What area of your life or dream have you given up on?

Write down what you'd like to achieve, create a goal for it. If it seems to big and way off in the future write a small achievable goal that will act as a stepping stone to the bigger one. Setting a goal and making a commitment to do what ever you can to achieve it is the first step in taking responsibility for your life and getting your power back.

Next create a plan how you will achieve it, break it into monthly mini goals and weekly action steps. Then pick one thing you can do today to get your started and do that.

It's incredibly empowering setting goals and then taking action towards them.

Just remember, you have everything you seek with in you. You can access it at any time, the moment you seek it externally is when so start to loose your power. Even with goals, the journey is the most important part not the end destination. Be aware of setting a goal so that you can then feel something.....the best thing for you is to focus on being that first and then you will attract more of it into your life.

Have a great week!

  How many times have you wanted to do something but put it off?

Maybe you don't have enough money to do it yet.

Maybe there is not enough time.

Maybe the time isn't right.

Maybe you have other commitments.

Maybe people won't approve.

Maybe it's too scary.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.....

We can think of hundreds of excuse why we can't do what we want, this is our mind, full of all our fears getting in the way. If you really want to do something you can make your dream happen.

I have a top trick that helps me make what I want happen in my life, it works every time and never ceases to amaze me.

I put something in place that books it in. For example; I love to travel, but every year I never know where the money will come from to make it happen, it seems impossible as when working for yourself holiday pay is a thing of the past. So I book the flight. Just the flight and trust that the money will come for the rest. In fact I have been known to put the flight on a credit card, which I don't like doing so that fear of being in debt kicks in and helps me to pay it off as soon as possible.

I have done the same with courses I have wished to do, booked a place on it, paid a deposit so I know it is happening and then I have to find the money.

Something kicks into gear in your mind and encourages your creative juices to find ways of making it happen.

If you have learnt much about the law of attraction this is also in alignment with that, once you start to act like something is going to happen the universe conspires to make it a reality. On a more biological level we have a  part in our brain called the reticular activating system which is the part that once something is in your conscious you start to notice it more.

For example; I love the new Fiat 500 cars in pastel shades (especially yellow), it's no surprise I now see them every where I go. When something is in your mind you notice it more.

So if you have made the decision you are going to do something, put something in place to book it in then your mind will go off noticing ways to make it a reality.

An added extra trick is to then tell people it's going to happen. This will kick in our human need to look good so we will do anything to make it happen rather than tell people it hasn't!

So what are you going to create?

As for me, well I am going back to India in February! :-)

Happy Bank Holiday!

xxx

  Our experience of live begins with our thoughts. Every day thousands of thoughts pulse through our minds, we then choose to pay attention to some  and not to others. Our thoughts create our expectations and trigger our actions.

In terms of our beliefs, which are purely repetitive thoughts that we choose to believe are true, they create self fulfilling prophecies. They go something like this:

Going into an interview situation - belief  "I am great at what I do, I have a lot to offer this company"

Positive expectation - "I will be perfect for the job, I have a lot to offer"

Positive behaviour - displaying confidence and demonstrating how much you know in the interview

Positive outcome - you are more likely to get the job. Which then reinforces the belief  "I am great at what I do".

This is where positive beliefs, thoughts, can really support you in what you want to achieve.

However, it's also the same model for negative beliefs:

Going on a first date - belief  "I am not good enough"

Negative expectation - "They won't like me"

Negative behaviour - unconsciously demonstrating insecurity, not fully showing the best of yourself

Negative outcome - if they choose not to see you again this will back up your belief.

Your thoughts create how you feel and behave, so it's wise to choose your thoughts carefully. Always choose the higher thought, the one that will serve you.

Affirmations are great ways to change your thought process. It takes 21 days to build a new thought pattern in your mind, a new way of seeing things. So if you repeat something positive and supportive to your self, for long enough, you will start to experience it as true.

Louise Hay is a fantastic leader in positive affirmations, here are a few I particularly like:

I am doing my best and that is enough

I trust the process of life all I need is always taken care of

All is well, everything is working out for my highest good, out of this situation only good will come

All is perfect, all is well

There is a way I can fulfil my true purpose in life

I commit to living perfect health

The thought process is actually a constant dialogue of questions and answers, so another way to take care of your thoughts is to ask yourself positive questions such as:

What am I grateful for today?

What will feel good for me right now?

What makes me happy?

What can I congratulate myself for today? Where did I do a good job?

What can I do to resolve this situation in a way that is good for me and everyone else involved?

How can I help today?

What would make this more fun?

The fantastic news is your happiness is in your control, purely by changing your thoughts. In one new way of looking at a situation, in changing a belief that has held you back and in one decision that will create a dramatic change you can turn how you feel around.

This is ultimately one of the key benefits you experience from having life coaching, learning to train your thoughts to support you in every situation and access feeling good when ever you want. If you'd like to find out more please do give me a call, 07779 150886.

In the meantime.....choose your thoughts carefully and create a wonderful day today!

Namaste xx

I had a realisation this morning, I could dive if I wanted to. I know that sounds like quite an obvious thing to realise, as we all could, but for years I told my self I couldn't dive due to my asthma so I completely dismissed it out of my mind.

Growing up I loved the sea and I really wanted to dive but during my trip to Australia in 1997 a few diving schools told me not to risk it. So it became a belief, I couldn't ever dive. I didn't even bother to go check at the doctors if I could or not. Then it just became my reality and as a result I have not even thought about it since. In actual fact my mind has even come up with a fear to help me lay the desire to rest. I have told myself I wouldn't even enjoy it anyway as I might get scared deep down below the sea and not be able to come up quickly for air.

Clever things our minds aren't they?

However, I was chatting to someone last night who loves to dive and was asking me if I ever had, it got me thinking. There is no reason why I can't dive now, I have more or less cured my asthma and with all my yoga my lungs have expanded. The possibility is there now.

I'd love to learn to dive in Koh Tao, Thailand, it's beautiful there and from just snorkelling I can see the underwater life is amazing. How exciting :-)

What dream have you dismissed? What did you yearn to do as a child but somehow along the way it's been pushed to the side?

How could you make that happen now?

When we open up to possibility our minds shift and look for ways to make it a reality.

Louise x

Often when people ask me what I do, their response to "I am a life coach" is something along the lines of "so you tell people how to life their lives?" This could not be more far from the truth. Who would I be to tell people how to live their lives! I certainly don't have that kind of knowledge or insight into the purpose of someone else life here on earth and what is best for them.

Only you know what is best for you, deep inside your heart. I am simply there to draw this out and help to remove any ways of thinking that might be stopping you from connecting with that and going for what you really desire.

Here are a few more things you can expect from a going on a life coaching journey with me;

1) The answers come from you, as I have mentioned above, only you know what is best for you but sometimes stuff that has happened to us in the past and fears of the future get in the way. I will ask you specific questions and we'll work through different techniques to switch your way of thinking, and behaving, into a way that supports you.

2) Increased motivation. You will feel inspired by the goals we create, as we will make sure they are ones you really would love to achieve rather than ideas of things you feel you should do but don't really want to. Also the fact that we will meet regularly will help to keep you in action towards achieving your goals. Knowing you'll have to feedback to me on the action steps we set to do in between each session will help you get them done.

3) Empowerment. Coming to see a life coach, committing to making positive change in your life and doing something about it will empower you. Taking control and responsibility of how you feel,and your life, helps you to get your power back.

4) Boost your self confidence. I define self confidence as knowing that what ever the outcome you will be able to handle it. Sure sometimes we feel scared but having that knowing you'll be ok what ever is pure confidence. Through the coaching process you may find yourself doing things that scare you. This is great! It's a sign you are pushing boundaries and growing. Confidence gradually increases every time you feel the fear and do it anyway.

5) You'll feel listened to. I will be focusing purely on you, listening to everything you say, and don't say. I will hear you, I'll hear your dreams, your fears, your failures (which are great too as from them you learn, so they are not really failures at all) your successes, and we will celebrate all of them.

6) You'll feel supported. I am your biggest fan and I have 100% faith in you. I have no preconceived ideas about what I think you should be doing. All I want is for you to be able to access all you want in your life.

Depending on your goals I recommend a series of 6 or 12 sessions. I offer discounts for packages of 6 or 12 sessions. It's completely flexible though, if you have six and then feel like you'd like to carry on ad hoc then that's up to you. We can do the life coaching over Skype or face to face in London or Hove. Personally I think coaching on the beach front (in Hove/Brighton) is a great place to do it but it's up to you!

We can also create packages to include some yoga and/or Reiki sessions as both of these can help to release energetic and emotional blocks. So often we feel it all has to be worked out in the mind, but our bodies also store all of our emotions deep with in them.

If you'd like to chat more about how we can work together please do give me a call! My number is 07779 150886. If you are struggling financially and money is the only block then please call anyway as I am sure there is something we can work out, life coaching over Skype is a cheaper option anyway. I offer the first session for free so you can experience how I can help you.

Enjoy this wonderful sunshine we are blessed with.

Louise x

I am so excited, I am off to a yoga festival this weekend! 3 whole days of yoga, chanting, spiritual talks and lots of dancing. It's also a perfect time for a digital detox; I am going to turn my phone off for the entire time I'm there. If you have been reading my blog for a while you may know that last year I ran a digital detox retreat in the Caribbean, it was amazing! All the guests had to hand in their technology and give up contact with the outside world for 5 days. We did diary writing on the beach before breakfast, meditation walks and had life coaching sessions gazing out to the turquoise Caribbean sea.

Why would you want to do a digital detox?

Over the years our obsession with technology, being on line constantly, has become a bit of an addiction. With access being so immediate it's easy to feel pressure to respond to messages immediately and a fear of missing out can be created if social media is not constantly checked. This all increases stress levels and can make it hard to focus on one thing at a time, reducing productivity.

Problems in relationships also occur when the person you are with is left feeling like they don't have your full attention.

Allowing yourself a break from it all and switching off will help you:

• Sleep better
• Focus your attention on the person/people you are with
• Enjoy the moment
• Relax
• Have space to think clearly and in perspective
• Be creative

How to prepare

It's important to prepare before the big switch off or it can cause you more stress worrying about people trying to get in touch with you.

• Set your out of office and voice mail to say you are out of reach until X and will not be checking messages.
• Leave an alternative emergency contact if it's a work matter and warn the person who may be contacted!
• See if the place you are going to has a land line and give that to family just in case of emergencies, only if you feel you will be worried about that.
• Plan beforehand to get all your important things done/ emails sent before to avoid any sudden thoughts of things you forgot to do.
• Plan something fun to do, away from a screen....out doors if the weather is nice!

Whilst you are switched off it's a great time to contemplate your life, how you feel it is going and what you have learnt. Take a note book and pen and work through the following questions:

In the past year.... • What have I achieved? • What have I learnt? • What do I want to stop doing? • What do I want to continue doing? • What would I love to create in my life? • What do I need to do to make that happen and when am I going to do it?

How long is a good length for a detox?

If you can manage a few days you'll really get a lot of benefit from it. Initially it can be hard but once you give up the idea of checking on line all the time you relax into the moment and what you are doing.

However even a day or a few hours in the evening will help. Obviously you won't need to do all the preparation above for a short time.

Switching off a few hours before bedtime will help you sleep.

It might seem crazy even having to discuss this at all but when you look around at people on their phones, even at a dinner table or whilst walking down a busy street you can see how addicted a lot of us are!

Summer time is a perfect time for a digital detox as you are more likely to be going on holiday/ having weekends away. Take advantage of this opportunity and allow yourself the luxury to relax.

  Letting go of what you most want and trusting if it's meant to be it will be, can be HARD!

Many of us are programmed to keep pushing and pushing until it happens.

Releasing attachment to something being a certain way can be a lot easier that it sounds.

However, have you ever noticed the times when you just allowed yourself to surrender, it's suddenly fallen in to place. Perhaps not in the way you imagined but in a way that brings you more joy than you could have imagined.

I have heard many true stories of people "trying" so hard for a baby but then the moment they have stopped it's happened.

The classic example is when someone is looking for a relationship, so desperate that they actually end up repelling rather than attracting.

This area is where Faith really comes into play, whether you believe in God, The Universe, Higher Consciousness and so on, belief in a high power than is working in your favour, wanting you to succeed and putting things in your pathway for your higher good. Surrendering your life to this higher power and having Faith in it's love and support for your life.

Attachment is basically fear, fear of not getting what you want in the specific way that you want it.

Attachment can in fact close off opportunities, as you can become so narrow sighted of it happening in a certain way.

I remember taking part in a course a few years ago, we all had to take on a project, something that was bigger than us and would challenge us. It was a community project, something that would have in impact on a wider scale than just ourselves. We all put our heart and souls in to our projects; we created our visions for them, planned them, recruited teams to help make them happen and then just in the last few weeks we were told to hand to project over to another leader. It was a lesson on being attached.

I loved my project, I was so proud of it, and I loved the fact I had done most of it myself until I had to hand it over! What a lesson that was. What came out of it were fresh eyes, new ideas and an even better event with both two creative minds working on it than just one.

Letting go of attachment is not giving up and doing nothing. It's being in action but without need of it ending in a certain way.

How many people go on first dates and start analysing if they could see themselves "with" the other person for a long time? Even married?

How much pressure is that to put on a date when you have only just met?!

I think this can be why it can be harder to be single when you are older, there is more attachment to it ending in a certain way, your partner being a certain "type", your relationship defined in certain terms.

What if you let go off attachment to how your relationship is going to pan out? The direction of your business? Your role at work? Looking a  certain way?

How would life be?

I suggest taking a few moments out of your day to look at what you are attached to, another way of looking at is by asking your self "what is causing me the most stress and difficulty?". When something is "hard work" there is generally come kind of attachment around it.

Write down how your vision will be when you get it, how you will feel, what you will see, what you will be saying to yourself and others to you. Say a prayer to the Universe/ Angels/ God etc asking for help. Then rip it up, let it go and do something different instead.

Trust in the process of life.

Think back to times when you have felt like this before and recall how it all worked out in the end.

Things are always working out for our highest good, it may not feel like it at the time but there is always a lesson to be learnt and something good always comes eventually even out of the darkest times.

  Sometimes what is good for us is completely the opposite to what we think we want.

I am experiencing this at the moment. As a vinyasa flow yoga teacher, I like quite energetic, dynamic yoga full of sun salutations and asanas that challenge me. Recently I started to see a yoga teacher for 1-1 tuition and mentoring. She has given me the complete opposite, a slow, meditative practice with out a single sun salutation in sight.

It's a challenge, I consciously have to really slow my pace down every morning when I practice but it's making me feel good. I feel calmer, in actual fact I feel exhausted. I think recently I have been rushing around at such a fast pace it's helping me to slow down.

I can think of another time when something unexpected came out of something I didn't want. I had planned to go travelling with a boyfriend, I'd left my work and my home when he ended things. I decided to still go on my own and I can honestly say, thank God he didn't come! It would have been a completely different trip and I don't think it would have worked at all, our personalities travelling would have clashed. That trip transformed my life as it is today, but it might not have done had he have come along.

Life is constantly evolving and when we can learn to just flow with it's twists and turns that is where the magic happens.

Sometimes we think we want something, but that thing is just the same as what we have always done. It's not until we try something new that we can learn and grow. Experiencing something that is opposite to what we normally do, as in the case of my yoga, can bring us into a state of balance rather than extreme in one direction.

A useful (and fun) exercise is to look at your day to day routine and think about what you could change that would be completely different to what you normally do? Just one thing.

No matter how small, just try it and see what happens.

I'd love to hear about it! Comments below please :-)

  Working for yourself is brilliant isn't it? You get to do what you love, when you want and you don't have anyone else to answer to.

It can sometimes not feel that great though. A stretch of no new enquiries, loneliness, a client doing everything they can to delay paying, lack of cash flow, work seeping over into play time.....it can happen to the best of us.

Choosing to work for yourself is never going to be the easy option, your determination and belief in what you are doing has got to be so strong nothing will break it.

It's completely life changing though, I would go as far as saying it's a spiritual experience. Faith in yourself, what you have to offer and in a grander scheme, whether you believe in God, The Universe or what ever, is a requirement.

Through my journey of creating my own business I have had many ups and downs but I've never given up, even when people have suggested maybe I should. I believe in what I do, it's my passion and you just can't beat the feeling when months of hard work are all falling into place.

I am a fan in setting intentions, as well as being similar to your goals they are also a way of focusing on a way of being. This directs how you are acting/ thinking/ speaking in different situations.

Here are my 5 top intentions for staying positive when working for yourself;

1) FAITH - Knowing that what ever happens you will be ok, everything is working out perfectly even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Often we are taken in directions we didn't plan for and feel like it's moving us away from what we really want but have faith it's all just perfect. You will learn what you need to learn at just the right time and what ever happens you will be ok. Everything that happens is for your highest good.

2) PATIENCE - It's easy to want to steam ahead and everything to be achieved right now, how ever sometimes other things need to happen first. Faith and patience go hand in hand. When you try to force something to happen quicker than it should you may actually end up pushing it further away from you. We don't try to pull the daffodils open in Springtime before they are ready do we? Even when we are sick of the cold bleak winter and long for some yellow sunshine in our lives. When they do finally bloom we appreciate them even more.

3) BE OPEN - Pay attention to the people that come into your life, the conversations you hear, the posters you pass by, you just never know what may be put in your path to help you towards what you want to achieve. The universe is abundant, have you ever thought about wanting something and suddenly it's appeared in a way you could not have dreamed of? I know I certainly have. If you walk around with your head down and not interacting with people who cross your path you may miss out.

4) LISTEN - Listen to your inner voice, your gut instinct, it serves you well. Sometimes thoughts suddenly pop in to our minds from nowhere or feelings deep down that can be easy to just brush off if not careful. Learning to follow that instinct and see where it takes you can lead you down path ways you never imagined. Or can keep you safe from situations that are not so good for you.

5) ACKNOWLEDGE - Acknowledge yourself and others. No matter what is going on for you right now celebrate the little things you get done each day, even if all you managed to do was just one small thing on your to do list. Acknowledge all you receive through out a day, a smile, a kind word, an offer of help and express your gratitude to people who show up in your life.  The more you acknowledge and feel gratitude for the more you will notice it.

Working for yourself can feel lonely so it's a good idea to build up a few trusted friends who are also self employed. It really helps to be able to share and support each other on your journeys. A life coach can help you keep on track with your goals too, it's kind of like having your own personal manager to hold you to account, boost your creativity and challenge you when you feel stopped. If you'd like to see how I could help you please do get in touch [email protected]

  Over the years of being a life coach I have learnt that the belief "I'm not good enough" is one of the moment common ones to hold us back.

There is a fear that there are better people out there compared to us.

It's not just not being good enough but even just being enough, having enough, doing enough, saying enough.

In fact maybe this word enough should be BANNED!

Enough compared to what? Where is there a rule book of what is enough?

We are all completely unique individuals with our own special talents, gifts and beautiful qualities. The danger comes when we compare these to others.

We are not designed to be the same. If you put all your energy into forcing yourself to be like someone else, then you are not being true to yourself and you'll only ever be like a copy of them. You'll only ever go as far as they will, which completely cuts off your unique purpose in life.

The crazy thing is the person/ people you are comparing yourself to, will be comparing themselves to someone else, maybe even you.

If we are not careful our life can be driven by feeling incomplete; if we just buy those extra clothes, decorations for the house, go on the latest course then we'll feel satisfied. Do we? It can turn into an on going cycle of more more more but still feeling less.

Your soul is complete right now. You have all you need right now. You are a unique talented special individual that no one else on this planet is like. Isn't that amazing?

Just for a moment, sit down comfortably with your eyes closed and take a few long slow deep breaths. The once you feel your body has settled start to repeat to your self "I am enough, nothing is missing".

Notice how it feels.

It's the truth.

  “Procrastination is the thief of time.”

Edward Young English poet (1683 - 1765)

I am sure I am not the only one who finds themselves some days just faffing around, with no real direction, making cups of tea, hopping from one thing to another but never really getting anything done. We all have days like this, it’s natural and sometimes it’s good just to accept it’s one of those days and allow yourself a break. However when it starts to become more like your reality of every day then you will start to realise how very true Edward Young’s quote really is. Time flies by and if you spend most of it putting things off before you know it you will have let all the things you want to achieve in your life pass you by.

The more you put things off the worse you feel about yourself or the task in hand. You either beat yourself up because you are not on track to achieving your goals or you feel more and more overwhelmed by the task you find most daunting. So why do we do it to ourselves? There are a whole number of reasons that will be personal to you but the most general ones are fear and lack of motivation.

Following are my top 7 tips to overcoming procrastination and getting yourself into action!

1.  Is what you are doing inspiring to you? When doing something that is linked to our highest values (the feelings we want to feel on a daily basis) we have the energy and motivation for it. We will do anything to make it happen as we want to experience what is important to us. If there is no link then you won’t have any drive to make it happen. Look at your to do list and ask yourself, how can this lead me to what I most want? Until you get this your motivation levels are likely to be low.
2. What will be the benefits of getting this task done? What will be the “pain” or consequences if you don’t get it done? Human beings are driven by pleasure and pain, we will do anything to avoid feelings that are painful to us and anything to feel good. When the consequences are bad enough and the benefits are attractive enough you will be driven into action.
3. Overwhelm can lead us to procrastinate so break what you have to get done into small manageable chunks and plan in your diary when you are going to do each bit. Then just pick one thing. One small thing just to get you started. If you do just that then be pleased with yourself, but you never know it might just get you started to carry on with a bit more.
4. Set rewards, if it’s something you really don’t want to do but have to, for the greater cause, then plan to treat yourself afterwards. Do something to reward yourself for getting it out of the way.
5. Pick the thing you are most putting off and do it first. The longer you put something off the bigger it gets in your mind, the more energy you use thinking about it and the more effort it feel like it will be. I have a pet name for these tasks…..monsters! Get your monster done first and then you are free to enjoy the rest of your day. Often they are not that bad anyway, it’s just the thought of doing it that makes it worse than it really is and being in action even though you feel a bit scared is a sure fire way to raise your self confidence.
6. Give yourself a deadline. If the thing you are putting off is not imposed on you by someone else and does not have a deadline then it’s easy to just let it slip. If you really want to get something done with urgency, set yourself a deadline and then tell people close to you about it. Our human nature of wanting to look good to others will then kick in and drive us to want to get it done on time!
7. If there is something continuously on your to do list, something you always set goals around but you just never get there then perhaps it’s time to have a rethink? Do you actually really want to achieve it? Sometimes we set our selves goals around what we think we “should” achieve, based on other peoples values and aspirations. However, these are other people’s dreams and what is right for them might not be want you really want deep down, then you simply won’t have the drive to make it happen. Goals like this are best left to the people whose dreams they are, instead create something for yourself that really gets you excited and inspired.

Finally.... sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself if you are really having "one of those days" is to just go out and do something completely different instead!!! Something that you'd like to that will make you smile and really enjoy doing it. Often when we take the pressure off it happens naturally, our creative juices start to flow and our energy for what ever it is returns. If it doesn't then, as above, is it really something you want to be doing anyway?

Have a great weekend!