There is a saying that goes "What you resist persists" and if you really think about it resisting a situation is probably 99% of what makes us feel upset, disappointed or frustrated. If a situation doesn't go the way we want it or a person doesn't behave how we would like them to this is where we start to feel negative emotions, the feelings of "it shouldn't be that way" or "but why can't they feel like that" or "this isn't fair" etc.

If you really think about it resisting a situation is probably 99% of what makes us feel upset, disappointed or frustrated. If a situation doesn't go the way we want it or a person doesn't behave how we would like them to this is where we start to feel negative emotions. It can be from the small things like not receiving a phone call from someone you hoped to hear from to more tragic events such as a loved one dying, if it doesn't go the way you want it's natural to resist the fact that it has happened and not to accept that that is just the way it is.

Resisting the situation can lead to all sorts of destructive emotions such as anger, betrayal, depression, sadness and hatred. How ever if you accept the situation you are in no matter how hard it might be to do so, those feelings are likely to disappear and leave you with clarity to then think what your next step should be. Acceptance is not about being defeated and giving into the challenges of life but just a case of accepting what has happened, what is', and then thinking "OK so this is the situation, what can I do now to change things / make things better?". Sometimes there isn't anything to do next, it's just a case of not trying to fight against something and just allow yourself to feel what ever you need to feel.


Acceptance is linked in with being present. As human beings we spend most of our lives thinking about the past, letting it affect the present moment and also thinking or worrying about the future. Very rarely do we just focus on the exact second we are living in. When we are not accepting a situation it might be causing negative feelings because it is bringing up past upsets in our minds or creating new worries about what "might or might not happen" in the future. Instead of clouding our minds so much with the past and future the most powerful state to be in is "the Now". After all in the Now is where we create our future isn't it? Eckhart Tolle in his enlightening book "The Power of Now" states you have three options in the Now in any situation:

Get out of it
Change it
Accept it

If you are finding yourself really resisting a situation try accepting it. Look into what good things are coming out of it, perhaps there is something for you to learn, or it is bringing people together, or it means you can now do something you wanted to. There will always be something good in what ever situation it is, it just takes a bit of looking for sometimes. Once you say to yourself that you accept it then it's clearer to see perhaps why it has happened and what you can do next.

When it is people's behaviour that you are finding it hard to accept it's probably because they are acting against your highest values. However remember that everyone has their own set of values and what is important to them. Just because someone might do something against your values that does not mean they are wrong. They are just acting out in accordance to what is important to them. We live our lives the best we can in alignment to our values and we all have totally different sets of values. You don't have to agree, or follow, or condone, but acceptance means you begin any interaction with a serenity which invites others to engage with you openly and with out being judged.

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