What Feels Right For You?

Life Coaching Blog

I experimented with something new this week, writing my blog every day. As I sit here to write my last post of the week I have to say I don't think realistically I will be able to keep it up. I enjoyed it, I love a challenge, but come to day 5 and it's felt like it is something I "have" to do than really feel inspired to do.

So from next week I am going to go with what feels right for me, and that is to post when I feel really inspired to share something with you. Like I am now. Who know's it might end up being every day anyway :-)

When something feels right for you it just flows. It's not hard work. It's fun.

There is no tension, no resistance, no worry. It just feels right.

Tapping into how something feels for you is such a useful tool. I have had experiences in work, friendships and relationships where something hasn't felt right. The times I have ignored this continuing anyway I have ended up looking back and wishing I had just paid attention to those inner feelings. We learn through those times though so there is nothing to regret.

It can be easy to think once you have started something you have to go through with it or can't turn back. Of course you can. We are only on this planet for a short period of time and if something isn't causing you happiness why waste any more time on it?

When you take the seriousness out of life and see it merely as a game, an adventure then you can begin to really play.

So as we come to the end of our working week what game are you going to play this weekend? What do you really feel like doing? Our time can get caught up with doing things we should do rather than what we really want to. What could you do to make this weekend pleasurable for you?

This isn't being selfish. By loving and taking care of yourself you will be better equipped to help and be loving to those around you.

Have a lovely weekend.

Bring Some Lightness To Your Day!

Life can get so serious some times can't it? All these "should's" we put on our selves, or take on from others. Worries about money or what may or may not happen in the future. Fears about failing. Being bothered about what other people are going to think. Over analysis about how are relationships are working out. The list is endless.

Where has all the fun gone?! They have even created laughter yoga classes now to remind us how to laugh!!! (They are actually very funny).

Can you notice the connection between everything in that list?

It all comes from our minds. It's our thoughts that make things so serious.

So what if you fail? As Thomas Edison once said about inventing the light bulb "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

So what if you don't do what you feel you "should?" Is the world going to fall down around you?

So what if people make a judgement about you? You can be sure it will be linked to how they feel about themselves anyway.

So what if you can't buy that new outfit or new thingymajiggy for your house. At least you have somewhere to lay your head at night.

I was listening to an interview with the woman who invented Spanx pants the other day, Sara Blakely. She was speaking about the gift her father gave her whilst she was growing up, the gift knowing it is OK to fail. He used to ask her and her siblings what had they failed at each week, and when they said what it was he would give them a high five! How wonderful is that? Growing up with this mind set encouraged her just to try things out with no fear if they worked or not, and now she is a billionaire thanks to her invention Spanx.

It's time to lighten up!

Laugh!

Smile at strangers, it's contagious.

Jump for joy at every great thing that happens in your day!

Skip down the road, I guarantee it will make you and others laugh!

Play games.

Be silly.

Have a food fight.

Do what ever it takes to bring some laughter into your life.

You have a choice how you choose to be in any given situation. Even a funeral can be turned in to a joyous celebration of your loved ones life if you choose to make it that way.

I heard a great quote recently. "Life happens FOR you, not against you." There is a gift in every situation, if you look deeply enough you will see there is always something to learn, something good to take away from it.

Just for today let go of any pressures, burdens, "should's" and worries....I bet this time next year if asked you what they were you would not remember them anyway.

Give yourself permission to lighten up and smile. This is your day.

xxx

How to have a great Christmas with less money!

I am sure there are quite a few people out there who are feeling a little daunted by Christmas this year in the current economic climate. It seems many of us are being careful with our purse strings at the moment and Christmas couldn't have fallen at a worse time. However it may seem Christmas isn't about money at all, it originated to celebrate the birthday of Jesus and whether you are religious or not it’s a time for love and connection. Over the years Christmas has come a bigger and bigger commercial opportunity, from early November we start to be bombarded with adverts for the best gifts to give, people become competitive about their decorations, the food we cook needs to be the finest and so on. Is this all really necessary though to show people we care? Not really.

Following are my top tips to have a Christmas with not much money!

1) Make hampers. A great friend of mine once was a bit cash poor one Christmas and decided to make homemade food hampers for all her family. She made delicious homemade chutneys, sauces and even truffles. They really went down a hit.

2) Invite people over and ask everyone to bring a dish, one New Year’s Eve a friend hosted a great party were we all brought a different course. We all really enjoyed contributing and sampling each other’s delights.

3) Agree a budget with everyone or even agree on no presents this year; lots of people are in the same situation this year so you might actually be helping ease each other’s minds by suggesting it.

4) Make your own Christmas cards, spending some time switching off from usual everyday stuff and being creative is great fun. Plus people really appreciate time spent on anything homemade. Stock up on glitter, ribbons and stick on stars and enjoy!!

5) Put aside thoughts of what to buy and think about how to show your love. How can you tell the people you care about the most you love them? Letters, conversations, sharing memories and what someone means to you, photographs, making time for them all spring to mind.

6) If you can’t give with money what about gifts with your time, what could you offer to help someone with? What could you arrange to do with them that would be meaningful? People tend to remember experiences more than material possessions.

7) Volunteer to help people who have less than you, for example the homeless charity Crisis UK opens Christmas centres across London and Newcastle from 22-30 December that offer vital companionship, hot meals and warmth, and a wide range of essential services that homeless people often miss out on. See the time bank website for more details.

8) Make the most of your time off work, allow yourself to stop, switch off and relax. It’s a great time to reflect on the year gone by, what you have learnt and what you would like to do next year. Open this conversation up to others, there will be an opportunity to learn from each other and share your dreams, which will put them into reality and help to make them happen.

Showing you love someone doesn't have to cost money and often the things that touch our hearts the most are actions and words which are priceless.

Happy Christmas!

Synchronicity; Living Life in the Flow

  The Celestine Prophecy was the first inspirational, spiritual type book I ever read. It was one of those “in” books that you saw every other traveller on the beach reading back then. One concept that I loved from that book was about synchronicity. Synchronicity is when you are really living life in the flow, things are going well, you are noticing opportunities that present themselves and embracing them. An example of this is when you think of a person and then they suddenly get in touch or you bump into them. The idea is that there are no coincidences but people and opportunities are put in your way for a reason. When you are aware of this you learn to pay attention to the people and situations that come into your life and allow yourself to learn from them.

I had an experience of just this about 6 years ago, I bumped into a man I had met in a club a few months before who I had not really wanted to see again, simply because I thought we would have nothing in common. As I really believe you don’t just see people again for no reason I went up to him to say hello. The result of this was over a few months he introduced me to personal development, which I fell in love with and then decided to be a coach! Who knows if I had not gone up to him that day I might not be writing this article today. Meeting him really did change my life, and to think I could have easily ran off in the other direction!

There are a few things that block our lives from being open to our lives just flowing like this;

1) Resistance; this is another word for fear. Fear of change and uncertainty is something that can keep us stuck in the same place doing the same things for years. We make excuses and justifications of why we don’t go for what we really want deep down. This blocks the energy and gets in the way of noticing ways to make your life how you would love it to be. 2) Need for control; we have a habit of wanting to plan and control everything. Whilst goals are good to visualise what you want and attract opportunities to make them happen you can also be too attached to them if you are not careful. Then you feel upset if they don’t happen. We really don’t know what is around the next corner and it’s wise to learn to feel stable within uncertainty. We grow and develop new personal qualities in uncertainty, it’s an exciting time. Meditation helps to create inner strength to cope with any situation; you can get over fear and find happiness and energy when you allow yourself just to be in the flow. I have had many goals where I haven’t known how I will achieve them and then a few months later I look back and realise I did but in a completely different way to what I had planned.

3) Expectation; this is really another form of control, we set expectations of how a situation should be or how a person should behave then we get upset then it doesn’t happen that way. Everyone has their own way of doing things and their own freedom; it’s unfair to put expectations on them. Allow people just to be themselves and just focus on being your amazing self.

In this moment is where the magic happens, pay attention to it, notice opportunities and look out for what you can learn.

The Joy of Travelling on Your Own

More and more people now go for holidays on their own, to have their own little adventure or simply just to have some down time to themselves. If it is something you have not done before it can seem bit daunting though and not very appealing. I love holidays with friends or family but have had some of the best experiences and have made great new friends when I have gone away by myself. It can really push you out of your comfort zone which is always a good thing to open your mind and boost your confidence. If you are in two minds about whether to go it alone here are my top benefits for travelling alone: 1. You are totally free and independent. You can do what you want when you want. It also means you have to make your own decisions. If you are someone who often needs to consult others before deciding what to do it will help you flex that muscle of trusting yourself and what you want.

2. You meet more people when you are on your own. Whenever I have travelled alone I have never actually been alone for very long as you meet people where ever you go. If you find it hard to meet new people this will be great practise for you in small talk and creating new friendships. Plus the types of people you meet are so diverse you are likely to meet different personalities than you already have in your everyday life. This helps you to see new perspectives and opens your mind to new ways of thinking.

3. You might feel a bit scared; if you have not travelled alone you will be pushed out of your comfort zone. Eating alone, taking an overnight train trip, turning up to a new place without accommodation, booking a local tour not knowing where you are going, getting a bus and not knowing what stop to get off at…..are all examples of things you might not be used to. Doing things that scare you a bit will boost your self-confidence and belief that you can cope with anything. We don’t develop so much when we stay in our comfort zone doing the same things day in day out.

4. You find yourself in situations you never imagined (for example getting up at 4am with a group of people you just met to walk through jungle, hike up a rock face with no safety equipment to a tiny Indian temple to watch the sunrise to then climb down and all have a lovely milky sweet chai tea together) and once home you will look back with fond memories and a huge sense of achievement.

5. You are totally free to do what you want and be yourself. You don’t have to do anything you feel like you “should”, to live up to the expectations of others, you are simply free to be you. This should be the case day to day anyway but unfortunately our minds tend to get caught up with comparing ourselves and pleasing others.

6. You immerse yourself in different cultures which open your mind and help you to see life from new perspectives.

7. It gives you time and space to think and evaluate. Time away from your everyday life and people gives you a chance to see your life from a new perspective, you don’t have other people’s opinions swaying you. You are free to work out what you want from your life all on your own. Which is great as it will be what you really want 100%.

If you are thinking of going off travelling some websites I recommend are:

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/ http://www.travelfish.org/ http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ http://www.makemytrip.com/

Have fun! For 1-1 confidence coaching please contact Louise at [email protected]