What is really important to you? That you'd do anything to feel or experience? Love? Integrity? Honesty? Kindness? Family? Success? Freedom? Happiness? Abundance? Health? Spirituality? The list is endless.
It's very easy when caught up with work, in relationships and everything else that life throws at you to loose sight of what is really important to you.
It's also very easy to start to live by someone else's values, to loose track of what really matters to you.
To get caught up in their dreams, their priorities and forget about your own.
Our values are what drive us, what inspire us to make our dreams happen so what happens when we are not living by them?
We can begin to feel lost, confused, depleted of energy and inspiration to create change in our life. We can start to put others needs before our own. We can put our own feelings aside to make sure the other person is ok.
We may be working towards "goals" but are not actually doing much to achieve them. The drive and motivation to get in to action comes from feeling so inspired by the end result that we will do anything to make it happen. However if it's not what we really want (not in alignment to our values) then it's very hard to feel any desire to do any thing about it, even though we still feel guilty when we don't!!!
I speak to my clients a lot about learning to love yourself, to put yourself first, and often they are not even sure where to begin with that. One way is to get really clear about what YOU want, what is important to YOU and make that a priority.
Also self love is all about valuing your feelings, they are just as important as any one else. Avoid putting them aside to "keep the peace", honour them, express then and then release them if they are not supporting you.
If you have no idea what your values are look around you in your life. What do you surround yourself with in your home? What do you enjoy talking about most to others? What is that dream that you gave up on years ago but every now and then pops back into your head? What really excites you? What inspires you in other people?
Just be on alert for these things. Make a note of them when you notice them. Slowly you will begin to create a list of things that are important for you to experience on a daily basis.
Once you are clear on that then you have a check list to make sure that every situation you go into is in alignment with that. For example if you value honesty and have to work/ or have a relationship with someone who is a natural born liar then it is likely not to work for you! Or if you value integrity then any kind of relationship where the other never does what he/she says he/she are going to do is likely to drive you crazy!
Of course we attract people into our lives who have opposite values to us, this is our opportunity to learn and find ways of how different values can compliment each other. A classic example is in a relationship with one partner valuing work and one valuing family. This can really work where one can use their work values to be able to financially support the partner who values family and wants to stay at home to look after the children. It can also cause a lot of arguments! It's being in that curious mindset of learning rather than fighting against, and honest discussion, that brings out these insights,
Value yourself enough to take some time to work out what is really important to you, then make time to ensure your life supports that.
If you'd like some help uncovering what your values are then give me a call! 07779 150 886.