I am so excited, I am off to a yoga festival this weekend! 3 whole days of yoga, chanting, spiritual talks and lots of dancing. It's also a perfect time for a digital detox; I am going to turn my phone off for the entire time I'm there. If you have been reading my blog for a while you may know that last year I ran a digital detox retreat in the Caribbean, it was amazing! All the guests had to hand in their technology and give up contact with the outside world for 5 days. We did diary writing on the beach before breakfast, meditation walks and had life coaching sessions gazing out to the turquoise Caribbean sea.

Why would you want to do a digital detox?

Over the years our obsession with technology, being on line constantly, has become a bit of an addiction. With access being so immediate it's easy to feel pressure to respond to messages immediately and a fear of missing out can be created if social media is not constantly checked. This all increases stress levels and can make it hard to focus on one thing at a time, reducing productivity.

Problems in relationships also occur when the person you are with is left feeling like they don't have your full attention.

Allowing yourself a break from it all and switching off will help you:

• Sleep better
• Focus your attention on the person/people you are with
• Enjoy the moment
• Relax
• Have space to think clearly and in perspective
• Be creative

How to prepare

It's important to prepare before the big switch off or it can cause you more stress worrying about people trying to get in touch with you.

• Set your out of office and voice mail to say you are out of reach until X and will not be checking messages.
• Leave an alternative emergency contact if it's a work matter and warn the person who may be contacted!
• See if the place you are going to has a land line and give that to family just in case of emergencies, only if you feel you will be worried about that.
• Plan beforehand to get all your important things done/ emails sent before to avoid any sudden thoughts of things you forgot to do.
• Plan something fun to do, away from a screen....out doors if the weather is nice!

Whilst you are switched off it's a great time to contemplate your life, how you feel it is going and what you have learnt. Take a note book and pen and work through the following questions:

In the past year.... • What have I achieved? • What have I learnt? • What do I want to stop doing? • What do I want to continue doing? • What would I love to create in my life? • What do I need to do to make that happen and when am I going to do it?

How long is a good length for a detox?

If you can manage a few days you'll really get a lot of benefit from it. Initially it can be hard but once you give up the idea of checking on line all the time you relax into the moment and what you are doing.

However even a day or a few hours in the evening will help. Obviously you won't need to do all the preparation above for a short time.

Switching off a few hours before bedtime will help you sleep.

It might seem crazy even having to discuss this at all but when you look around at people on their phones, even at a dinner table or whilst walking down a busy street you can see how addicted a lot of us are!

Summer time is a perfect time for a digital detox as you are more likely to be going on holiday/ having weekends away. Take advantage of this opportunity and allow yourself the luxury to relax.

  Letting go of what you most want and trusting if it's meant to be it will be, can be HARD!

Many of us are programmed to keep pushing and pushing until it happens.

Releasing attachment to something being a certain way can be a lot easier that it sounds.

However, have you ever noticed the times when you just allowed yourself to surrender, it's suddenly fallen in to place. Perhaps not in the way you imagined but in a way that brings you more joy than you could have imagined.

I have heard many true stories of people "trying" so hard for a baby but then the moment they have stopped it's happened.

The classic example is when someone is looking for a relationship, so desperate that they actually end up repelling rather than attracting.

This area is where Faith really comes into play, whether you believe in God, The Universe, Higher Consciousness and so on, belief in a high power than is working in your favour, wanting you to succeed and putting things in your pathway for your higher good. Surrendering your life to this higher power and having Faith in it's love and support for your life.

Attachment is basically fear, fear of not getting what you want in the specific way that you want it.

Attachment can in fact close off opportunities, as you can become so narrow sighted of it happening in a certain way.

I remember taking part in a course a few years ago, we all had to take on a project, something that was bigger than us and would challenge us. It was a community project, something that would have in impact on a wider scale than just ourselves. We all put our heart and souls in to our projects; we created our visions for them, planned them, recruited teams to help make them happen and then just in the last few weeks we were told to hand to project over to another leader. It was a lesson on being attached.

I loved my project, I was so proud of it, and I loved the fact I had done most of it myself until I had to hand it over! What a lesson that was. What came out of it were fresh eyes, new ideas and an even better event with both two creative minds working on it than just one.

Letting go of attachment is not giving up and doing nothing. It's being in action but without need of it ending in a certain way.

How many people go on first dates and start analysing if they could see themselves "with" the other person for a long time? Even married?

How much pressure is that to put on a date when you have only just met?!

I think this can be why it can be harder to be single when you are older, there is more attachment to it ending in a certain way, your partner being a certain "type", your relationship defined in certain terms.

What if you let go off attachment to how your relationship is going to pan out? The direction of your business? Your role at work? Looking a  certain way?

How would life be?

I suggest taking a few moments out of your day to look at what you are attached to, another way of looking at is by asking your self "what is causing me the most stress and difficulty?". When something is "hard work" there is generally come kind of attachment around it.

Write down how your vision will be when you get it, how you will feel, what you will see, what you will be saying to yourself and others to you. Say a prayer to the Universe/ Angels/ God etc asking for help. Then rip it up, let it go and do something different instead.

Trust in the process of life.

Think back to times when you have felt like this before and recall how it all worked out in the end.

Things are always working out for our highest good, it may not feel like it at the time but there is always a lesson to be learnt and something good always comes eventually even out of the darkest times.

  Sometimes what is good for us is completely the opposite to what we think we want.

I am experiencing this at the moment. As a vinyasa flow yoga teacher, I like quite energetic, dynamic yoga full of sun salutations and asanas that challenge me. Recently I started to see a yoga teacher for 1-1 tuition and mentoring. She has given me the complete opposite, a slow, meditative practice with out a single sun salutation in sight.

It's a challenge, I consciously have to really slow my pace down every morning when I practice but it's making me feel good. I feel calmer, in actual fact I feel exhausted. I think recently I have been rushing around at such a fast pace it's helping me to slow down.

I can think of another time when something unexpected came out of something I didn't want. I had planned to go travelling with a boyfriend, I'd left my work and my home when he ended things. I decided to still go on my own and I can honestly say, thank God he didn't come! It would have been a completely different trip and I don't think it would have worked at all, our personalities travelling would have clashed. That trip transformed my life as it is today, but it might not have done had he have come along.

Life is constantly evolving and when we can learn to just flow with it's twists and turns that is where the magic happens.

Sometimes we think we want something, but that thing is just the same as what we have always done. It's not until we try something new that we can learn and grow. Experiencing something that is opposite to what we normally do, as in the case of my yoga, can bring us into a state of balance rather than extreme in one direction.

A useful (and fun) exercise is to look at your day to day routine and think about what you could change that would be completely different to what you normally do? Just one thing.

No matter how small, just try it and see what happens.

I'd love to hear about it! Comments below please :-)

  Working for yourself is brilliant isn't it? You get to do what you love, when you want and you don't have anyone else to answer to.

It can sometimes not feel that great though. A stretch of no new enquiries, loneliness, a client doing everything they can to delay paying, lack of cash flow, work seeping over into play time.....it can happen to the best of us.

Choosing to work for yourself is never going to be the easy option, your determination and belief in what you are doing has got to be so strong nothing will break it.

It's completely life changing though, I would go as far as saying it's a spiritual experience. Faith in yourself, what you have to offer and in a grander scheme, whether you believe in God, The Universe or what ever, is a requirement.

Through my journey of creating my own business I have had many ups and downs but I've never given up, even when people have suggested maybe I should. I believe in what I do, it's my passion and you just can't beat the feeling when months of hard work are all falling into place.

I am a fan in setting intentions, as well as being similar to your goals they are also a way of focusing on a way of being. This directs how you are acting/ thinking/ speaking in different situations.

Here are my 5 top intentions for staying positive when working for yourself;

1) FAITH - Knowing that what ever happens you will be ok, everything is working out perfectly even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Often we are taken in directions we didn't plan for and feel like it's moving us away from what we really want but have faith it's all just perfect. You will learn what you need to learn at just the right time and what ever happens you will be ok. Everything that happens is for your highest good.

2) PATIENCE - It's easy to want to steam ahead and everything to be achieved right now, how ever sometimes other things need to happen first. Faith and patience go hand in hand. When you try to force something to happen quicker than it should you may actually end up pushing it further away from you. We don't try to pull the daffodils open in Springtime before they are ready do we? Even when we are sick of the cold bleak winter and long for some yellow sunshine in our lives. When they do finally bloom we appreciate them even more.

3) BE OPEN - Pay attention to the people that come into your life, the conversations you hear, the posters you pass by, you just never know what may be put in your path to help you towards what you want to achieve. The universe is abundant, have you ever thought about wanting something and suddenly it's appeared in a way you could not have dreamed of? I know I certainly have. If you walk around with your head down and not interacting with people who cross your path you may miss out.

4) LISTEN - Listen to your inner voice, your gut instinct, it serves you well. Sometimes thoughts suddenly pop in to our minds from nowhere or feelings deep down that can be easy to just brush off if not careful. Learning to follow that instinct and see where it takes you can lead you down path ways you never imagined. Or can keep you safe from situations that are not so good for you.

5) ACKNOWLEDGE - Acknowledge yourself and others. No matter what is going on for you right now celebrate the little things you get done each day, even if all you managed to do was just one small thing on your to do list. Acknowledge all you receive through out a day, a smile, a kind word, an offer of help and express your gratitude to people who show up in your life.  The more you acknowledge and feel gratitude for the more you will notice it.

Working for yourself can feel lonely so it's a good idea to build up a few trusted friends who are also self employed. It really helps to be able to share and support each other on your journeys. A life coach can help you keep on track with your goals too, it's kind of like having your own personal manager to hold you to account, boost your creativity and challenge you when you feel stopped. If you'd like to see how I could help you please do get in touch [email protected]

  Over the years of being a life coach I have learnt that the belief "I'm not good enough" is one of the moment common ones to hold us back.

There is a fear that there are better people out there compared to us.

It's not just not being good enough but even just being enough, having enough, doing enough, saying enough.

In fact maybe this word enough should be BANNED!

Enough compared to what? Where is there a rule book of what is enough?

We are all completely unique individuals with our own special talents, gifts and beautiful qualities. The danger comes when we compare these to others.

We are not designed to be the same. If you put all your energy into forcing yourself to be like someone else, then you are not being true to yourself and you'll only ever be like a copy of them. You'll only ever go as far as they will, which completely cuts off your unique purpose in life.

The crazy thing is the person/ people you are comparing yourself to, will be comparing themselves to someone else, maybe even you.

If we are not careful our life can be driven by feeling incomplete; if we just buy those extra clothes, decorations for the house, go on the latest course then we'll feel satisfied. Do we? It can turn into an on going cycle of more more more but still feeling less.

Your soul is complete right now. You have all you need right now. You are a unique talented special individual that no one else on this planet is like. Isn't that amazing?

Just for a moment, sit down comfortably with your eyes closed and take a few long slow deep breaths. The once you feel your body has settled start to repeat to your self "I am enough, nothing is missing".

Notice how it feels.

It's the truth.

  “Procrastination is the thief of time.”

Edward Young English poet (1683 - 1765)

I am sure I am not the only one who finds themselves some days just faffing around, with no real direction, making cups of tea, hopping from one thing to another but never really getting anything done. We all have days like this, it’s natural and sometimes it’s good just to accept it’s one of those days and allow yourself a break. However when it starts to become more like your reality of every day then you will start to realise how very true Edward Young’s quote really is. Time flies by and if you spend most of it putting things off before you know it you will have let all the things you want to achieve in your life pass you by.

The more you put things off the worse you feel about yourself or the task in hand. You either beat yourself up because you are not on track to achieving your goals or you feel more and more overwhelmed by the task you find most daunting. So why do we do it to ourselves? There are a whole number of reasons that will be personal to you but the most general ones are fear and lack of motivation.

Following are my top 7 tips to overcoming procrastination and getting yourself into action!

1.  Is what you are doing inspiring to you? When doing something that is linked to our highest values (the feelings we want to feel on a daily basis) we have the energy and motivation for it. We will do anything to make it happen as we want to experience what is important to us. If there is no link then you won’t have any drive to make it happen. Look at your to do list and ask yourself, how can this lead me to what I most want? Until you get this your motivation levels are likely to be low.
2. What will be the benefits of getting this task done? What will be the “pain” or consequences if you don’t get it done? Human beings are driven by pleasure and pain, we will do anything to avoid feelings that are painful to us and anything to feel good. When the consequences are bad enough and the benefits are attractive enough you will be driven into action.
3. Overwhelm can lead us to procrastinate so break what you have to get done into small manageable chunks and plan in your diary when you are going to do each bit. Then just pick one thing. One small thing just to get you started. If you do just that then be pleased with yourself, but you never know it might just get you started to carry on with a bit more.
4. Set rewards, if it’s something you really don’t want to do but have to, for the greater cause, then plan to treat yourself afterwards. Do something to reward yourself for getting it out of the way.
5. Pick the thing you are most putting off and do it first. The longer you put something off the bigger it gets in your mind, the more energy you use thinking about it and the more effort it feel like it will be. I have a pet name for these tasks…..monsters! Get your monster done first and then you are free to enjoy the rest of your day. Often they are not that bad anyway, it’s just the thought of doing it that makes it worse than it really is and being in action even though you feel a bit scared is a sure fire way to raise your self confidence.
6. Give yourself a deadline. If the thing you are putting off is not imposed on you by someone else and does not have a deadline then it’s easy to just let it slip. If you really want to get something done with urgency, set yourself a deadline and then tell people close to you about it. Our human nature of wanting to look good to others will then kick in and drive us to want to get it done on time!
7. If there is something continuously on your to do list, something you always set goals around but you just never get there then perhaps it’s time to have a rethink? Do you actually really want to achieve it? Sometimes we set our selves goals around what we think we “should” achieve, based on other peoples values and aspirations. However, these are other people’s dreams and what is right for them might not be want you really want deep down, then you simply won’t have the drive to make it happen. Goals like this are best left to the people whose dreams they are, instead create something for yourself that really gets you excited and inspired.

Finally.... sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself if you are really having "one of those days" is to just go out and do something completely different instead!!! Something that you'd like to that will make you smile and really enjoy doing it. Often when we take the pressure off it happens naturally, our creative juices start to flow and our energy for what ever it is returns. If it doesn't then, as above, is it really something you want to be doing anyway?

Have a great weekend!

Life Coaching

Consciously or unconsciously we all have rules about what has to happen for us to feel good. For us to feel our highest values, those feelings that are more important to us for example:

Love

Honesty

Success

Integrity

Fun

Power

Freedom

Security

Abundance

..........the list is endless, but we all have a few that we'd really like to experience on a daily basis.

Over time we have developed rules of what has to happen for us to feel our values. A good example is love. Take a few minutes now to consider what has to happen for you to feel love. A good starting point is to ask yourself, how do you know when someone loves you?

This is a great exercise to do with a partner, if you have one, or someone you spend a lot of time with that you love, this could be family or friends. Often our rules for feeling loved are very different from each others and you will show you love someone in the way that you experience it. So say you like to be told and your partner likes to know you make time for him/her. Then say you don't have that much time, you have a busy life,  but you make sure you tell him/her that you love them a lot, so they must know right? However, they may not experience that feeling of love because they do not feel like you are making time for them, even though you tell them you love them all the time.

Next think about another of your top values, what has to happen for you to feel that?

Look at your rules; how easy, on a scale of 1-10, have you made it to feel good?

Notice if what has to happen is external from you. Do you need others to tell you? Do you need others to show you? Is your feeling good reliant on what someone else does.

This is the trap we can fall into if we are not careful. We look externally to feel good, when actually we have it all within us to feel how we wish to feel on a daily basis. When you are looking outside, you are giving your power away to others and to circumstance. Plus it's a lot of pressure for the people involved to be responsible for your feelings, only you are and taking control of this gives them freedom too.

It is possible to change your rules, after all you made them up in the first place!! How about making up new rules that make it really easy to feel good when ever you want?

Start them off by saying "Any time I........." Some examples could be:

Any time I think of the people (and animals) I love, I feel loved.

Any time I think of all I have achieved in my life I feel successful.

Any time I walk in outside and pay attention to nature, I feel abundance.

Any time I think of all the options I have and choices I can make I feel freedom.

Any time I think of all I have in my life I feel happy.

Allow yourself time to work through all your highest values in this way and you will be empowering yourself feel good when ever you want!

Have a great weekend.

Life Coaching Willpower

Happy New Year!

I hope you had lovely time over Christmas and the New Year celebrations. I know it's often not the best of times; we are reminded of who is not with us any more, what has not worked out so well over the past year and any kind of other lack can feel like it's put in the spotlight.

The past couple of years have created lots of upheaval and unplanned change for many of us. Through these times though we have grown and have had the opportunity to connect with who we really are and to discover what is important to us. 2013 is a year for love and abundance. Many of us have read about the law of attraction and manifestation over the years, now is the time to use it fully and have the power to create what we want in our lives. Love and abundance are part of the energetic shift that was going on in December, which many people spoke about being the end of the world because the Mayan calender ended. This of course wasn't the case but just an opening for new energy to come down to our planet. It's up to us what we do with it, we can ignore it and carry on as usual or we can choose to utilise it.

Use this brilliant time to be loving to yourself and every being you come in contact with. Use it to set your intentions for the year and to spend time thinking about what you'd like to create in your life. Be aware of not being attached to your dreams, set your desires free and trust what ever happens will be for your highest good.

Around this time of year people think about things they want to give up or begin, i.e. New Year Resolutions! I read in The Metro this week that a study shows that 4 out of 10 people will break any resolutions they set with in 2 weeks! Half of them blame lack of willpower for this.

Willpower muscle

I regard willpower as one of the most important muscles we have. If you work on strengthening it you will be able to achieve anything you put your mind to. Following are my top 5 tips to strengthen your willpower!

1. What ever habit you want to start doing do it for 21 days and it will then become easier. It takes 21 days to create new neural pathways and thus create a habit.
2. Give yourself choice. Spend time to think about what is most important to you in your life, what you are committed to and then when ever you are being tempted ask yourself does it fit in with that? It is in alignment with what you want for your life? If not then you have a choice, you can either do it anyway and accept that you have or you can stick to what is important for you. For example I am committed to being an inspiring yoga teacher for my students, there are some days when I may not be in the mood to practice or perhaps just want to pig out on  unhealthy food. So when faced with temptation I have a choice. More often than not I will choose yoga and a healthy diet but every now and then I choose the latter, and just enjoy it for what it is.
3. Take any negatives out of your language. If you tell yourself "I will not eat chocolate today" your mind does not hear the not! Have you found the nights you go out saying "I'm not going to drink tonight" are the nights you end up with a bad hangover the next morning? Instead tell yourself how you would like to be instead, eg "I fill my body with healthy energising foods" or "I am clear headed, refreshed and revitalised".
4. Freedom is one of my highest values so any kind of discipline used to send me running for the hills. However I have since learnt that discipline is actually the path to true freedom. For example, one aspect of freedom to me is to be able to travel how ever if I am not disciplined with my money and health I won't be able to do that. Following a discipline such as yoga, martial arts, tai chi, meditation will help you to strengthen your willpower, which then gives you the freedom to do what you want in your life.
5. What ever it is you want to do, just start it. Often the biggest set back is getting started but once you have and you build momentum it will become easier.

Willpower notes

Something else I find helpful to keep my intentions in mind is to stick post it notes every where! "I am healthy and full of energy", "I look after myself", "I live every day abundantly", "I am love and courage", "I eat and drink only what is good for me" .....and so on.

Willpower Events

Just to let you know I am running some special offers this month to help you kick start your New Year, click here to see them all.

Love and abundance to you all xx