The Power of Your Thoughts

The Power of your thoughts: Life Coaching

Through the 1990′s Dr Emoto, from Japan, ran a series of studies on the effects of words, prayer and music on water crystals. He filled different containers with water and gave them different labels such as war, peace, love, thank you and you make me sick. He prayed over some and played different types of music to others.

Next he froze them and took photographs of the different crystals that were forms from each container. The effects were incredible, the crystals that had been prayed over, sent love and gratitude to were beautifully formed where as the ones that had been sent words of hatred or simply ignored were fragmented, dark and quite ugly in comparison.

You can read more about and see photos of Dr Emoto’s experiment via his site.

Why is this relevant to us? Well our bodies are made up of about 65% water. If the water crystals react so differently to different thoughts, sounds and prayers imagine what happens to us humans?

I attended a brilliant course last week called An Audience with Charisma, the creator of it Nikki Owen has devised an experiment for us all to test the water crystal theory. It’s called The Big Apple Experiment. You cut an apple in half, put one half in a jar labelled HATE and another labelled LOVE. For the next week or so send love and hate/frustration/fear/guilt to each respective jar, then check out the results. It’s really quite amazing.

Why apples? They have the same amount of water in them as we do.

I am currently doing my Big Apple Experiment and will post photos of the results when I have finished.

What you say to others and yourself has an impact on a deep level. Take care of your thoughts and words.

xx

 

Words to Watch Out For!

  Our human mind is very quick to make us feel bad about ourselves if we are not careful. You would think we would only nurture and say kind things to ourselves but sadly this is not always the case. We can have a tendency to knock ourselves when we are down. Simply being aware of this and watching out for a few sneaky words that creep in and made us feel bad can change all this though.

Following are a few words and phrases to watch out for;

IF; “If only it had been different”, “If only I hadn’t done X” If only keeps us stuck in the past. “What if X happens” is where our mind is running of into the future worrying about the “what if’s”when they haven’t even happened yet and may never do. It’s a really waste of our energy, right now is where we create our future so instead focus on what you can do in the moment to steer you in the right direction.

Should/Ought; When I am coaching someone as soon as I hear the word should, I hear alarm bells. Anytime you feel like you “should” do something it’s usually when you are trying to live by someone else’s values. What your friends would do or your parents think you ought to. It will always condemn you as to do something that is important to someone else but not yourself will never feel right, your motivation to succeed won’t really be there and you could be setting yourself up for failure. Instead look to what you really want, how you feel is right to behave and follow that. Only you know what is best for you and it doesn’t have to be the same as those around you.

Enough; “ I'm not good enough”, “I am not slim enough”, “I am not good looking enough”, “I don’t have enough”. Compared to what? The word enough leaves you feeling in a world of lack. Instead focus on what you do have, what you are grateful for and all your great qualities you have to offer.

Always/Never; “I always”, “I never”, these two sayings provide such an easy justification to keep behaving the way you are and to condemn others. It’s not true and we are not that consistent.

Can’t; This little word cuts of possibility, anytime you find yourself using the phrase “I can’t” ask instead “How can I?”.

Therefore/which means; Our human minds automatically search for the meaning of any event, and often when we are not given the meaning we make it up. However it is not always the truth! EG “He didn’t call which means I did something wrong/ he doesn’t like me/ there is something wrong with me”. “I did not help that old lady across the road therefore I am a bad person” “I got cross with my child therefore I am a bad mother”. Be careful of the assumptions you make they are not always accurate and we are very quick to make an event mean something bad about ourselves.

When X happens then I will be X; “When I get my pay rise then I will be happy”, “When I get on holiday then I will relax”. How about if you were to be happy or relaxed right now? Don’t put off your feelings to a later date, it may never happen. Pay attention to the things you say to yourself and make sure they support you rather than setting yourself up to feel bad.

Create Yourself....Every Day!

I was walking around the Holy Lake at Pushkar, Rajasthan a few days ago and a Holy man started to talk to me. At the end of our conversation I said to him "Have a Good Day!", to which he replied "Every day is a good day, it's just the mind that makes it bad". It was such a great line and so true. How we feel day to day is up to us. How we react, feel and be in each situation is our choice. We have the ability to create how we are going to be every minute of the day. What do I mean by this? Well, in any situation you have the power to ask yourself how you want to be, what personality trait do you want to use, what action you want to take. You have every quality you need within, you do not need to look outside to find it. Happiness, peace, love, compassion, excitement, passion, confidence......it's all in there. So often we look outside ourselves to find ourselves, but it's already there you just have to focus on it and choose it. Any time you can draw upon your inner resources and choose how you react and be.

At some level you create what you experience, what you think about becomes your reality. There would have been a time when you decided you didn't like something, that it upset you and from then on it will have continued to. This will carry on until you change your way of thinking.

To make a change first of you you have to accept it, accept that at some level you will have chosen to feel this way and then acknowledge that it doesn't work for you any more. In the past it may have served you to feel this way but right now it no longer does.

Then ask yourself how do you want to be in the world, how do you want to show up to yourself and others. What way of being would serve you well right now.

Next focus on this, draw upon your inner resources and set your intention to be the way you choose right now.

An example could be in a situation that makes you angry, in the past you may have chosen to fight back, to shout, to get aggressive and may be back then this worked well for you. However if being this way no longer serves you, if it doesn't work for you to lash out at people think about how you would like to be instead. Then focus on being that way instead. Just see how it works for you.

George Bernard Shaw once said "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself". This is exactly what I am saying here. You already have everything you need within and you have the power to choose what you feel, do, be and have every single moment of the day. Our company Create Yourself aims to help you and empower you to create a life you love and be your true magnificent Self.

Enjoy Creating Yourself every single day!

My Creed To Live By

  Over the years I have collected a set of positive beliefs to support me living my life day by day, following are a few of my favourite ones!

My Creed to Live By
Everyone interprets their experience of the world through their own filters, based on their past, beliefs, and values. Based on this there is no right or wrong, only the meaning you attach to it.Everyone one is doing the best they can with what they have got in that moment. Every action starts off with a good intention behind it.

Your body and mind are connected, working together as one system. Look after your body and you will look after your mind.

Uncertainty is where the magic happens, it’s where we grow and discover resources within us we never knew existed. Life would be very boring if everything stayed the same.

The more you look to be grateful for the more you have to be grateful about.

Give up the need to be right, it will help to open your mind and your heart.

You are more likely to regret the things you didn’t do, rather than the things you did. Life is short, live your dreams.Kindness and love are like boomerangs, the more you give out the more you get back.

Your life is happening right now, in this very moment. Don’t waste energy thinking about the past and worrying about what might happen. Right now is where you are creating your future.

You always have a choice how you wish to feel and live your life. Blame and justification takes your power away, look where you can take responsibility and make the changes you require.

Will power is like a muscle, strengthen it and it will help you to achieve anything.

Remember to breathe. The simple process of taking long slow deep breaths to the pit of your tummy will calm your mind.

Only ever work towards your own goals, never anything you feel you “should” do.

Anytime you compare yourself to others you are limiting your experience of life, everyone has their own unique path and yours is to be discovered by following your heart not by what others are doing.

Only you know what you need and what is best for you.

Where you are at right now is perfect. Whatever happens is exactly as it’s meant to be and you will be ok.

HAPPY 2012! xxxx

How to have a great Christmas with less money!

I am sure there are quite a few people out there who are feeling a little daunted by Christmas this year in the current economic climate. It seems many of us are being careful with our purse strings at the moment and Christmas couldn't have fallen at a worse time. However it may seem Christmas isn't about money at all, it originated to celebrate the birthday of Jesus and whether you are religious or not it’s a time for love and connection. Over the years Christmas has come a bigger and bigger commercial opportunity, from early November we start to be bombarded with adverts for the best gifts to give, people become competitive about their decorations, the food we cook needs to be the finest and so on. Is this all really necessary though to show people we care? Not really.

Following are my top tips to have a Christmas with not much money!

1) Make hampers. A great friend of mine once was a bit cash poor one Christmas and decided to make homemade food hampers for all her family. She made delicious homemade chutneys, sauces and even truffles. They really went down a hit.

2) Invite people over and ask everyone to bring a dish, one New Year’s Eve a friend hosted a great party were we all brought a different course. We all really enjoyed contributing and sampling each other’s delights.

3) Agree a budget with everyone or even agree on no presents this year; lots of people are in the same situation this year so you might actually be helping ease each other’s minds by suggesting it.

4) Make your own Christmas cards, spending some time switching off from usual everyday stuff and being creative is great fun. Plus people really appreciate time spent on anything homemade. Stock up on glitter, ribbons and stick on stars and enjoy!!

5) Put aside thoughts of what to buy and think about how to show your love. How can you tell the people you care about the most you love them? Letters, conversations, sharing memories and what someone means to you, photographs, making time for them all spring to mind.

6) If you can’t give with money what about gifts with your time, what could you offer to help someone with? What could you arrange to do with them that would be meaningful? People tend to remember experiences more than material possessions.

7) Volunteer to help people who have less than you, for example the homeless charity Crisis UK opens Christmas centres across London and Newcastle from 22-30 December that offer vital companionship, hot meals and warmth, and a wide range of essential services that homeless people often miss out on. See the time bank website for more details.

8) Make the most of your time off work, allow yourself to stop, switch off and relax. It’s a great time to reflect on the year gone by, what you have learnt and what you would like to do next year. Open this conversation up to others, there will be an opportunity to learn from each other and share your dreams, which will put them into reality and help to make them happen.

Showing you love someone doesn't have to cost money and often the things that touch our hearts the most are actions and words which are priceless.

Happy Christmas!

Synchronicity; Living Life in the Flow

  The Celestine Prophecy was the first inspirational, spiritual type book I ever read. It was one of those “in” books that you saw every other traveller on the beach reading back then. One concept that I loved from that book was about synchronicity. Synchronicity is when you are really living life in the flow, things are going well, you are noticing opportunities that present themselves and embracing them. An example of this is when you think of a person and then they suddenly get in touch or you bump into them. The idea is that there are no coincidences but people and opportunities are put in your way for a reason. When you are aware of this you learn to pay attention to the people and situations that come into your life and allow yourself to learn from them.

I had an experience of just this about 6 years ago, I bumped into a man I had met in a club a few months before who I had not really wanted to see again, simply because I thought we would have nothing in common. As I really believe you don’t just see people again for no reason I went up to him to say hello. The result of this was over a few months he introduced me to personal development, which I fell in love with and then decided to be a coach! Who knows if I had not gone up to him that day I might not be writing this article today. Meeting him really did change my life, and to think I could have easily ran off in the other direction!

There are a few things that block our lives from being open to our lives just flowing like this;

1) Resistance; this is another word for fear. Fear of change and uncertainty is something that can keep us stuck in the same place doing the same things for years. We make excuses and justifications of why we don’t go for what we really want deep down. This blocks the energy and gets in the way of noticing ways to make your life how you would love it to be. 2) Need for control; we have a habit of wanting to plan and control everything. Whilst goals are good to visualise what you want and attract opportunities to make them happen you can also be too attached to them if you are not careful. Then you feel upset if they don’t happen. We really don’t know what is around the next corner and it’s wise to learn to feel stable within uncertainty. We grow and develop new personal qualities in uncertainty, it’s an exciting time. Meditation helps to create inner strength to cope with any situation; you can get over fear and find happiness and energy when you allow yourself just to be in the flow. I have had many goals where I haven’t known how I will achieve them and then a few months later I look back and realise I did but in a completely different way to what I had planned.

3) Expectation; this is really another form of control, we set expectations of how a situation should be or how a person should behave then we get upset then it doesn’t happen that way. Everyone has their own way of doing things and their own freedom; it’s unfair to put expectations on them. Allow people just to be themselves and just focus on being your amazing self.

In this moment is where the magic happens, pay attention to it, notice opportunities and look out for what you can learn.

The Joy of Travelling on Your Own

More and more people now go for holidays on their own, to have their own little adventure or simply just to have some down time to themselves. If it is something you have not done before it can seem bit daunting though and not very appealing. I love holidays with friends or family but have had some of the best experiences and have made great new friends when I have gone away by myself. It can really push you out of your comfort zone which is always a good thing to open your mind and boost your confidence. If you are in two minds about whether to go it alone here are my top benefits for travelling alone: 1. You are totally free and independent. You can do what you want when you want. It also means you have to make your own decisions. If you are someone who often needs to consult others before deciding what to do it will help you flex that muscle of trusting yourself and what you want.

2. You meet more people when you are on your own. Whenever I have travelled alone I have never actually been alone for very long as you meet people where ever you go. If you find it hard to meet new people this will be great practise for you in small talk and creating new friendships. Plus the types of people you meet are so diverse you are likely to meet different personalities than you already have in your everyday life. This helps you to see new perspectives and opens your mind to new ways of thinking.

3. You might feel a bit scared; if you have not travelled alone you will be pushed out of your comfort zone. Eating alone, taking an overnight train trip, turning up to a new place without accommodation, booking a local tour not knowing where you are going, getting a bus and not knowing what stop to get off at…..are all examples of things you might not be used to. Doing things that scare you a bit will boost your self-confidence and belief that you can cope with anything. We don’t develop so much when we stay in our comfort zone doing the same things day in day out.

4. You find yourself in situations you never imagined (for example getting up at 4am with a group of people you just met to walk through jungle, hike up a rock face with no safety equipment to a tiny Indian temple to watch the sunrise to then climb down and all have a lovely milky sweet chai tea together) and once home you will look back with fond memories and a huge sense of achievement.

5. You are totally free to do what you want and be yourself. You don’t have to do anything you feel like you “should”, to live up to the expectations of others, you are simply free to be you. This should be the case day to day anyway but unfortunately our minds tend to get caught up with comparing ourselves and pleasing others.

6. You immerse yourself in different cultures which open your mind and help you to see life from new perspectives.

7. It gives you time and space to think and evaluate. Time away from your everyday life and people gives you a chance to see your life from a new perspective, you don’t have other people’s opinions swaying you. You are free to work out what you want from your life all on your own. Which is great as it will be what you really want 100%.

If you are thinking of going off travelling some websites I recommend are:

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/ http://www.travelfish.org/ http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ http://www.makemytrip.com/

Have fun! For 1-1 confidence coaching please contact Louise at [email protected]

Featured by: