The Power of Your Thoughts

The Power of your thoughts: Life Coaching

Through the 1990′s Dr Emoto, from Japan, ran a series of studies on the effects of words, prayer and music on water crystals. He filled different containers with water and gave them different labels such as war, peace, love, thank you and you make me sick. He prayed over some and played different types of music to others.

Next he froze them and took photographs of the different crystals that were forms from each container. The effects were incredible, the crystals that had been prayed over, sent love and gratitude to were beautifully formed where as the ones that had been sent words of hatred or simply ignored were fragmented, dark and quite ugly in comparison.

You can read more about and see photos of Dr Emoto’s experiment via his site.

Why is this relevant to us? Well our bodies are made up of about 65% water. If the water crystals react so differently to different thoughts, sounds and prayers imagine what happens to us humans?

I attended a brilliant course last week called An Audience with Charisma, the creator of it Nikki Owen has devised an experiment for us all to test the water crystal theory. It’s called The Big Apple Experiment. You cut an apple in half, put one half in a jar labelled HATE and another labelled LOVE. For the next week or so send love and hate/frustration/fear/guilt to each respective jar, then check out the results. It’s really quite amazing.

Why apples? They have the same amount of water in them as we do.

I am currently doing my Big Apple Experiment and will post photos of the results when I have finished.

What you say to others and yourself has an impact on a deep level. Take care of your thoughts and words.

xx

 

Learn to Accept Yourself

  Over the past 8 years of being an image consultant there are three common things I have noticed that we humans often to do at least one of when looking in a mirror;

1. We focus on the bits of ourselves that we don’t like

2. We think we look bigger than we actually are

3. We have a tendency think we are not good enough

Most of this is to do with comparing ourselves with others. We notice other people’s good bits and revert back to thinking about our perceived “bad” bits. The bits we don’t like about ourselves we look out for in others and they always seem to look better.

For example if you don’t like your bum, you will be constantly checking out everyone else’s behinds to see how they compare to yours. However if you are happy with that area you probably never look!

Ultimately people are so concerned with how they look they probably won’t even notice the parts you dislike about yourself.

I am often surprised to find when I ask my clients to tell me one thing they like about themselves, many struggle. Even when I have met people with model looks there is always something not right.

What if you were to purely focus on what you did like?

We are all different, we all have our own unique beauty……after all wouldn’t it be dull if we all looked the same?! Attractiveness is purely subjective, what I may find beautiful may not be your cup of tea.

Could you imagine the chaos if we all were attracted to the same things?!

Plus it’s not just about how you look, it’s the way you move, the way you speak, your personality and also your chemistry with who you come in contact with.

By truly accepting yourself you learn to appreciate all your great bits, make the most of who you really are and stop all that negative self-talk that just puts you down.

You are amazing, inside and out. Other people know this; it’s time to appreciate it yourself.

My mission for you this month is to;

1) Whenever you look in the mirror pay attention to what you like about yourself.

2) Ask yourself “how can I draw attention to the bits I like?” You can do this with colour, make up, hair, extra details, lines of clothing, having that area on display (for example your legs or arms) and so on.

3) Every time someone says something nice to you, accept the compliment (we have a bad habit of dismissing compliments sometimes!) and if this really is a challenge for you write it down as well. Collect compliments and refer back to them when you are feeling low! To learn full how to make the most of your body, wear the most flattering styles and colours for you please contact me at [email protected]

Words to Watch Out For!

  Our human mind is very quick to make us feel bad about ourselves if we are not careful. You would think we would only nurture and say kind things to ourselves but sadly this is not always the case. We can have a tendency to knock ourselves when we are down. Simply being aware of this and watching out for a few sneaky words that creep in and made us feel bad can change all this though.

Following are a few words and phrases to watch out for;

IF; “If only it had been different”, “If only I hadn’t done X” If only keeps us stuck in the past. “What if X happens” is where our mind is running of into the future worrying about the “what if’s”when they haven’t even happened yet and may never do. It’s a really waste of our energy, right now is where we create our future so instead focus on what you can do in the moment to steer you in the right direction.

Should/Ought; When I am coaching someone as soon as I hear the word should, I hear alarm bells. Anytime you feel like you “should” do something it’s usually when you are trying to live by someone else’s values. What your friends would do or your parents think you ought to. It will always condemn you as to do something that is important to someone else but not yourself will never feel right, your motivation to succeed won’t really be there and you could be setting yourself up for failure. Instead look to what you really want, how you feel is right to behave and follow that. Only you know what is best for you and it doesn’t have to be the same as those around you.

Enough; “ I'm not good enough”, “I am not slim enough”, “I am not good looking enough”, “I don’t have enough”. Compared to what? The word enough leaves you feeling in a world of lack. Instead focus on what you do have, what you are grateful for and all your great qualities you have to offer.

Always/Never; “I always”, “I never”, these two sayings provide such an easy justification to keep behaving the way you are and to condemn others. It’s not true and we are not that consistent.

Can’t; This little word cuts of possibility, anytime you find yourself using the phrase “I can’t” ask instead “How can I?”.

Therefore/which means; Our human minds automatically search for the meaning of any event, and often when we are not given the meaning we make it up. However it is not always the truth! EG “He didn’t call which means I did something wrong/ he doesn’t like me/ there is something wrong with me”. “I did not help that old lady across the road therefore I am a bad person” “I got cross with my child therefore I am a bad mother”. Be careful of the assumptions you make they are not always accurate and we are very quick to make an event mean something bad about ourselves.

When X happens then I will be X; “When I get my pay rise then I will be happy”, “When I get on holiday then I will relax”. How about if you were to be happy or relaxed right now? Don’t put off your feelings to a later date, it may never happen. Pay attention to the things you say to yourself and make sure they support you rather than setting yourself up to feel bad.

Importance of Eating in Season

  Eating healthy can seem overwhelming. We are bombarded with all or nothing messages like “you must eat organic all the time” or “you must eat only foods in season.” While these are great goals, eating healthy doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition. And while the importance of eating in season can’t be denied, it’s actually pretty easy to do.

In our world of global commerce, where we can get just about any food at any time of the year, why would we need to eat a certain food just because it’s in season? Isn’t everything in season at one time or another someplace? What is the importance of eating in season? Why does it matter?

Why seasonal eating is important

First of all there is the taste, when you eat foods that are in season they just taste better. Think about eating a tomato straight off the vine from the garden, or picking a ripe plum from the branches of a plum tree and eating it straight away. The flavors are so intense it’s almost decadent. It’s because you are eating these fruits when they are ripe and in season, when they are at their healthiest. And when fruits and vegetables are at their healthiest, they are also at their tastiest.

Next there is the nutrition, when you eat fruits and vegetables that are in season they provide more nutrients than at any other time. When produce is picked before it’s completely ripe because it has to travel to the store, it loses some of its nutritional value. Further, transporting produce sometimes requires irradiation (zapping the produce with a burst of radiation to kill germs) and preservatives (such as wax) to protect the produce, which is subsequently refrigerated during the trip. Neither of these procedures improves the fruit or vegetable’s nutritional value.

Finally there is the economics of eating in season. It’s cheaper. When produce is in season locally, the relative abundance of the crop usually makes it less expensive. It’s the basic law of supply and demand, and when crops are in season you’ll be rewarded financially by purchasing what’s growing now. And if it’s in season where you live, transporting the item to your store will be shorter, and less expensive. Ideally having your own personal vegetable garden and fruit orchard on your property would be the cheapest way to go but since that’s probably not feasible, a short trip to the store or farmer’s market for both you and the produce is not nearly as pricey as importing an item from across the world.

How to eat seasonally

Obviously in different parts of the world, different foods will be in season at different times. This holds true even within the UK: London has a different growing season than say Manchester. But there are some general guidelines you can follow to ensure optimal nutrition and taste in every season:

• In spring, focus on tender, leafy vegetables such as Swiss chard, spinach, Romaine lettuce, fresh parsley, and basil.

• In summer, stick with light, juicy foods including strawberries, apples, pears, and plums; vegetables like summer squash, broccoli, cauliflower, and corn; and spices and seasonings like peppermint and coriander are all great summer choices.

• In fall, the autumn harvest foods such as carrots, sweet potatoes, onions, and garlic are the best choices. The best spices and seasonings are things like ginger, peppercorns, and mustard seeds.

• In winter, root vegetables are the best choices including potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips and beets.

Sometimes eating healthy can be intimidating. You want to do the right thing, but when we are told to do so, you “must only eat foods that are in season”, well, that can be downright daunting. Fortunately healthy eating is not an all or nothing proposition; you aren’t going to compromise your health if you eat a tomato from Spain in January. So don’t stress about eating the occasional out of season fruit or vegetable (hey, you’re eating fruits and vegetables). But if you generally try to eat foods that are in season where you live, you will not only be rewarded with better nutrition but also taste and perhaps a little extra change in your wallet.

The Power of Colour

In my earlier post this month about What is Reiki? I detailed the different energy centres called Chakra's we have running through our bodies. Each Chakra has a different function or effect on our body, mind and emotions. For example our heart chakra links to how open our heart is to give and receive love, how we are around relationships and how compassionate we are. There is a colour associated with each Chakra and you can utilize these colours through what you wear to bring your attention to what area you would like to focus on, heal and express to the world. Using the example of the heart Chakra, wearing the colours green or pink, especially around your heart will help to heal and open your heart to love. Rose Quartz, Aventurine and Malachite crystal pendants are perfect for this.

Following are a list of the seven Chakra's, their corresponding colours and how to translate them into what you wear:

1. Root - Security, fear, survival, grounding and physical energy. Brown or Red. Brown is psychologically seen as a very grounding earthy colour. Wear red to overcome fear and demonstrate your power and self confidence.

2. Sacral - Action, sexuality, peace and creativity. Orange for creativity, peace and energy (action) and Red for sexuality.

3. Solar Plexus - Emotion, power, wisdom and action. Yellow is well known for being a happy colour, try wearing a yellow top and be miserable! People tend to react positively when they see someone wearing yellow, it's a natural response.

4. Heart - Love compassion, life force and relationship. Green and Pink. Pink it well known for romance, femininity and love.

5. Throat - Self expression, creative energy and sound. Blue, it's such a calming colour and turquoise is great if you are in a situation where you want to ensure you communication is clear.

6. Brow/ Third Eye (inbetween eyebrows) - Intuition, intelligence, light and telepathy. Purple is seen as a spiritual colour, also as one of royalty. Amethyst is a great stone to wear to calm the mind, remove headaches and help you sleep.

7. Crown - Spiritual vision, enlightenment and positive energy. White for it's purity and it's perceived links with spirituality.

 

 

What to Eat Before and After Exercise

We all know that exercise is the key to good health. But did you know that what you eat before and after exercise has a major impact on how effective your exercise is? Ensuring you get proper nutrition pre and post workout can make all the difference. So, what should you eat before and exercise? It really depends on what kind of exerciser you are: it depends on whether you are a “first thing in the morning” kind of exerciser or “right before bed” or somewhere in between. However, it’s important to understand that there is no right or wrong time to exercise. It’s really what works best in your schedule, what is a routine you can stick with; that’s the best time to exercise for you. For Early Morning Exercisers:

If you’re the kind of person who likes to get up and get your workout in before the day gets in your way, then you may find it difficult to eat something so early. The good news is you don’t have to eat a lot to get a lot of benefit. You just need enough carbohydrates to give you the energy you need for a good workout. Think about it, your body hasn’t had any fuel for at least eight hours; it needs a little something to get it going or you may just end up back in bed. Some good options include:

• If you're exercising within an hour after you wake up, eat around 100-200 (carbohydrate-rich) calories. • Avoid too much fat or protein, since these take longer to digest and can make you feel sluggish during your workout. • Best bets: Whole grain bagel, handful of raisins, banana, fruit juice, toast, crackers, or drinkable yogurt.

For Lunchtime Exercisers:

Working out at lunchtime is a great “pick me up.” It refreshes your mind and body for the afternoon ahead. However, by lunchtime, breakfast is probably a faint memory. In order to avoid hunger pains and fatigue during your noon workout, keep in mind the following:

• One or two hours before your workout, eat a balanced meal that's around 300-400 calories. • Avoid high fat and/or high protein foods, and stick with something that has around 60% carbs, 20% protein and 20% fat. • Best bets: Yogurt, fruit (fresh or dried), or a small bowl of oatmeal, slice of wheat bread with peanut butter.

For After Work Exercisers:

Working out after work is one of the best ways to finish out your day and it definitely makes you less hungry for dinner. But remember, lunch was a long time ago and chances are your body needs some refueling. So before you grab a candy bar on the way out of the office, remember:

• 2-3 hours before you leave work, eat a small, balanced meal that's around 400-500 calories. • Best bets: cheese and crackers, cottage cheese and veggies, fruit with a whole grain muffin, peanut butter/jam sandwich on whole grain bread.

For After Dinner Exercisers:

Admittedly for many of us, squeezing in exercise at the end of the day is really the only time we can. But that’s ok, there’s something so relaxing about going for a run after dinner or a nice long bike ride or taking a yoga class. The concern here is that you’ll be too full to have a really good workout. You just have to plan ahead and remember:

• Wait at least 1 hour after dinner before you exercise (and at least 2 hours before bedtime or you won’t be able to sleep). • Split your dinner in half so you eat half before you exercise and the other half after. • Make dinner one of your smallest meals of the day (making lunch biggest) so you won’t have too much food on your stomach.

Post workout nutrition

So now that you’ve had a great workout, you’re done, right? No, you need to refuel your body. In order for your body to recover, build muscle and metabolise fat, you need to properly refuel your body after you exercise.

People mistakenly think that by not eating after they exercise their body will use stored fat for fuel. This isn’t true. While your body will dip into its glucose stores and perhaps use some stored fat as fuel, it isn’t efficient and as a result you won’t be burning as many calories as you could.

Muscle cells burn more calories at rest, just existing, than fat cells. So the more muscle you have on your body, the more calories your body burns just being. So if you don’t feed your muscles after a workout they won’t grow. So basically, by not refueling, you’ll be missing out. You’ll be leaving money on the table, or in this case, leaving calories unburned.

So, eat within one hour after your workout for best muscle recovery. Your post workout meal should include both protein and carbohydrate. The protein repairs muscle tissues that have been torn during the workout and carbohydrate refuels muscle glycogen that has been used for fuel during the workout. Good options include:

• Skimmed milk, yoghurt and fruit • Toasted muffin or whole grain bread with egg or peanut butter • ½ small pot of cottage cheese with fruit. • Cheese and crackers • Nuts and dried fruit • A “regular” meal with a protein, starch, and cooked vegetable or salad

You've made the effort to exercise on a regular basis. Don’t make those workouts be in vain: feed your body properly and you will see much better results. Remember to eat small, complex carbohydrate-rich foods at least 1-2 hrs before exercising, avoid eating too much protein or fat before you workout, eat protein and carbohydrates to refuel after you exercise and of course, always drink plenty of water so your body can properly digest those important nutrients.

 

Create Yourself....Every Day!

I was walking around the Holy Lake at Pushkar, Rajasthan a few days ago and a Holy man started to talk to me. At the end of our conversation I said to him "Have a Good Day!", to which he replied "Every day is a good day, it's just the mind that makes it bad". It was such a great line and so true. How we feel day to day is up to us. How we react, feel and be in each situation is our choice. We have the ability to create how we are going to be every minute of the day. What do I mean by this? Well, in any situation you have the power to ask yourself how you want to be, what personality trait do you want to use, what action you want to take. You have every quality you need within, you do not need to look outside to find it. Happiness, peace, love, compassion, excitement, passion, confidence......it's all in there. So often we look outside ourselves to find ourselves, but it's already there you just have to focus on it and choose it. Any time you can draw upon your inner resources and choose how you react and be.

At some level you create what you experience, what you think about becomes your reality. There would have been a time when you decided you didn't like something, that it upset you and from then on it will have continued to. This will carry on until you change your way of thinking.

To make a change first of you you have to accept it, accept that at some level you will have chosen to feel this way and then acknowledge that it doesn't work for you any more. In the past it may have served you to feel this way but right now it no longer does.

Then ask yourself how do you want to be in the world, how do you want to show up to yourself and others. What way of being would serve you well right now.

Next focus on this, draw upon your inner resources and set your intention to be the way you choose right now.

An example could be in a situation that makes you angry, in the past you may have chosen to fight back, to shout, to get aggressive and may be back then this worked well for you. However if being this way no longer serves you, if it doesn't work for you to lash out at people think about how you would like to be instead. Then focus on being that way instead. Just see how it works for you.

George Bernard Shaw once said "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself". This is exactly what I am saying here. You already have everything you need within and you have the power to choose what you feel, do, be and have every single moment of the day. Our company Create Yourself aims to help you and empower you to create a life you love and be your true magnificent Self.

Enjoy Creating Yourself every single day!

Ditch The Mirror!

  Over the past couple of months travelling around India I have hardly seen myself in a full length mirror, there have been a few days with out even seeing what my face looks like! My experience of this is that it is really liberating not having a clue what you look like. You get up in the morning, put on the clothes you feel drawn to wearing and then for the rest of the day you fully forget what you look like. You feel how you feel inside rather that letting what you see you look like on the outside dictate how you feel.

Sometimes it’s easy to look in a mirror and focus on what you don’t like. I know this is common as for the past 8 years being an image consultant most of the clients I meet do this. I have also toured UK conducting style consultations in shopping centres and when I ask people to tell me one thing they like about themselves they often get stuck. They can of course tell me what they don’t like.

Then you get stuck on what you don’t like and that is all you focus on.

Of course it’s easy when you are travelling to not have to care to much what you look like. Back at home going into work is a different matter. We need to create a good impression and show that we care enough about ourselves and our career to make an effort. However it is easy to get caught up in looking in the mirror way more than we really need to.

We check ourselves out when we go to the toilet, in shop mirrors, in passing windows, in hand mirror and so on. Is this really good for us? It can become an obsession, focusing so much on how we look on the outside and thinking that has something to do with how good a person we are, how we compare to others and how confident we feel in our self.

 

How we look is not really who we are. Our ego (or mind) gets attached to our body, what shape it is, how thin it is and we start to define ourselves through how we look. But our true Self is what is inside. Happiness, contentment, peace, self confidence all comes from with in. Just not looking in the mirror so much will help to detach from thinking too much about how we look and thinking it makes us who we are.

I am not saying we ditch mirrors altogether, like I said above there are times when we need to create a good impression and also making the most of how we are naturally does help to raise our self confidence. I just think it’s about getting a balance. Dress in a way that you know suits you and then minimize checking a mirror so often. Just try it and see how it feels.

 

I am going to be out of the country until June 2012, if you have any questions about image at all or would like to book something for when I get back please email me on [email protected].

Why You Should Be Lifting Weights

  Posted by Louise but written by Michael!

Let’s be honest, if given the choice, chances are you’re always going to pick cardio for your workout. Why should you be lifting weights? Cardio is where the real calorie burn is, right? Yes it’s true; cardio is a great good way to burn lots of calories fast. And when we hit the gym, or the road, or whatever form your exercise takes, we all want to burn calories. But what if there were a way to burn more calories all day long? A way to ensure every workout you got was a calorie burner? It’s possible and it’s why you should be lifting weights.

Cardio activities like running are definitely going to torch a ton of calories in a short period of time. But lifting weights allows your body to burn more calories for a longer period of time. Lifting weights builds muscles and muscles burn more calories than fat at rest. So the more muscle tissue you have in your body, the more calories your body is burning all the time, whether it’s a during a quick run or lying on the sofa.

Besides helping you to become a much more effective calorie-burning machine, lifting weights and building muscles are helpful to all systems in your body.

 

Other reasons why you should be lifting weights:

• Protects your joints and back. The more muscles you have the more power and strength you have to lift objects. That means you are putting less strain on your joints and back.

• Helps fight free radicals. Research has shown that when individuals lift weights on a regular basis, they have less damage to their body from free radicals than sedentary individuals.

• Strengthens your bones. Lifting weights allows your bones to grow. By lifting weights you put pressure on your bones and surrounding muscles, which increases your bone mineral density. This higher level of BMD is what prevents osteoporosis. Studies have shown that resistance training can even repair bones that have already seen significant bone loss.

• Improves your looks. Lean muscle tissue just looks better than fat. It’s tighter and smoother than fat, which tends to be lumpy and sag.

• Makes you feel great! Besides looking better, when you lift weights you’ll feel better too. All those endorphins you are releasing through exercise boosts your mood. And then when you look in the mirror your positive feelings will be validated.

Leafy Green Vegetables: Powerfully Healthy

Imagine a food so powerful that it can help you lose weight, reduce your risk of cancer, make you look younger, strengthen your bones and has been purported to even help you live longer? Imagine if this food tasted good, was readily available and relatively inexpensive. No need to imagine, it’s reality. I’m talking about leafy green vegetables. These powerfully healthy vegetables put the super in superfoods. These remarkable green veggies come across as quite unassuming but they are packed with healthy nutrients. In fact dark green leafy vegetables are, calorie for calorie, the most concentrated source of nutrition of pretty much any food out there. Vitamins A, C, E and K are found in salad greens, kale and spinach. Broccoli, bok choy and mustard greens also have many of the B complex vitamins. They also contain Omega-3 fatty acids, fiber and calcium.

Sure leafy green veggies are full of vitamins and fiber but what makes leafy green vegetables so powerfully healthy is their abundance of phytonutrients. Phytonutrients are chemicals found in plants that help protect plants from disease, insects, injuries, etc.; they’re basically a plant’s immune system. And they work for our immune system too. Phytonutrients have been effective in treating cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and hypertension. They also help prevent cell damage and can decrease cholesterol levels. Leafy green vegetables are chock full of these powerfully healthy phytonutrients.

STORAGE TIPS

While leafy green vegetables are nutritional powerhouses they do have one flaw: they tend to go bad quickly and lose their powerful punch in a hurry. So you need to eat them within a couple days of purchasing. People have been known to go to great lengths to preserve their greens but you don’t have to do too much to get a few extra days out of them:

• Wash your greens as soon as you get home from the store in cold water • Pat them dry • Leave them out to dry all the way • Once they are totally dry (water is the enemy here), bundle the greens loosely between two paper towels and store in a large plastic (sealable) bag.

Note: The paper towels are important because they help soak up any condensation that may arise while in the fridge.

COOKING TIPS

Leafy greens are an easy addition to almost any meal. Like most vegetables, leafy green veggies can be cooked, steamed, stir-fried, sautéed and even eaten raw. To ensure your leafy greens are delicious every time remember to:

• Wash well to remove dirt. Don’t skimp on this step, it may take several rinsings to remove all the dirt.

• Keep in mind that some greens cook faster than others and all greens release a lot of water, so you may have to adjust your recipes accordingly.

• Do not overcook greens as overcooking can destroy many of the nutrients, plus it makes the greens taste all mushy and yucky.

Low calorie, high fiber, cancer fighting…these unassuming vegetables are so powerfully healthy but yet tend to fly under the radar. So, next time you’re in the supermarket, don’t just gloss over the greens on your way to the colorful peppers or carrots, pick up a sprig or two of some powerfully healthy leafy green vegetables.

My Creed To Live By

  Over the years I have collected a set of positive beliefs to support me living my life day by day, following are a few of my favourite ones!

My Creed to Live By
Everyone interprets their experience of the world through their own filters, based on their past, beliefs, and values. Based on this there is no right or wrong, only the meaning you attach to it.Everyone one is doing the best they can with what they have got in that moment. Every action starts off with a good intention behind it.

Your body and mind are connected, working together as one system. Look after your body and you will look after your mind.

Uncertainty is where the magic happens, it’s where we grow and discover resources within us we never knew existed. Life would be very boring if everything stayed the same.

The more you look to be grateful for the more you have to be grateful about.

Give up the need to be right, it will help to open your mind and your heart.

You are more likely to regret the things you didn’t do, rather than the things you did. Life is short, live your dreams.Kindness and love are like boomerangs, the more you give out the more you get back.

Your life is happening right now, in this very moment. Don’t waste energy thinking about the past and worrying about what might happen. Right now is where you are creating your future.

You always have a choice how you wish to feel and live your life. Blame and justification takes your power away, look where you can take responsibility and make the changes you require.

Will power is like a muscle, strengthen it and it will help you to achieve anything.

Remember to breathe. The simple process of taking long slow deep breaths to the pit of your tummy will calm your mind.

Only ever work towards your own goals, never anything you feel you “should” do.

Anytime you compare yourself to others you are limiting your experience of life, everyone has their own unique path and yours is to be discovered by following your heart not by what others are doing.

Only you know what you need and what is best for you.

Where you are at right now is perfect. Whatever happens is exactly as it’s meant to be and you will be ok.

HAPPY 2012! xxxx

How to have a great Christmas with less money!

I am sure there are quite a few people out there who are feeling a little daunted by Christmas this year in the current economic climate. It seems many of us are being careful with our purse strings at the moment and Christmas couldn't have fallen at a worse time. However it may seem Christmas isn't about money at all, it originated to celebrate the birthday of Jesus and whether you are religious or not it’s a time for love and connection. Over the years Christmas has come a bigger and bigger commercial opportunity, from early November we start to be bombarded with adverts for the best gifts to give, people become competitive about their decorations, the food we cook needs to be the finest and so on. Is this all really necessary though to show people we care? Not really.

Following are my top tips to have a Christmas with not much money!

1) Make hampers. A great friend of mine once was a bit cash poor one Christmas and decided to make homemade food hampers for all her family. She made delicious homemade chutneys, sauces and even truffles. They really went down a hit.

2) Invite people over and ask everyone to bring a dish, one New Year’s Eve a friend hosted a great party were we all brought a different course. We all really enjoyed contributing and sampling each other’s delights.

3) Agree a budget with everyone or even agree on no presents this year; lots of people are in the same situation this year so you might actually be helping ease each other’s minds by suggesting it.

4) Make your own Christmas cards, spending some time switching off from usual everyday stuff and being creative is great fun. Plus people really appreciate time spent on anything homemade. Stock up on glitter, ribbons and stick on stars and enjoy!!

5) Put aside thoughts of what to buy and think about how to show your love. How can you tell the people you care about the most you love them? Letters, conversations, sharing memories and what someone means to you, photographs, making time for them all spring to mind.

6) If you can’t give with money what about gifts with your time, what could you offer to help someone with? What could you arrange to do with them that would be meaningful? People tend to remember experiences more than material possessions.

7) Volunteer to help people who have less than you, for example the homeless charity Crisis UK opens Christmas centres across London and Newcastle from 22-30 December that offer vital companionship, hot meals and warmth, and a wide range of essential services that homeless people often miss out on. See the time bank website for more details.

8) Make the most of your time off work, allow yourself to stop, switch off and relax. It’s a great time to reflect on the year gone by, what you have learnt and what you would like to do next year. Open this conversation up to others, there will be an opportunity to learn from each other and share your dreams, which will put them into reality and help to make them happen.

Showing you love someone doesn't have to cost money and often the things that touch our hearts the most are actions and words which are priceless.

Happy Christmas!

Dressing for your face shape!

Yes you read it correctly, dressing for your face shape not your body shape. Of course dressing for your body shape is crucial if you want look your best but we are not going to focus on that now. Wearing the right neck lines, accessories, frames and hair styles around your face will also work to compliment you and enhance your features. First of all sit yourself down in front of a mirror and assess what your overall face shape could be; is it oval? Square? Long? Round? Heart? Or diamond?

If you can’t work it out exactly don’t worry, sometimes we can be a bit in-between. Just try and work out a rough idea.

Then take a look at your actual facial features to see if they are more angular or contoured? For example do you have round or more almond shape eyes (almond is more angular). Do you have sharp cheek bones or more rounded softer cheeks? Is your nose angular and pointed or does it have soft curves?

Here are a couple of examples;

Angular
Round

Once you have worked out for face shape and features consider overall does your face have more angles or curves?

If you get stuck try on a V neck top and then a round neck to see which really defines your features more.

The lines that you wear around you face will be most flattering if they match the natural contours of your face. To put quite simply if you have angular facial features then you need to wear angles around your face such as V and square necks, pendants instead of necklaces, angular glass frames, peaked lapels and straight hair styles. If your face is more contoured then round necks, softer frames, hairstyles with waves or curls, rounded lapels and accessories will flatter you.

This is advice to help you to look your absolute best and really define your features, of course you can still look fantastic in a top in the perfect colour and style for you but with the wrong neck line, it really is the finishing touch though. The wrong neckline, hairstyle or glass frames can impact how you look and detract from you looking to your best. For example if you wear a round neck when you have angular features you lose definition to your face, a rounded face with dead straight hair can look bigger, square earrings can look off set if you have tumbling curls and soft features.

What you wear around your face is crucial as that is what people are looking at the most when they speak to you. It is called your triangle of influence. So it is good to be most careful with the colours, styles and shapes you wear around your face to ensure you always look amazing.

Synchronicity; Living Life in the Flow

  The Celestine Prophecy was the first inspirational, spiritual type book I ever read. It was one of those “in” books that you saw every other traveller on the beach reading back then. One concept that I loved from that book was about synchronicity. Synchronicity is when you are really living life in the flow, things are going well, you are noticing opportunities that present themselves and embracing them. An example of this is when you think of a person and then they suddenly get in touch or you bump into them. The idea is that there are no coincidences but people and opportunities are put in your way for a reason. When you are aware of this you learn to pay attention to the people and situations that come into your life and allow yourself to learn from them.

I had an experience of just this about 6 years ago, I bumped into a man I had met in a club a few months before who I had not really wanted to see again, simply because I thought we would have nothing in common. As I really believe you don’t just see people again for no reason I went up to him to say hello. The result of this was over a few months he introduced me to personal development, which I fell in love with and then decided to be a coach! Who knows if I had not gone up to him that day I might not be writing this article today. Meeting him really did change my life, and to think I could have easily ran off in the other direction!

There are a few things that block our lives from being open to our lives just flowing like this;

1) Resistance; this is another word for fear. Fear of change and uncertainty is something that can keep us stuck in the same place doing the same things for years. We make excuses and justifications of why we don’t go for what we really want deep down. This blocks the energy and gets in the way of noticing ways to make your life how you would love it to be. 2) Need for control; we have a habit of wanting to plan and control everything. Whilst goals are good to visualise what you want and attract opportunities to make them happen you can also be too attached to them if you are not careful. Then you feel upset if they don’t happen. We really don’t know what is around the next corner and it’s wise to learn to feel stable within uncertainty. We grow and develop new personal qualities in uncertainty, it’s an exciting time. Meditation helps to create inner strength to cope with any situation; you can get over fear and find happiness and energy when you allow yourself just to be in the flow. I have had many goals where I haven’t known how I will achieve them and then a few months later I look back and realise I did but in a completely different way to what I had planned.

3) Expectation; this is really another form of control, we set expectations of how a situation should be or how a person should behave then we get upset then it doesn’t happen that way. Everyone has their own way of doing things and their own freedom; it’s unfair to put expectations on them. Allow people just to be themselves and just focus on being your amazing self.

In this moment is where the magic happens, pay attention to it, notice opportunities and look out for what you can learn.

Coping with an injury

  Posted by Louise but written by Michael!

Injuries, they’re inevitable. At one time or another you are going to hurt your arm, your back, your knee, something on your body is going to get injured and you have to cope with it. If you’re lucky the medical advice may be a simple: just rest it for a bit. Or you might hear the dreaded words of: you need surgery. Either way, simple injury or life changing one, coping with an injury is not always easy.

If you are normally an active person dealing with any kind of injury can be quite difficult. There are emotional issues as well as physical issues you have to work through. The following strategies may make the process easier and help you come out of recovery quicker.

Acknowledge your injury Before you can start to recover, you have to first acknowledge you are hurt. While it can be easy to ignore pain and just “work through it,” if you really are injured the pain is not going to go away but intensify. You may be able to self-diagnose the problem (e.g., your shins hurt because you’ve upped your runs from 3 miles a day to 8 without slowly building your endurance). Or, you may need to see a professional. Understand that it’s not a sign of weakness to seek medical advice, and often it can save you from turning a minor injury into a major one.

Understand your injury Once you know the specifications of your injury you will appreciate what your limitations are and why. For example, if you learn that you have a partially torn cartilage in your arm, you’ll understand why if you continue to use that arm and not let the injury heal, you’re going to eventually have a full-torn cartilage. You also need to understand how you got your injury so that if possible, you can avoid repeat injuries.

Maintain a Positive Attitude Getting hurt and being in pain stinks. It is no fun not being able to do the things you love, especially when all your friends, teammates or training partners can. But the mind is a very powerful thing. A flood of constant, negative thoughts are only going to make the healing process take longer. But research has shown that it may be possible to speed up the healing process by using specific mental skills and techniques such as imagery: imagining the way it will feel when you are recovered, imagining the desired outcome as though it is happening now or has already happened. So keep a positive attitude, remain focused on the good you’re doing (healing your injury), imagine yourself healed and you will recover faster and who knows, maybe even stronger.

Maintain Your Fitness While Injured This is probably the hardest part; maintaining your fitness while recovering. Depending upon the type of injury you have, you will probably have to modify your training or add alternate forms of training to maintain cardiovascular conditioning or strength. While it may not be your favorite form of exercise or work you as hard as you want, but there are always options. For example, if you can't run, perhaps you can cycle or swim. If you can’t do any lower body work, focus on arms and core. Or if you can’t really do much moving around at all, work on relaxation training. Use your recovery time as a time to experiment with new training options. Keep an open mind, you may find out you really love yoga and never knew it. Or that all these years of being a runner you were really meant to be a swimmer. Or not. But just keep moving in whatever capacity you can.

Injuries are an unfortunate fact of life. You may be lucky and never have to cope with a really debilitating injury. But for most of us, even having to take just a few weeks off our normal routine can seem debilitating. But if you acknowledge the injury and learn what it takes to heal it and then follow that advice with a positive attitude, coping with an injury isn’t that bad.

The Joy of Travelling on Your Own

More and more people now go for holidays on their own, to have their own little adventure or simply just to have some down time to themselves. If it is something you have not done before it can seem bit daunting though and not very appealing. I love holidays with friends or family but have had some of the best experiences and have made great new friends when I have gone away by myself. It can really push you out of your comfort zone which is always a good thing to open your mind and boost your confidence. If you are in two minds about whether to go it alone here are my top benefits for travelling alone: 1. You are totally free and independent. You can do what you want when you want. It also means you have to make your own decisions. If you are someone who often needs to consult others before deciding what to do it will help you flex that muscle of trusting yourself and what you want.

2. You meet more people when you are on your own. Whenever I have travelled alone I have never actually been alone for very long as you meet people where ever you go. If you find it hard to meet new people this will be great practise for you in small talk and creating new friendships. Plus the types of people you meet are so diverse you are likely to meet different personalities than you already have in your everyday life. This helps you to see new perspectives and opens your mind to new ways of thinking.

3. You might feel a bit scared; if you have not travelled alone you will be pushed out of your comfort zone. Eating alone, taking an overnight train trip, turning up to a new place without accommodation, booking a local tour not knowing where you are going, getting a bus and not knowing what stop to get off at…..are all examples of things you might not be used to. Doing things that scare you a bit will boost your self-confidence and belief that you can cope with anything. We don’t develop so much when we stay in our comfort zone doing the same things day in day out.

4. You find yourself in situations you never imagined (for example getting up at 4am with a group of people you just met to walk through jungle, hike up a rock face with no safety equipment to a tiny Indian temple to watch the sunrise to then climb down and all have a lovely milky sweet chai tea together) and once home you will look back with fond memories and a huge sense of achievement.

5. You are totally free to do what you want and be yourself. You don’t have to do anything you feel like you “should”, to live up to the expectations of others, you are simply free to be you. This should be the case day to day anyway but unfortunately our minds tend to get caught up with comparing ourselves and pleasing others.

6. You immerse yourself in different cultures which open your mind and help you to see life from new perspectives.

7. It gives you time and space to think and evaluate. Time away from your everyday life and people gives you a chance to see your life from a new perspective, you don’t have other people’s opinions swaying you. You are free to work out what you want from your life all on your own. Which is great as it will be what you really want 100%.

If you are thinking of going off travelling some websites I recommend are:

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/ http://www.travelfish.org/ http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ http://www.makemytrip.com/

Have fun! For 1-1 confidence coaching please contact Louise at [email protected]

Business Wear Check List

It’s easy to be a little unsure what is totally appropriate for work or not these days with businesses having a more flexible approach to work wear. Unless you are told you have to wear a suit it can be a bit confusing as to what you can and can’t get away with. Whatever the dress code you are likely to want to project a fantastic professional impact, to stand out and get noticed by your boss. A great professional impact is when the style of your clothes is appropriate, in good condition, looked after and fit you properly.

Following is a helpful check list from Aston and Hayes (where I trained as an image consultant) to find out if your clothes are an asset to you or a liability:

A

B

JACKET
Does your jacket fit properly across the back of your shoulders?

yes

no

Is there 2-3cms of fabric spare at the side of your torso?

yes

no

Are there any obvious creases or stains?

no

yes

Is there any puckering or fabric sheen caused by dry cleaning?

no

yes

Are there any loose buttons or threads?

no

yes

SKIRTS
Is your skirt long enough to cover your knees

yes

no

Does the fabric pull or gape anywhere?

no

yes

TROUSERS
Can you slip your hand easily into your waistband

yes

no

Are your pockets or pleats gaping or pulling?

no

yes

Does the hem rest on the top of your shoe?

yes

no

SHIRTS & TOPS
Are your shirt collars and cuffs pristine?

yes

no

Are you showing too much cleavage?

no

yes

Does the fabric pull anywhere across your bust or torso?

no

yes

Are your tops long enough to avoid showing your midriff?

yes

no

KNITWEAR
Does your knitwear have any bobbles or pulls?

no

yes

Shoes & Hosiery
Are your shoes in immaculate condition?

yes

no

Are your tights free of snags or runs?

yes

no

 

TOTALS:

Now count up all your A’s and B’s. A is the most appropriate wear to create a professional impact so if you have scored lots of A’s you are doing well! If B was your higher score then it might be a good time for a wardrobe weed to sift out the clothes that don’t work so well anymore and create a key items shopping list to build a fabulous working wardrobe.

Contact me for more details: [email protected]

New Year, New Image Resolutions

  It’s the time of year when everyone is making New Year’s resolutions so I thought I would come up with a few suggestions for getting dressed in 2012! 1) Be Yourself. It’s great to get inspiration from others but then use that to dress exactly how you feel, show your personality, dress to suit your body shape. Whenever we try to fit ourselves into something we are not it can end up feeling uncomfortable and not right somehow. You are amazing just the way you are, dress to show that.

2) Try a new colour. It’s easy to get stuck in a routine of wearing the same colours most of the time. For example many people I meet say to me “I only ever wear black”. Make 2012 the year you experimented with a new colour! Be brave, try one out and see how you feel.

3) Try a new style. As with colour it’s very easy to get into the habit of grabbing the same styles of clothes. Often when I take people shopping I will pick things out they would never have thought of trying and then find themselves pleasantly surprised when they see themselves in the mirror. So next time you go shopping, just take a bit of time to experiment, you never know what you might find!

4) Before springtime plan a wardrobe clear out. It’s the task we often put off month after month but once it’s done you feel fantastic for doing it. Getting rid of clothes that don’t work anymore or remind you of past times you would rather forget is extremely cathartic. It makes way for new energy to come into your life, plus any new purchases! 5) Wear lipstick for a week. If you don’t normally wear lipstick just try out for fun wearing it for a week and see how it feels. No hidden agenda or reason.

6) Try a new hairstyle. As we see on all the makeover shows hair and make-up really make a huge impact. Your hair can dramatically change how you look. If you have had the same style for a few years, how about trying something different for 2012. Again, just for fun! If you really want to treat yourself, go see Jamie Stevens at Errol Douglas in Knightsbridge. He is the hairdresser on Gok Wan’s TV shows and X Factor.

7) Try a new exercise. Exercise makes you feel good inside and out. Whether you don’t do any at all or are stuck in the same routine, try something new this year and see how it feels. I love Zumba and Hot Yoga, both totally lift my spirits and put me in a fantastic mood! When you feel good this shines out.

Happy New Year!!!