Letting go of someone you love is often one of the hardest things to do but is crucial to be able to move on with your life and meet someone else. When our minds are consumed with someone from the past there is no head space to meet anyone else. We might meet people but never really give it 100% or simply attract the wrong type of people into our lives with whom there could be no future with anyway.

Sometimes people are scared of letting go of someone for all sorts of reasons. There is the fear of being alone, fear of being with out them or fear of not meeting someone new. Some people actually enjoy having someone to think about even if they can’t be with them. The thought of having no one at all to think about could seem more frightening than actually hurting over someone you are not with. The story of how much you have been hurt could be getting you attention from people that actually makes you feel loved and cared for. For what ever reason it is to keep hold of someone in your mind it is self sabotage and will stop you from finding a relationship that is good for you.


Following are a few suggestions on how to finally move on and let go;

Learn from it

When someone hurts us we often do not think clearly or logically when we are in the middle of the impact of it all. If it’s the first time something has happened like this then we make a decision about ourselves, how other people behave and about relationships. This is usually negative for example not being enough for that person; good enough, attractive enough, clever enough the list goes on. If we have been rejected before then what ever has happened now is likely to back up what you decided about yourself and relationships when it happened the first time round. This is how our negative beliefs about ourselves and relationships are formed. The thing is when we make these decisions about our selves and how relationships are it is when we have just been hurt we are not thinking clearly. It is very likely that what ever we choose to believe is not logical at all and in fact is utter rubbish.

Go back to the situation that really hurt you. Close your eyes and really visualise it in your minds eye. Hear what was said to you, what could you see, how did you feel, what were you saying to your self? Then feel yourself rise above the situation as if you are looking at it from an on looker’s perspective. Ask yourself what is the reality of this situation, what is there to learn from it?

We attract every situation into our lives for us to learn or accept something about ourselves that we have previously ignored, it might be a tough one to get your head around but when something bad happens to us somehow we have helped to manifest it. So look at the situation from the angle of what part could I have played in making this happen, how my behaviour or how I was thinking helped to create it and then see what there is to learn from that. If you learn from each situation then you can never fail.

Acceptance

What you resist persists. To be able to move on and let go it is important to accept what happened for what it was. If it didn’t work out with someone, it just didn’t work out. Spending time fighting against this, feeling like “it shouldn’t be like this” “it’s not fair” “I refuse to believe it” will only lead you to self torturing thoughts and drive you insane. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up it simply means acknowledging the truth as it is right now. From that space you can then ask yourself, ok this is the situation what can I do next….

Forgiveness

Forgiving the other person and yourself is really one of the keys to moving on. Negative thoughts such as hatred, anger or resentment just eat you up and drain your energy. They will continue to impact your life in your other relationships unless you do something about it. People act the best they can at any given moment, they live by their own set of values and beliefs through that ever has happened to them in the past. Having compassion for another human, accepting them for who they are and what they have done and forgiving them if they have hurt you will give you the freedom to let them go.

Cut your energetic ties

When we have a relationship with someone we create an energetic cord or tie that links us with that person for years afterwards. It’s that connection we feel with past loved ones. As human beings we are made up of energy, if you rub your hands together very quickly for a few minutes like you are trying to start a fire then open and close the palm of your hands very slowly you will start to feel a magnetic force between them. This is an example of our energy. That magnetic force that you feel is the same as an energetic tie that we have with a past loved one. If you really want to let go of someone then cutting that energetic tie ( or emotional cord as some people call it) is really effective. You can have someone do it with you or can visualise doing it yourself. If you put into Google Emotional Cord Cutting various explanations will come up on how to do it but following is a simple one too:

Close your eyes.
Visualise a stage in front of you.
Rise up and look down on the stage.
Invite who ever you want from your life up on to that stage who you would like to let go of. Once you have who ever you want up on the stage say anything you need to say to them and if you feel like they might reply something back listen to it.
Then tell them you love them and are letting them go to live a life they love.
Visualise cords of light coming from them to you – your energetic cords.
Then visualise an axe swinging down from the side cutting those cords and the person or people you are letting go of floating away into the distance.
Take 10 deep breaths, saying to your self that you are breathing out old energy and breathing in new energy.
Open you eyes.

Following is a lovely inspirational writing to leave you with about letting go:

Let Go

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To “let go” Is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To “let go” is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.
To “let go”is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is not to loose power, but to be open to the power within.
To “let go” is to fear less, and love more.

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