Life Coaching
Consciously or unconsciously we all have rules about what has to happen for us to feel good. For us to feel our highest values, those feelings that are more important to us for example:
Love
Honesty
Success
Integrity
Fun
Power
Freedom
Security
Abundance
..........the list is endless, but we all have a few that we'd really like to experience on a daily basis.
Over time we have developed rules of what has to happen for us to feel our values. A good example is love. Take a few minutes now to consider what has to happen for you to feel love. A good starting point is to ask yourself, how do you know when someone loves you?
This is a great exercise to do with a partner, if you have one, or someone you spend a lot of time with that you love, this could be family or friends. Often our rules for feeling loved are very different from each others and you will show you love someone in the way that you experience it. So say you like to be told and your partner likes to know you make time for him/her. Then say you don't have that much time, you have a busy life, but you make sure you tell him/her that you love them a lot, so they must know right? However, they may not experience that feeling of love because they do not feel like you are making time for them, even though you tell them you love them all the time.
Next think about another of your top values, what has to happen for you to feel that?
Look at your rules; how easy, on a scale of 1-10, have you made it to feel good?
Notice if what has to happen is external from you. Do you need others to tell you? Do you need others to show you? Is your feeling good reliant on what someone else does.
This is the trap we can fall into if we are not careful. We look externally to feel good, when actually we have it all within us to feel how we wish to feel on a daily basis. When you are looking outside, you are giving your power away to others and to circumstance. Plus it's a lot of pressure for the people involved to be responsible for your feelings, only you are and taking control of this gives them freedom too.
It is possible to change your rules, after all you made them up in the first place!! How about making up new rules that make it really easy to feel good when ever you want?
Start them off by saying "Any time I........." Some examples could be:
Any time I think of the people (and animals) I love, I feel loved.
Any time I think of all I have achieved in my life I feel successful.
Any time I walk in outside and pay attention to nature, I feel abundance.
Any time I think of all the options I have and choices I can make I feel freedom.
Any time I think of all I have in my life I feel happy.
Allow yourself time to work through all your highest values in this way and you will be empowering yourself feel good when ever you want!
Have a great weekend.
