Do you know anyone who is just constantly complaining? Someone who zaps the life out of you when you see them? There are just some people where nothing is ever good enough and believe that the world is constantly conspiring against them.

Why are some people like this and other people are not? It would be easy to assume that perhaps they have just had a hard life and are reacting to that, but what about all those amazing positive people who have battled serious illness and numerous tragedies in their lives but still are a wonder to be around.

Have you ever been at work and someone sitting next to you is in a foul mood, have you felt the tension build and energy drop in the room, even if they haven’t actually said anything. Or perhaps a partner has come home from work and is crashing round the flat, how does that make you feel?

When someone else is feeling negative, even if they don’t actually say anything, it has an impact on you. You just feel it. When someone is complaining its hard not to get drawn in to it or stay in a good mood.


Obviously we naturally get in bad moods, things happen to us that cause upset, things don’t go the way we want and sometimes we don’t feel life is fair. It’s the way you deal with it though is key to how you feel about your life and how you affect those around you. If you are constantly walking around feeling like the world is against you, attacking everyone who comes in sight and complaining about everything that happens you will just get more negativity thrown at you because you are actively looking out for it and creating people around you to feel that way too.

Our thoughts create our behaviour, so if you are thinking of all the bad stuff in your life, all the things that haven’t worked out, all the daily annoyances that crop up you will just find more to be upset about and wallow in self pity. How about if you were to actively look for the good in your life? Even when things are not going your way? What if you were to ask yourself every day what you are grateful for? What you have to be happy about? About all the people you love in your life and the ones that love you too. Just give it a go when you next feel a bit down and see how the things you say to yourself really change the way you feel.

When you are upset a huge part of being able to get over it is to accept what has happened, the more you resist something the more it just winds you up. Once you have accepted the circumstances you can then work out what to do next. Yes you may be feeling sad about something and that is totally normal but you can either make yourself feel worse or you could try to do something nice for yourself to make yourself feel a bit better.

How do you want to be seen to the world? Like someone who drains others or someone who people are magnetically drawn to? People are attracted to those that radiate what they would like for their lives for example happiness, success, courage, honesty, fun, vitality etc If you are walking around complaining about everything you will just be giving off negative vibes and others just won’t want to be around you so much.

Following are my 5 steps to feeling more positive:

1. Accept it! Whatever it is you are resisting just see how you feel if you were to accept it. If you find that hard just pretend you accept it to see what happens! Ask yourself if I was just to accept this how would I feel?

2. Ask yourself what is good in your life right now? What is there to be grateful for? When you are thinking about this there is often no room in your mind to think negatively.

3. Ask yourself what could you do today to make it a great day? What could you do for yourself to make yourself feel better?

4. Move your body! You physical state has an impact on how you feel too, so jump around, put some music on and dance, go for a run, anything to get your endorphins going. Anthony Robbins recommends skipping down the road, you can’t help but smile, especially when people are smiling at you!

5. Plan something fun, get something in your diary that would excite you. Or perhaps set a goal to achieve something over the next few months that you can get started on today. Working towards making changes in your life can have a huge impact on how you feel about things.