Yoga really begins off the mat

One of the biggest benefits I have gained from my Yoga practice over the years is deepening my level of self awareness. I would go as far as saying this is what we are really practicing when we get on our mats.

We observe the breath, the mind, the sensations of the body, the distractions, the annoyances, the joy, the pain….the experience of this moment.

When practicing this regularly on the mat, it becomes second nature to also notice what is happening off the mat.

In a moment of self awareness we can self regulate, we can offer our self and others compassion. We can listen deeply to what we really need.

I will share two different examples of the benefit of this I had in just in November;

I was asked to teach Yoga at a Fat Boy Slim weekend in Butlins last month. A very different scenario to where I usually teach! I was watching FBS play on the stage I was due to be teaching the next morning and fear came over me, how on earth was I going to teach in such a massive room, to people who are not used to the way I teach, and with a headset on!!!

These days I don’t usually get so fearful when teaching as over the years like with anything I have settled into what I do and feel comfortable with that. So this actually felt exhilarating to feel the fear! Over the years I have seen it as a sign for growth. So first things first as I noticed what we going on I reminded myself that “fear is just excitement with out breathing”. I remembered my first tool…..the breath.

Next I reminded myself that I just have to be myself and do it my way. Something that I like to encourage everyone on my teachers courses to do! I also remembered the power of grounding, to feel my feet on the earth.

It’s amazing how many tools we learn in Yoga that really are tools for our life.

So I showed up, chose to teach from the floor not on the stage and was just myself. Even though I was on a sticky massive dance floor I surrounded my mat with candles and shared from my heart.

It was such an amazing experience, and people said some lovely words after it.

And so to my second very different experience……

At the end of November I was blessed to teach a retreat in the Atlas Mountains. The day I travelled there was such a joy, I had so many lovely interactions with people along the way. The funniest being the security guard at Gatwick searching my bag to find my oracle cards and the proceeding to ask for a reading and getting his colleagues involved!!! I went to bed in my high up mountain top room excited for the next day when the guests were due to arrive.

I got up early for breakfast eager to go explore and tucked into my breakfast of fresh bread and almond butter……at least that is what I thought. Next thing I noticed was the tickling and swelling in the throat….I sign anaphylaxis. It turned out it was not almond but peanuts, for which I am allergic!

A reminder that life can change in an instant….one day highs the next lows,.

I proceeded to manage my reaction with breath work, antihistamine, EFT tapping, Reiki, affirmations and a huge support from my body expelling the unwanted invader! Now I am not saying this was the best way to deal with it, if I had been in a town with someone else I probably would have called an ambulance and asked them to stab me with an epi pen. However I was high up a mountain on my own with the chef who didn’t speak very good English.

I am grateful for the tools I have learnt and the ability to be able to have the awareness of what was happening without getting caught up in the fear. Yes part of me was scared but the part of me that was aware was able to support myself.

The gratitude afterwards for my body, my higher self and God for getting me through that was immense. I felt like I have been given a new chance at life!!

I would also just like to mention I did have an epi pen on me that I was ready to use if I felt I really needed it. I am not at all adverse to medicine.

Two very different experiences but supported by self awareness and other tools learnt on the yoga mat.

As I am sitting here I notice my back starting to niggle, a sign to move, to not sit at a computer for too long. Yet another helpful moment of self awareness.

I hope this blog serves you to inspire you to keep up with a regular awareness practice whether it’s breath work, yoga, meditation, Qi Gong, dance or something else.

Lots of love x

What to do when you are feeling uninspired

As someone who is often creating class plans, workshops, trainings, retreats and social media posts I am very familiar with those days when inspiration is just not flowing. Those moments when you know you need to create something but have no idea what to share, the mind goes blank and for me the world (and life) suddenly seems very flat.

As an only child I vividly remember times when I was at home on my own with no one to play with just staring out of the window, bored witless. Boredom and lack of ideas about what to do about it was my most hated emotion. In that sense a lack of sibling actually served me to be able to get myself out of it and come up with some ideas of what to do!! Now I see that experience was a gift.

If you can relate to any of this and would like some ideas on what to do when lacking inspiration, read on….

Find Your Rhythm

Firstly I have discovered inspiration comes in waves and it’s very normal to have periods with no ideas. I find as a women this happens monthly with my cycle. I am usually most inspired in the “Spring/ Summer” of my month. Equally that is the same with my day. I have my most inspired ideas first thing and if I don’t write them down or do something with them then as the day progress I often loose confidence in them or simply get distracted by other things and forget them altogether. You will have your own rhythm of inspiration so it’s noticing these waves and when you are “in the ideas zone” to make a note of them. This then comes handy when you are lacking imagination. You could start an inspiration journal that you can refer to when you need a helping hand.

Journal

I find journaling about how I am feeling and what I am learning personally a great source of inspiration. Added to that I might pull an oracle card and reflect on that which can be a helpful prompt. If you are looking for ideas for a class or workshop theme here are a few journaling questions that I find useful:

  • What have been my biggest lessons in life?

  • What do I love about yoga?

  • What have I learned from my practice of yoga?

  • Who are my favourite inspiring teachers and why?

  • Where are we in the wheel of the year and what is happening with the moon and other planets? This can be a great source of ideas as it’s relevant to what is happening energectically right now.

Why Don’t You?

For those of you around my age you might remember the kids TV show “Why Don’t You?”. They had the best strap line….Why don't you just switch off your television set and go and do something less boring instead?

I think we could replace “TV” with “mobile” and “laptop” also. Sometimes when lacking inspiration the best thing to do if go our for a walk or do something else completely different.

Julia Cameron who wrote the Artists Way shares the fun idea of taking yourself off on an “artists date” as a way to unlock your creativity. You make a list of things you love to do, maybe that you haven’t done since you were a child or somethings you have always want to do, big or small. Then you schedule in a date with yourself to do it. It really feels like a big act of self care doing this and when you do things just for the sake or fun it’s amazing what inspiration flows when it’s ready.

I have my most inspired ideas when I go out for a walk, sit on the beach or under a tree,

Inspiration from others

I have many inspirational, yoga and poetry books on my shelves. When I need help with finding a spark I dip into them. I might read a chapter, a quote or a poem and then reflect on how I can bring that to life and make it my own. I might journal of what it means to me and look for any experiences I have had that relate to it.

Something from nothing

Honestly there are just sometimes when I can’t get there, I am going to teach a class in the evening and I have no idea what I am going to teach or share. In these cases I just trust in the practice. I trust that from connecting with our bodies and breathing slowly something good will come. I trust in the spaces of silence I create, an idea of something to say will come, and if it doesn’t that is ok too. Silence in our busy world can be just the medicine we need.

On days like this I also ask the class what they need and then base what I teach on that. I guide the room to consider why they have come to yoga, what do they want to get from it and then set their own intention around that. Remembering I can trust the practice to serve people in the way they need, I am just guiding it. I don’t have to know it all or have all the inspiration all of the time, I am only human.

Finally sometimes you just need to start, to put pen to paper and see what flows. This blog post has come from me sitting at the screen not knowing what to write, so I thought “I just write about that, my experience right now!” I hope you found it useful.

How to make regular yoga practice achievable

Whilst we know that practicing Yoga regularly will provide many more benefits that just going to a class once a week at the studio it can feel hard to fit it into an already busy life.

First of all why do we need to practice regularly anyway?

The why is what will motivate to you do it in the first place. If it’s just another thing you feel you “should” do then it’s likely you will put it off. It needs to align with your values, what is important to you.

The “why” of a regular yoga practice will be different for everyone. Here are a few benefits to make time for it:

  • It’s an opportunity to come home to yourself, to tune in a check in with how you are doing and what you need. This way you live life more mindfully and compassionately towards yourself and others, not getting sways by others “shoulds”. staying close to your truth as you move through the day.

  • Physically it can help your mobility, ease within the body and strength (depending what kind of practice you do).

  • The simple act of doing a regular practice that is good for you even when you don’t feel like doing it switches on your willpower, your inner fire and reminds you that you CAN do anything you put your mind to.

  • When you are caught up in the spinning top of the mind a regular practice can help to ground you and bring you back to the moment to be able to think more clearly

  • If you have a Spiritual belief it’s an opportunity to connect with that

  • The breath provides energy for your day, peace and clarity of mind

  • If it is going to a yoga class that will provide connection with others

  • The more we have moments of connection with our “higher Self” that place within that is already peaceful, content and present, the more we will remember it’s there and that we can return to it at any time as it is who we are.

A Yoga practice does not have to be long.

It’s easy to get put off by thinking a practice has to be one hour or more. It’s lovely to have a long and full practice but a short 10 mins is better than nothing. The more we can put little practices through our days the more we will be receiving those benefits above. Here are a few ideas for a short practice:

  • Set 10 mins on the timer and balance out you breath, say in for 6 and out of 6, or 5 or 4, what ever feels comfortable to you

  • Set 10 mins on your time and just sit, breathe slowly, settle in and observe how you are feeling? Notice where that is experienced in the body. Breathe into it. Let it be. Just sit there watching what ever arises in the stillness. You can’t get this wrong.

  • Releases for the spine; cat cows, all fours spiralling the spine in both directiongs, extending child pose to upward facing dog. From cat pose up to downward facing dog and back again. Standing forward fold, rolling up and down the spine eventually to standing. Side stretches. A sun salutation of your choice if you have time. End laying down.

  • Pick a Yin or restorative pose you can rest in for 5-10 mins. Settle in, breathe gently and repeat some thoughtful words to yourself such as “this too shall pass”. “All the answers I need are with in me”. “I am open to possibility”. “Right now in the moment all is well, I am safe, all I need it always taken care of”.

  • If you are in need of some inner strength; forearm plank for a minute, side plank, hold chair pose, in an out of goddess squat and hold it in a low squat. Holding high lunge, dip in and out with the back knee. Lions breath. Double leg raises. Rest.

  • Tapping around the meridian lines, having a shake and then perhaps a dance….all still counts as a practice I think. Great for shifting and releasing energy.

  • Read a passage from an inspirational book

  • Take time to journal about how you feel

Yoga isn’t all about the physical practice, breathing practices, meditation, self study and acts of kindness are all yoga.

I suggest picking a time of day that works for you and sticking to a short practice for a month. It helps to have a dedicates area that is ready for you and just place yourself there and let it flow from there.

Let me know how you get on. I do offer 1-1’s if you feel that might be of help.

Navigating Change

I am sat here wrapped up in a blanket with my slippers on feeling the bite of the cold from this chilly Autumn morning. Only last week I was sat on the beach preparing for a swim in the warm sunshine. I have to be honest, I hate it when Summer is over. I resist it so much.

In Chinese medicine we are now entering the Metal season and the key emotion associated with this element, and its organ the Lungs, is grief. Ultimately this season is about being able to let go, to appreciate what has gone before, to learn the lessons, to feel the pain of loss and be able to move on. To know there is beauty in every moment and to embrace the change.

I am currently in perimenopause, which is often likened to the season of Autumn before the winter of the menopause when the monthly bleed has stopped for at least 12 months, I am acutely aware of the grief this brings, the hanging on to my younger self, the not wanting to age, to go through this crazy up and down hormonal season of life.

However, through my studies in Chinese Medicine I can see clearly now a big part of the suffering associated with it is the resistance to change, the hanging on to the past and not welcoming Lifes flow.

I am historically a horder. I hold on to possessions for sentimental reasons and just in case I need them one day! I am getting better. I over the past year I have released much “stuff” and just this week I had a big clear out of the house, creating space and beauty which has felt good.

Space is a theme of Autumn going into Winter, as the leaves create space to see more of the sky through the branches and perhaps there are less social engagements, more time inside for rest and early nights. Of course the lungs need space in the chest to be able to breathe. Conscious breath helps to create space in the mind and body to be able to think clearly and notice patterns that are no longer serving, to be able to release them for the new.

Letting go of things, patterns, jobs, relationships, creates space for something better to come along. It can often be a scary process letting go of something that is not serving, but it’s amazing how the space does get filled soon after. There is the saying “nature abhors a vacum” . I remember that when something doesn’t work out (like a Yoga classes for example) and I have to drop it, something better always comes along.

As well at the Metal element, being able to go with the flow of life also relates to the Wood element, the Liver Qi. The Liver manages a healthy flow of energy, and emotions, around the body and in life. One thing I find helpful when navigating change is to make a plan. This is the realm of the Liver, to have a vision and to get organised around that, directing your energy where needed. For example, with Perimenopause I am now doing a “Yoga for Perimenopause” course and plan to set up women’s circles to offer support through this time to others, this gives me a purpose and keeps me inspired. I feel like I am stepping into a new version of myself, the older wiser me. Educating myself and putting new practices for myself into place feels empowering rather than spending time in resistance and hanging on to what has now passed.

How are you with change? What are your strategies for navigating it?

Perhaps there is something you are resisting right now. If so you may like to reflect:

  • What have I learnt from this?

  • What were the blessings?

  • What can I do to let go now? Maybe it’s a conversation, a ritual an action….

  • How do I see my new future with out X?

  • Who will I be being?

  • What will I be doing?

  • How will this positively impact my life?

  • What are the first few steps to take towards this?

I will leave you with this quote to reflect on….

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou

7 Ways to Nourish Your Heart this Summer

I was just about to sit down to write this, I had got the “7 ways” down, then I realised my meditation class was about to start. I was about to not bother joining it as my head was saying “you are in the zone now, get on with writing” but my heart gently reminded me that this is exactly what I am writing about!

We are now in the season of the Heart Qi, the Fire Element, in Chinese Medicine. The heart is about connection, all kinds of relationship including with yourself and perhaps on the deepest level with the Divine.

As I tuned in on Zoom it was so lifting to see Maitripushpa, my meditation teacher, and others on screen. Even through Zoom connection can be felt. Then after 50 minutes of dropping inwards I now feel more centred and connected with myself, in a steady frame of mind to write this without a sense of rushing.

According to Chinese medicine the heart is ruffled by rushing and striving. It likes us to be gentle with it. It is nourished through meditation, prayer and time in nature.

Here are 7 ways you can nourish your heart this Summer time;

  1. Sing - the clarity of our voice is connected to our heart, perhaps because the Heart Qi is about being your authentic self and when we express our selves from there (“speaking from the heart”) we are clear in what we are saying. Also there is a fascial connection from tongue to heart so when we sing the heart enjoys the vibrations and singing is joyful, joy is the main emotion of the heart.

  2. Dance - the heart loves music, dances is a beautiful (& joyful) way of self expression being fully immersed in your body. I love this quote from The Witch of Portobello

    “If theatre is ritual, then dance is too... It's as if the threads connecting us to the rest of the world were washed clean of preconceptions and fears. When you dance, you can enjoy the luxury of being you.”

    ― Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

  3. Connect - Summer is the most outward/ extrovert time of the year….make time to see friends, family, loved ones, help someone in needs, take care of animals….any connection will nourish your heart.

  4. Ritual - The Heart was given the title of “The Emperor” as it was seen as the most important organ and as I mention above has a deep connection with The Divine. Rituals of any sort, ones that mean something you to, lift the heart. I like to honour the Solstices and Equinoxes and the cycles of the Moon. I find doing small rituals for these add to living mindfully, honouring the rhythms of the year and give power to setting intentions.

  5. Meditate/ Pray - The heart is said to me the resting place of our spirit, or “Shen”, as rituals do also time in meditation and prayer are natural expressions of the heart.

  6. Cacao - pure ethically harvested cacao triggers Dopamine and the endorphin, ‘Anandamide’, two essential neurotransmitters that make us feel good. It also releases Serotonin, which might help you feel more relaxed, restful and calm. The quality of food for the heart is “bitter”, raw cacao is definitely that, it’s not your usual Cadbury’s bar! I add some chilli and cinnamon to taste.

  7. Moments of Awe - The flip side of joy is depression and that is one of the emotions also associated with the Heart. University of California San Francisco researchers found that a regular dose of awe is a natural and simple way to boost positive emotions, such as compassion and gratitude, and reduce distressing emotions. So the next time you spot a Rose, stop to marvel at it’s beauty and smell it’s fragrance. Rose is actually an essential oil that can touch the heart.

I hope you enjoy these long Summer days and find some time to do things that lift your heart. I am running a Summer Solstice ritual online on 21st June at 8am if you fancy starting off this energetically potent day with me. You can find out more and book for that here. If you prefer in person I will be sharing a 3 hour Celebrating Summer workshop in a lovely yurt in Hove, you can read more about that here.

What happened when I did nothing for 20 mins each day

On the run up to Christmas I could feel the Covid anxiety building yet again. Should I be teaching in person still, was I going to make it home for Christmas…..and what on earth would happen in January?! Now that I am a step mum Christmas isn’t the relaxing time it used to be either, come the first week of January my nervous system felt haywire. I was exhausted.

I decided the best thing for me was to sign up for a course in Restorative Yoga/ Rest with the wonderful teacher Judith Hanson Lasater. This involved putting myself in a different position for Savasana/ Rest each day, for 20 minutes over 14 days. Yoga blankets, bolsters, cushions and an eye pillow were required.

The props help the body to feel held and the blankets not only add weight but keep you snuggly warm. Aside from my bolster, and sandbag, my yoga blankets are my most favourite yoga purchase ever. It is definitely worth investing in a big heavy cotton one (or 3) from Yogamatters. I used to use my soft fleecy blankets I had on my bed but they just don’t add the weight or coverage, that really helps you release.

Of course there were days when my mind was telling me I am too busy to stop for 20 minutes! I stuck with it though, as after the first week I could already start to notice the difference. Taking a “power nap”/ proper rest for 20 minutes in the afternoon helped me to have energy to go out to teach (or be fully present for my husband) in the evenings. I wasn’t needing to collapse into bed by 9pm, and then wake way to early for my liking in Winter.

My nervous system feels balanced, the eczema on my hands has calmed down, I don’t have that low level exhaustion buzzing in the background any more. I have more energy to want to go out to exercise and my will power feels stronger over cutting down on my afternoon sugar cravings. My inspiration is returning and where as before my mind felt numb I am now able to come up with ideas for the year ahead. To be honest I feel like myself again!

I am a big fan of Yoga Nidra, the guided relaxation/ meditation, but there is something potent about just being still in silence for 20 minutes, with all the props for support. Judith Hanson Lasater says that “Savasana teaches the nervous system what receptivity to life is truly about”. She speaks about “receiving” the pose rather than “doing” it.

I found that when I start my mind gets busy, but after a while of just laying there, allowing that all to wash over me, eventually it gives up trying to distract me and I drift off. I am probably only actually asleep for about 5-10 minutes after all that winding down but then I always seems to wake up just as the timer is about to go off too. It’s like my body knows when is enough. I find this also with acupuncture sessions, and I am now wondering if part of why I like that so much is that I am literally pinned to the bed and have no other option but to be still and surrender.

Inspired by the power of this practice and taking just 20 minutes in the day to properly rest I am now working on creating an on demand course for you to take time in your day to pause too. Watch this space.

Lessons from fear

There are different kinds of fear, for example; phobias, fear of doing something that scares you, of missing out, of not being enough, of what others think, the fear of something life threatening, fear of losing someone or something and many more. In Chinese Medicine the Winter is associated with the Water element and the emotion of fear. Interestingly it’s the darkest time of the year, and people often fear the dark.

Don Miguel Ruiz said in his book Mastery of Love:

Just as your body is made by cells, your dreams are made by emotions. There are two main sources of these emotions. One is fear, and all the emotions that come from fear, the other is love, and all the emotions that come from love. We experience both emotions but the one that predominates everyday people is fear”

It can be common to block out fears, to be too busy to have to face them. The darker months of Winter perhaps give us a bit more time and space, to reflect and acknowledge how we really are. In turning towards our fears, giving them space to be seen you can ask “what can I do about this?” or perhaps “what is this teaching me?”.

Fear of doing things that scare me have taught me to be brave, to not let anything stop me doing what I want. When I feel the inner rising of fear within me I have learnt that the situation is something I should do. I know that when I “feel the fear and do it anyway” (Susan Jeffers) I am on the precipice of growth and of building my self confidence. I see it as an inner compass now.

On the flip side I can also see that fear has helped me to be safe, to not get my self into situations where my life could be at risk. Of course is is not completely avoidable as you can’t control what others do but you can make some choices to help minimise it and move through life as safely as possible.

I remember someone telling me a quote once that always stuck with me; “fear is excitement without breathing”. I remember this before I am about to do something that feels a bit scary.

I have learnt that if I don’t face my fears they some home come back to bite me so I am forced into facing them, such as a time I was too scared to leave a relationship I was in for fear of hurting my partner, to later find out he’d been cheating on me for a year anyway! Or the other time I was scared to leave a job I was unhappy in to then be made redundant. If we don’t take control life will.

Fear can create tension in the body and mind, in the form of anxiety. One tool we have to help this is the breath, another could be acupressure. Following is a sequence to help relieve anxiety, calm the mind and feel settled in this moment.

  • Gentle slow breathing - I recommend coherent breathing which is breathing in for 6 and out for 6 which brings the nervous system into balance. (you can find “Coherence - 2 Bells” on Spotify to breathe to)

  • CV17 - Sea of Tranquillity (centre of sternum, where your thumb lands when hands are together in prayer)

  • Yin Tang (the forehead centre in between eye brows)

  • K1 - Bubbling Spring (Underneath the ball of the big and second toe just where the arch of the foot begins)

  • Spend at least 3 minutes pressing into each point as you breathe slowly. Pay attention, notice how each point makes you feel

It can also really help to journal about your fears to get them out of your head, voice them to some you trust and have a bit of a dance/ shake around to release build up of energy.

Fear is here to serve us. To keep us safe, also to help us learn and grow. There’s a difference between life threatening fear which helps us to do what is the safest option to protect ourselves and then there is going out of our comfort zone to grow.

So rather than fear fear, we could turn to face it, thank it, give it space to be and breathe. From here trust that clear thinking will guide you through to what is best for you. Things always have a way of working out for the best in the long run.

The chakra system as a tool for self reflection & awareness

In Yoga, we are offered many tools for getting to know ourselves better and practices to help make changes to aspects of our behaviours, habits and patterns that are no longer serving us. After receiving and practising Reiki for over 10 years I have found the Chakra system to be one of these systems.

As with the Chinese Five Element system, the Chakras give a map to explore the different aspects of our lives and how we are doing in them, physically, mentally and emotionally.

It begins with the basics, Muladhara Chakra, our most important needs for survival and security. Am I getting my basic needs met? Do I feel stable, secure and connected in this very moment? Do I have the strength and power to move through life?

Once the basic needs are met there is an exploration of what do I like, and what do I hate? What am I drawn towards and what repulses me? Desire is born from Svadistana Chakra. Sexually energy rises. Creativity blossoms. Am I doing what feels good to me or am I always putting everyone else’s needs before my own? Is this energy flowing through my life or is there a feeling of being stuck?

If your digestion is constantly troubled these Eastern systems help is to look more holistically at why this is, rather than taking some peppermint oil as recommended by doctors for IBS. The Stomach and Spleen meridians and the Manipura Chakra both govern digestion and the emotions associated with them are worry versus contentment and hope. It makes sense that if we are churnings things around in our head our energy is up there rather than down in the body helping to process the food. The Manipura chakra is links to our sense of personal power, feeling confident in who we are in the world, not in a forceful way but quietly.

From there the journey continues through the Heart, Throat, Third Eye and finally the Crown. Taking time to learn and explore the concepts of the Chakras can provide a framework for journaling, meditation and what movement practice to do to help stimulate which energy centre you wish to work on. Even if you are not sure whether you believe in the Chakras or not it’s a helpful system for reflection and inspired change.

The aim is to find balance and to be able to move past anything that no longer serves us. The first step to do this is to be aware of it.

I am excited to be running a new Chakra course in the New Year in two different formats to choose between. The first will be purely online, a series of 7 Tuesday evenings (11st January to 22nd February) dedicated to exploring each of the 7 main Chakras, then two optional workshops on a Saturday (5th March), This course can be done by anyone who has an interest in this and there will also be a version for Yoga teachers to be able to do it as a 35 hour CPD course.

The second option is 4 days in person from 31st March at Revitalise in Brighton if you’d like to take it as a non residential retreat.

We are opening bookings for these soon, please email me to register your interest; [email protected]

Something I had not considered when I started teaching Yoga

I started teaching Yoga when I was 36, I had just returned from 6 months in India spending at least 4 hours a day practising Yoga and eating less than I was used to back home. I felt great about myself physically, emotionally and mentally. I had a history of running training courses so being in front of people was not so much of a concern, aside from the usual nerves of teaching something new.

Over the years I have had injuries, changes in my life, I’ve naturally aged and gained some pandemic (or perhaps perimenopause) weight!! Through the past 18 months I have started to get eczema in the colder times, on my face and hands. I am now teaching more online and have started pre recording some courses/ classes. Whilst I enjoy doing this, there is also a part of me that hates looking at myself on the screen so much!! I am sure most people feel this way.

It’s made me think….when I became a teacher I was one way and of course I have changed over the years. When you are front of people they also get to witness the change in you. This is something I had never considered, that I might have to be prepared to stand in front of people even when I am not feeling to great about myself, be it physically or emotionally.

Yoga teachers are just human too, it’s not like we float around all the time feeling svelte and at peace with everything in the world. I know it’s a cliché but Yoga is a constant practice, we learn tools to self regulate, to balance, to support, to listen, and then we have to remember to use them!

Each time I catch myself beating myself up for how I look, I have a word with myself and remember that Yoga isn’t about the outside, it’s what is going on inside that counts. That’s not to say the inside is always perfect either, as I said it’s an on going practice.

Yet still, as a business owner I have to continue to promote myself and keep my photos etc up to date. Sometimes before pressing “post” I look at myself and cringe. But then I remember the importance of keeping it real. We will all change, we will all age, weight will fluctuate and what is important is the message. The teachings that we have to share. The holding space for others to explore, to rest, to be and to be free from all of this self doubt and criticism (even if just for a little bit).

I am writing this to acknowledge that us teachers are simply human too, we still have doubts and insecurities ourselves. Practicing Yoga can make it a bit more bearable and provides tools to quieten the voices, to connect to the place within where none of this matters at all. Where everything is beautiful just as it is.

Somethings that I have learned is to be aware of who I follow on social media, to encourage more accounts of people showing their real selves, curves and all. To appreciate my body for all it does for me, it’s energy, strength, intuition and resilience. Also, to not care so much, to turn up as I am and to be real, in hope that this inspires others to do the same.

No I am not a lithe 20 something yoga teacher in a crop top, I have a cake belly and double chin but over the years I think I have gained a bit of wisdom that I can share. :-)

My First Yin Yoga Experience

Before moving to Brighton 10 years ago I had been living a very fast paced, “yang” lifestyle in London. I had been working hard setting up Create Yourself, whilst doing another part time job, I was running 1/2 marathons, practicing Hot Yoga, plus enjoying a fun social life.

I took a year out. I spent time in India and I passed my first Yoga teacher training, in Ashtanga and Hatha Flow.

After at least 2 hours of dynamic practice a day I was starting to feel injuries in my body, one being rotator cuff shoulder pain.

In Brighton I started to have 1-1 Yoga mentoring and the first thing that happened was that I was told I needed balance, to slow down. I was given the most simple gentle practice and a recipe for mung bean soup for a detox.

This went against everything I was used to and drawn to. Striving and achieving were my default. I am naturally impatient and do everything quickly.

I heard about a class on a Thursday (I think) afternoon called “Yin Yoga”, which was supposedly very slow so I thought I would give it a go. I think it might have been the only Yin class in Brighton at the time.

I remember finding it challenging, which suited my “achieving mind”, but in a different way…..in staying still and softening. Not actually trying to reach any goal but just be. It felt like the teacher was quite strict, Yin can be taught in different ways or more likely it was my impatience that was showing up, but I loved the teachings of mindfulness through out.

I floated down the road afterwards past Palmeria Square feeling a kind of presence and calm that I had not experienced before.

Shortly after I did my first Vipassana 10 day meditation course, and a light bulb flicked on as I linked the two practices together. Staying still for a while and noticing what ever arises. The practice of equanimity and allowing.

Balance seems to be my ongoing lesson. I dived so enthusiastically in to Yin that there was a while when that was all I did. I soon learned Yang is also needed. Too much Yin all the time can actually make me loose my energy, and my hips can feel a bit “over stretched”. The mindfulness of Yin can help me to notice that and know when to mix it up! Some cardio (dancing being my favourite!) and strength training is needed too, but in Yin I have definitely found “my Yoga”.

Nourishing the Earth Element in Late Summer

The Summer is slowly drawing to a end. The last few warm days are gradually getting cooler and darker earlier each evening. There can be an element of grief this time of year, the not wanting the Summer to be over. I know I can feel this, yet since living seasonally I can also find the joy in the acknowledging different energies of each season, embracing the flow of change.

In Chinese medicine we are in “Late Summer”, schools are back, and even if you don’t have children there’s a shift in energy to refocus again after all the fun of the Summer. The Fire element, (Summer) is the most Yang (active) time of the year, and the most externally focused; festivals, parties, holidays, camping trips, sea swims, long hikes, catch ups with friends/ family.

When we spend so much time “out there”, giving out energy, being more active, it can help around this time to come back home to yourself, which is the Earth Element. To feel steady and stable again, to slow down enough to be able to centre ourselves, think clearly and to create a routine again.

In fact the Earth Element can relate to any transition in life, whether it’s through the last 18 days of any season or any big change in life at all. Earth relates to the “Mother” energy, with the idea that as we grow up we start to separate from our mother and need to learn how to nurture and nourish ourselves. It’s about caring and having sympathy for ourselves and others. However if we care too much about others we can end up either being needy/ worrying to much or putting their needs above our own.

As with everything in Taoism (Yin and Yang) and Chinese Medicine it’s about balance.

Following are a few ways to connect with Earth and nourish yourself this time of year:

  • Barefoot walking/ time in nature.

  • Create simple daily routines.

  • Cook and eat slowly, just focus on the food. Make a ritual of it.

  • In Harvest time if can be lovely to acknowledge the Harvest of your life so far this year. To journal about what you have achieved, who has helped you and what /who you are grateful for. How could you share this abundance?

  • Root vegetable soups.

  • Embodied practices like Yoga/ Qi Gong/ Dance, taking the focus/ energy away from your head and into your body.

  • Warm drinks, the Spleen which relates to the earth element does not like icy cold drinks.

  • Cut down on sugars and caffeine

  • Have acupuncture

Your centre is a place that is naturally joyful, and at peace. It is accepting, non judgemental and it channels the voice of your heart. It knows perfect timing. It knows the rhythm of the universe, the rhythm of all creation, and it delights in that connection to that rhythm.

If you must leave your centre to learn a lesson, feel a feeling, or experience something new, do that. But come back to your centre when you’re done. And go to your centre first before you go anywhere else. Melody Beattie “Journey to the Heart”

Red Flags for Cults and Abusive Teachers

Red flags. Those signs that perhaps this isn’t the best person to be in relationship with, whether it is a friendship, romantic or professional. We get them, we feel them but do we always listen to them?

I know over the years I haven't, but I am learning.

In Yoga, as in everywhere in life, there are some teachers who allow their egos to take over, to allow narcissistic tendencies to rule. Over the past few years there have been many “me too” moments in the Yoga world and many fallen “Guru’s”. Sometimes it’s not so obvious though, the abuse isn’t always sexual but emotional, and it’s very easy to get sucked in.

There are some common red flags to look out for;

  • The teacher disregards other perspectives and claims their way is the only way.

  • Being closed off to feedback or questioning. Angers easily. Openly disrespects others.

  • They make you feel like it’s your fault that their teachings/ techniques have not be successful for you, you haven’t wanted it enough or you haven’t practiced it properly.

  • Creating words and phrases that only the group will understand which helps to create a sense of community and needing to be around those that “get you”. This can also create a disconnection with those close to you who no longer understand what you are talking about.

  • A mix of being overly flattering to you but being clear that if you go against them you will be shamed or cut out of the group. One way of doing this is to publicly shame someone else, as a “warning, this could happen to you”.

  • Lack of boundaries and being erratic with changing the schedules/ plan/ vision so you never quite know what is next.

  • Not asking for consent.

  • Group sessions that are long and last late into the night, which can leave you feeling tired and hungry, in a more vulnerable state.

If you recognise any of this with a teacher you are involved in there is a great support network that Uma Dinsmore Tuli has set up called Yoni Shakti The Movement. Uma has created a more comprehensive list of 13 warning signals of patterns of abuse which you can read here.

It helps to speak to others. When you are just sitting with this on your own it is very easy to doubt yourself and feel a sense of loyalty (or maybe fear/ guilt) towards the teacher/ group you are part of. Getting other perspectives really helps to start to get clear in your own mind what is best for you to do next.

There are times in life when it’s wonderful to learn from others and then times when your inner wisdom will start to speak up more. Respect for each others journeys is so important, as is questioning if what they share really does resonate with you, and is in fact even true. We are all on our own path and what might be right for some, might not be for you.

One blessing of Yoga is that it is ultimately a self practice. We can be inspired and learn from others, and we can play with that and explore what our own truth is.

If you would to do some further reading on cults/ abusive behaviour I recommend the following books:

Practice And All Is Coming by Matthew Remski

Cultish by Amanda Montell

I also really recommend having a mentor, someone who has been teaching longer than you who you can share with, bounce ideas off and seek guidance.

One year later.....

We have been getting the garden ready for Spring. As we were sat out in the sun yesterday, it was a reminder of this time last year in the first lockdown when most of our time was spent out there. And here we are again, yet now just about to emerge like butterflies out of our cocoons into the world again, for a third time. Hopefully this soon to be new “freedom” will last.

A year of tragic deaths, bumbling leadership, polarised opinions shouted out via social media and communities coming together.

A year of fear, gratitude, survival and new lessons learned.

A year of uprising, protests and voices being heard.

A year of Disco & Yin, Dream Yoga and many walks.

There has been much darkness but also some light. I believe the dark times bring about transformation, growth and lessons. My teacher Norman Blair has been encouraging people to share their pluses in his classes so inspired by him here are a few of mine;

Walks on the South Downs; I started the year going to watch the sunrise each morning which has provided me with an image in my mind any time I want to connect with peace. This has progressed to exploring the South Downs with my husband, looking for different routes, harder up hill climbs to get the heart pumping and big trees to hug.

A sense of community and connection, feeling in it together. When the first lockdown began we put notes through each others doors offering help when needed, we waved at each other when doing the Thursday evening clap, my step daughter and I did dance offs in our gardens with the boys next door. Rainbows in windows. Local Facebook groups set up to offer help and mindfulness when crossing in the street/ stores.

Being able to teach to a wider audience and not having to commute. I have surprisingly enjoyed teaching via Zoom, (apart from when the internet crashes!), it’s meant that people who are not local can join and I have actually felt like I have been able to offer a little bit of support through this time. It’s been an opportunity for connection and has given me a sense of purpose.

No FOMO, I was awful for not wanting to miss out on things, it was a big distraction for me. This year with everything taken away at least has taken away the constant, “how can I afford “, “how can I fit that into my schedule”, the juggling of time and money to do it all! There is a lesson here.

A slow journey to minimising social media. Not only does social media light the match of FOMO, this year has made me realise even more how damaging it is. I have found myself on it more than ever partly because it felt like a way of connection during this time. However with everyone posting all their different opinions on there, perhaps not fully considering the mental health of a lot of people out there right now I can only see it as a way to exacerbate hatred, violence, anxiety, and comparison. In a way it feels like a clever trap to keep us hooked in. I know this is a blog about pluses but I see this as one, an enquiry into how can I be on it less, use it kindly when I do, still keep up to date with what’s going on and still be able to share my business. Without harming anyone. Mindful social media! I took a couple of weeks off recently and I was unbelievably productive.

Time. Without all the travelling to places to teach I have still taught just as much and have taken a lot of courses, but I have still felt like I have plenty of time. I don’t think said “I am busy” to anyone in a year and that feels good. I am cutting that out of my vocabulary from now on.

An opportunity to learn and space to try new things. My colleague Louisa Rassmusen and I have ran a successful trial and workshop on Help for Asthma, we are now offering 1-1s and have a weekly breath for breathlessness session starting in May. My classes now are based on the healing power of coherent breathing (6:6) and are flavoured with neuroscience inspired practices to really help bring the body/ brain/ mind into harmony. I have trained in protocols that have been helping people with Long Covid, something that is going to going to be useful in this new world. My teaching has evolved. Exciting times.

As we about to emerge out of this 3rd lockdown my priority is to be as helpful as I can to those I teach during this time, times have changed and so has what I have to offer now. It’s also about seeing my friends, family, and having fun. Life is short. This pandemic has highlighted the importance of social connections and even though Zoom has been a welcome development this year I just can’t wait to be with the people I love again. I don’t think I will take meeting up for a cuppa and cake, or going dancing for granted ever again.

Some Yoga Myths

There are a few potential misconceptions that are widely spread in the Yoga world, that might actually not be very helpful. What follows is my effort to explain them to you. 

It’s either or.

It’s Yin or Yang. It’s Parasympathetic or Sympathetic. It’s Flight or Flight. Good or bad.

This way of thinking might lead to encourage dualistic thinking when actually there could be a bigger picture.

In ancient Greek and early Eastern logic they teach of 4 possibilities, a tetralemma; either or both neither. As we know from the Yin Yang symbol there is Yang within Yin and Yin within Yang. Our nervous system is always in a mix of both (and sometimes neither), for example we need the phrenic nerve (the diaphragm nerve) which is sympathetic to activate the vagus nerve which is parasympathetic. One needs the other and visa versa. In the view of the Tetralemma we might look at the peripheral nervous system (and indeed how neurons and many many body systems actually work) is...

Either parasympathetic

Or sympathetic

Both parasympathetic and sympathetic

Neither parasympathetic nor sympathetic which contains though is by no means limited to Enteric Nervous System , powered in large part by Nitric Oxide.

In the traditional style of Yoga Nidra practice there is a stage of opposites which only encourages duality; good or bad, this or that. How ever when we look at things through the lens of the Tetralemma it opens up possibilities for new perspectives and complete no-thingness at all.

Speaking of Fight or Flight or Rest and Digest.

These are 100 year old rhymes that have stuck because the brain likes rhymes but are actually inaccurate and cause problems in the court of law.

As Yoga teachers it is common to say “we’re all stuck in fight or flight” and then put an emphasis on long exhales to get into “Rest and Digest”. Firstly, you’re only in sympathetic over drive if your resting heart beat is over 100BPM which is very rare and if it was you need to see a doctor not a yoga teacher! In unexpected fearful situations, we do not either flight or flight, we flight, fight, freeze or do NOTHING at all. That has certainly been my experiences when I have been in frightening situations, because I have had no reference point to go back too I have been in complete disbelief and have even asked the attackers quite calmly “what are you doing?”. Many people report the same. In a court of law rapists have got off because the victim was penalised for not “fight or flighting”, why didn’t they fight back? This phrase needs to be stopped to support others.

In regard to rest and digest, did you know that our digestion is actually started by the sympathetic nervous system? Yes it’s helpful for our digestion to be in a relaxed state to be efficient but this is just an example that both S.N.S and P.N.S are both involved, just like there is yin in the yang and yang in the yin.

At a recent trauma convention they spoke of flight/flight/hard freeze/soft freeze/fold/fawn/fib/please and appease/tend and befriend/rest and digest and several more. Which shows it simply doesn't simplify in the way they thought it did originally, theories are always evolving. Also to be aware that how we respond is cultural, not hard wired, as in Bali when there is trauma they snooze! 

As I mentioned above often in Yoga classes long exhales are taught to encourage the P.N.S. with perhaps the assumption that everyone is overly active (in S.N.S) to start with. Whilst long exhales can be very soothing if you can’t sleep or feel anxious (for example), it’s important to know if teaching in groups who is in the room. For example long exhales for people with chronic fatigue, depression and now a days Long Covid, will only help to keep them stuck and perhaps make it worse.

Sometimes people actually need activating and that’s where you might practice “Breath of Joy” for example to lift energy. Again though with the activating breaths we need to make sure we know who is in the room. Kapalabahti for example can cause inflammation so not good for Long Covid or conditions such Asthma.

What will help most things considerably is balance. This is why the coherent, universal breath of 6:6 is so powerful and a safe option for teaching in group classes, especially right now in this pandemic time.

Stress is “bad”

We need stress to get things done, to have energy, to move forward. We need stress to build strength and resilience in the body, whether we work body the body actively or in our imagination. Studies have shown imaginary movement can be just as effective:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/241603526_Mind_Over_Matter_Mental_Training_Increases_Physical_Strength

We need stresses on the immune system for it to be strong and healthy. Hence why vaccines are given and it’s good to let children play in the dirt.

“Stressful” times in life often produce new lessons, perspectives, growth and change.

Cortisol, the “stress hormone” is perceived as bad but we need it to get up in the morning and with low levels of it we are susceptible to arthritis.

 

Tension/ Tightness is in the body

As Yoga teacher we all say it. I know I have. In fact, it comes from the cerebellum (the body’s movement centre) in the brain. Muscle “tightness” is an opinion of the brain, it is a way that our brain is trying to keep us safe and within the boundaries it already knows. The perceived tightness stops us from moving further than we have done before, to avoid an injury. I have experienced this personally after having a back injury 20 years ago, whilst the injury is not there any more the brain is very active in helping me not repeat that injury again so it sends me signals via the body to be careful with my back by tightness and twinges. After a year of 6:6 breathing every day and not having any of my usual monthly massages (that I can now see only feed attention to the “perceived problem” ) the symptoms in my back seems to have vanished!

So what are we actually doing when stretching in Yoga? It may be more helpful to soothe and balance the brain/ nervous system, to focus on what we would like rather than draw attention to the perceived problem (by overly stretching an area to “make it better”) which will only make it bigger. What you focus on you amplify.  Neuroscientist Bud Craig discovered that all pain, all feeling, happens in the right front insular – your feeling centre.  We can soothe this with the 6:6 breath either just as a practice on it’s own or whilst teaching/ practicing Yoga poses.

This is one of the reasons why Yin can be such a healing practice because we are not looking to actively “stretch” but gently “stress” the tissues by not going beyond our edge, just softening just where the nervous system is asking our body to stop and then breathing slowly and practicing mindfulness to calm the brain/ mind. The brain/ body lets go when it is ready to rather then when we are telling it to.

Imagination is powerful, top athletes and sports people do it to improve their skills. We can harness this too by taking time to imagine what we would like to get better at before we actually do it.

 

It’s all about the Vagus nerve

Polyvagal Theory is very popular in Yoga right now. The thing to remember is that it is a theory and not complete. In the theory Stephen Porges explains that we don’t just fight or flight we also freeze, which is from the parasympathetic nerve – the Vagus. As I have already mentioned above, many also do nothing at all, as neuroscientist Lisa Feldman-Barrett says “ your actions today become your brains predictions for tomorrow, and those predictions automatically drive your future actions”. So if you are in a situation you have never been before, it’s very normal to do nothing or know what to do as there are no predictions from the brain.

What is also important to focus on is the phrenic nerve, the sympathetic nerve that activates the diaphragm (and the vagus nerve)  as it has a much faster response on how we feel compared to the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve takes 20 minutes to let the brain know that we are full after eating or our thirst is satiated after having a drink. Nothing freaks the brain out more than a lack of oxygen so it is constantly closely monitoring our breathing patterns. A change in breath very quickly alerts the brain and changes how we feel, much faster than the vagus nerve.

 

To conclude science and research is always evolving. I think it can be helpful to recognise that nothing is absolute and be open to learning different perspectives and new developments. I hope this has been of interest in some way and helps to bring another level of enquiry to your teaching/ practice.

 

 

Some thoughts about Yoga today

I first experienced Yoga probably about twenty years ago now. There was a Hatha class in my gym in London and I would do it to relax after a week of step and body pump classes. In my circles Yoga was never really talked about much back then, I don’t actually remember any Yoga studios (but then I never looked for any) and none of my friends were doing it.

I remember going to see Madonna on tour and my seat was positioned so I could see just backstage, she was doing a headstand before coming on to perform. I can’t remember the exact dates but Madonna and Geri Halliwell promoted yoga for miraculous weight loss and having lean sculpted bodies. This seemed to cause a rise in popularity and awareness.

A Bikram studio opened up in Balham, this new hot Yoga was the talk of the town and apparently the way to shed the pounds. I was a runner at the time and super stiff, so I signed up for a 10 day trial and was hooked. I was used to gym classes and intense workouts so it just felt like another challenge. There was one teacher there who was different to all the others, Raj Sharma, who would bring a light heartedness and spiritual aspect to it. I loved how completely present I felt after each class, nothing else mattered. That was something new to me, and I liked it.

Over the years these are the teachers I have been drawn to; the ones that are friendly, down to earth, kind and bring the whole path of Yoga to the practice they teach, Each class an opportunity for self enquiry and discovery.

In 2012 I went off to India and took my first 200 hour teacher training. After 6 months of travel and study out there I returned to move to Brighton. Over these 9 years of being a teacher I have seen the growth of the Yoga “industry”, the rise of the “Instagram celebrity” , the increase of a price of yoga leggings (!), and the downfall of many “Guru’s”.

I feel like Yoga is in a bit of a state of crisis right now. Well not Yoga itself, Yoga is a way of living, a beautiful practice to live a compassionate, healthy and authentic life. Yoga as an industry, it’s got caught up with the white skinny girl on a beach in a bikini stereotype, that ends up putting many people off especially the Indian culture from which it actually originated from and many others that could be benefitting from it to. Now there is much discussion about the cultural appropriation of Yoga, the cherry picking of traditions and blending them with what suits us, the lack of honouring the roots of this practice we love so much.

As a teacher I feel so concerned to be making sure the Yoga I teach is inclusive of all races, genders, body types, sexuality….there is a fear of getting it wrong and offending with out realising. As a straight white woman myself I am sure I am naturally going to put some people coming off to my classes, that’s ok we are not going to appeal to everyone, but I would never ever want to offend or upset anyone. I have always wanted to welcome anyone who comes to my class with open arms. Soon after becoming a teacher I trained in being able to run a trauma informed class to make sure people felt safe in the space I teach in. All of this is the kind of thing we have to be really aware of in Yoga, I don’t think was considered so much before and so this is a important progression for all of us teachers.

The first time I went to Sivanada ashram, Kerala, in 2011 it was a challenging but beautiful experience. We had to hand in our phones into reception and could not get them until we left. There was no contact with the outside world, my first digital detox experience. There were people there earnestly practicing and learning traditional yoga and the way of the yogic life.

I last went there in 2018, it was very different. For a start we were allowed to keep our phones with us and there was Wi-Fi in one of the meditation/ practice halls. Not that it ever worked but it was constantly full of people wandering around desperately trying to get a connection. This beautiful hall that once had such amazing energy from all the practice that happened into it felt tainted by this obsession with Wi-Fi.

There was a 200 hour teacher training happening, it was packed with Europeans and Indians. On the first night everyone had to stand up and tell people why they were doing the training, quite a few Indian women stood up explaining they hadn’t actually done Yoga before but had heard it was a way of loosing weight or that their husbands had sent them on it as becoming a Yoga teacher was a way to make money. Through the evening meditations peoples phones were buzzing with texts even though they were not allowed in that hall. I noticed a poster in the reception area from the India Government saying how becoming a Yoga teacher was a good job prospective.

An Indian man later told me that it was thanks to us Westerners getting into Yoga so much that had changed the mindset of Indians, they now saw it as a way to make money. I don’t think this really was the original intention of Yoga that was passed down through the traditions in India for 100s of years. This shows a sign of the impact of capitalism of Yoga from the West.

Of course if you choose to be a Yoga teacher though you still need to pay the bills, but are many people actually earning good money from this “industry” ? Yes there are people who are doing very well. There are “super star Yoga teachers” that travel the world running retreats and trainings. I do wonder how this will change now with the climate crisis and COVID. Perhaps it will continue on line but will there be so much demand for Yoga teacher trainings now that people are gradually starting to realise, actually making an earning to actually live on decently is hard! Most people have second jobs.

To conclude I think this “crisis” or “shake up” of Yoga can only be a good thing to make people stop and think about the roots and purpose of Yoga. The bad behaviour of many Guru’s/ top teachers has made people realise, myself included, how it’s important to question everything and not just believe blindly all we are told. People can make out they are experts and highly evolved spiritually, and maybe they are but we are all still human. We make mistakes.

With everything I always come back to, what feels right in my heart. Our body often gives us signs when something is off, like a tension or a inner sense to move away. This is where our own regular practice can help tune into that, and the wisdom we have within. We can check in with Yama’s of Patanjali, am I being kind, compassionate and honest with myself and others? Am I content with what I have and not grasping or feeling jealous for what others do, do I trust that I will receive all that I need? Am I taking care of my own energy and those around me? The Niyamas encourage regular practice, letting go of habits that do not serve and continual self study and reflection. Sometimes this means facing up to where we haven’t behaved so well , when we haven’t even realised we have hurt others by our actions and this is where listening to and learning from others comes in. The willingness to accept where we have done wrong and do what we can to make ammends.

This feels like a lengthy piece with many parts, I would never have thought Yoga would be so complicated when I first stepped in to a class all those years ago. If you see Yoga as a way of living, with ourselves and each other, it takes in all aspects of life, the good, the bad and the ugly. And I think this is what has been coming to light over the past couple of years, we are all waking up to where it has gone wrong and how now we have an opportunity to fix this.

Goodbye 2020, thank you for the lessons you gave x

I have to pinch myself to realise it’s Christmas this week, and I have still been at home teaching on Zoom. Who would have thought when we started this year what would happen next….

As I began 2020 with the climate crisis in mind I said to myself I would fly less this year and do more things locally, I had a calling to be at home more after running lots of retreats. I wanted to teach more in Worthing and build community after moving there the year before. I had inner calling to not focus so much on teaching in yoga studios but to really make it accessible and help a wider audience, to really feel like I was making a difference.

In ways I could not have imagined this has all happened!

The enforced lockdown has helped me to feel at home in Worthing and to feel like I have a community here. I have heard other people mention about how people seem to be acknowledging each other more, talking a little more freely to strangers, I have found this to be true too. There’s been this feeling of “we are all in it together” and with connection being somewhat taken away from us we have sought out ways to create it where we can.

Connection, collaboration and faith in humanity I feel is what is needed now more than ever.

With all of this going on a new centre opened in the summer in Worthing called The Tribe Hub. It’s not like a usual “yoga studio”, it is more of a community hub with a cafe, shop with local crafts and classes from yoga, mum and baby tea and cake morning, over 60s dance and HITT classes, It’s down to earth, welcoming, all ages attend and it’s just a lovely place to go to have some time to connect with others.

Who would have thought when we went into lockdown in March that life would be able to continue so much on Zoom!!! Whilst we complain about the sound and the “your internet connection is unstable”, what would we have done with out it?! I have caught up more regularly with old school friends, have received valuable support from my teachers, Norman Blair and Ben Wolff, in London, I have ran my Yin courses this way and have shared 3 classes a week for the people at the Sussex MS centre where I teach. These are people who have more or less been indoors all year shielding, whose lives usually revolve around the routine of going to a centre to see each other, have a laugh and get support. I feel really blessed to have been able to offer them this support and connection through this time.

Whilst studios have been on and off closed, and numbers have been lower than usual, I have been reminded that really you don’t need that much to live on. It’s easy to spend more than what you actually need and then feel the need to earn more to cover that. In some ways I have more content this year living way more simply and locally. I realise I am extremely privileged though, the fact I have a house to live in and money to cover costs is a blessing.

Travel is in my bones though, it is one of the things that brings me joy and freedom. I am very fortunate to have done a lot of it, I have had many amazing experiences. This year I have discovered the joy of memory and imagination, which actually are not that much different. I have spent time going back to places in my memories and creating new magical adventures in my head. Did you know the body responds to imagining, just as if you were doing it? This is why athletes and Grand Prix drivers rehearse these competitions in their heads as part of their training.

I have learned that drawing these imaginary adventures and what I would like to create in my life is also powerful. The left side of your brain describes and the right side depicts, generally we don’t use the right side enough. And it’s fun! I regularly draw now what I would like in my life and I am realising it is already starting to come true.

Around what I want, I have learned (thanks to the teacher Ben Wolff) that actually there are 4 things that will certainly help with many things:

  1. Peace of Mind

  2. Connecting to Joy

  3. Being strong in who I am

  4. Having triumph over mind made fears

All pretty important don’t you think?

All this time at home more has given me more time to learn. This year I have taken further courses in meditation, breathwork, Yoga Nidra and Yoga for seniors and back care. I feel I have more tools in my kit now to support those who come to see me. In 2021 I am going to be specialising in offering help for those with asthma, as this something I have experienced through my life and I have learnt some practices that can help ease breathlessness.

The Black Lives Matter movement highlighted to me this year the great divide and racism that still exists in our culture today. I think after living in London for 13 years where I was surrounded by all cultures, worked with people of colour and never witnessed it, I just didn’t think it existed anymore. How blind I was. I now understand that it’s not as obvious, it can be very subtle and insidious , and as a person with white privilege what it now needed is to be an anti-racist. Actively standing up for people of colour, supporting them, their businesses, their voices, listening to their stories and what they need. I am still learning about this but it’s something I am committed to.

To summarise this year has taught me that anything really is possible, you just never know what is around the corner. I am resilient, I am creative, I am flexible and all these years of practicing Yoga and exploring personal development have given me tools to navigate crazy crazy circumstances and support others too. The real Yoga is off the mat.

Don’t get me wrong…..there have been times when I have felt extremely low, bored, anxious, scared, overwhelmed and trapped. I am only human. This has been a tough year. I can’t wait to hug my parents and friends again. I can’t wait to dance again in the sunshine with others. I can’t wait to go to festivals and to teach my Yin training in Goa again. One thing I am sure of though, I will never take any of that for granted and I will prioritise seeing those I love. Connection really is all that matters.

Acupressure To Breathe More Freely

There is nothing more alarming to our brain than feeling like we can’t breathe. I have experienced this first hand through years of childhood asthma. Many things can cause breathlessness whether it’s conditions like asthma, allergies, COPD, viruses or stress and anxiety. This time of year with the cold and damp can also be a cause.

With this in mind I’d like to share with you some Chinese acupressure points I have learned that have soothed me and helped me breathe more easily. Please note I am not an acupuncturist and this is in no way an alternative to medication if you need it, it’s just hopefully a helpful addition to what you already have in place.

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Lung 1

Just under end of the collar bone, in the soft indent before the shoulder begins.

As you press into Lung 1 and breathe slowly, watch your breath. Notice if it starts to free up a little? The lungs are about letting go. As you exhale, breathe out anything that is no longer serving you. Spend at least 3 minutes here.

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Lung 9

Just on the wrist crease under the thumb, on both arms.

Spend about 3 minutes on both sides, still breathing slowly and noticing any shifts you feel in your breath. This point is called “Very Great Abyss”, aside from supporting the lungs it’s a point to reach into the depths of your soul. To soothe, calm and stabilise. In John Kirkwood’s book ”The Way of the Five Elements” he says “Whether you simply want to breathe more deeply or if you want to feel more at ease in your body-soul, Very Great Abyss will help bring you back to yourself.”

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CV 17

The centre of the sternum in the shallow hollow. If you bring your hands in prayer, where your thumbs meet your chest is where you will find it.

This point is the same location at the heart chakra. It is a point to connect with the energy of your heart, the resting place of your true nature, your spirit. It helps to breathe more freely, release emotions and to soothe your spirit. It is also known as the Sea of Tranquillity. Spend another 3 minutes or so here.

You may like to end this practice humming out the exhale through your nose a few times. This helps to release Nitric Oxide which helps to open airwaves, take in 20% more oxygen and provides a first line of defence for our immune system as it is anti viral, anti microbial and anti bacterial. Humming also tones our vagus nerve which is the nerve of the parasympathetic nervous system, this helps us to feel calm, safe and open top being socially interactive with other.

I hope you find this practice helpful. I would love to hear any feedback.

In the New Year I will be offering 1-1 sessions to help people with breathlessness through specific breathing techniques. If you would like to find out more please let me know.

What I have learned from Chinese Medicine

In falling for the slow practice of Yin Yoga I developed a deep fascination for Traditional Chinese Medicine, or as it’s often called TCM. I started off by going to see an acupuncturist in Brighton (Dragon Acupuncture) for help for my digestion. I was expecting to come out on some kind of high as I often do when I have a Reiki session or some other kind of energy work but I felt kind of flat. What I realised later was that I felt balanced.

Over my life I have always chased the next exciting thing, the next stimulation, my mind felt scattered and I was often in a loop over over excitement or extreme tiredness. In TCM this might relate to the Fire element, which is all about Joy……that saying you can have too much joy and it can tip over into mania!! I have learnt that the heart actually wants you to be gentle with it. Finding the beauty in each moment, like watching the sun sparking on the sea helps to connect with the natural joy we all have within us already.

When I am busy and my head is spinning this is often when my digestion plays up, this relates to the Earth Element. When I feel grounded and settled, it feels easier to process not only my food but also what is going on in life. TCM has reminded me of the importance of being barefoot on the earth, eating easy to digest slow cooked food and doing practices that help to bring me back into my body.

I grew up with asthma, and whilst it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to it is still lingering there in the background. The lungs are part of the Metal element which relates to the Autumn season. They are paired with the Large Intestines, and are all about being able to flow with change and let things go. If you think about it the lungs take in oxygen and let go of carbon dioxide, the large intestines, (the colon) releases what we don’t need from our food. Conscious breathwork is of course one way to look after this element and is a daily practice of mine. Something recently I have learned from Ben Wolff and James Nestor’s Book “Breathe” is the importance of nasal breathing, all the time not just in Yoga. It helps us to breathe more deeply, to take in more oxygen and it helps to create a molecule called Nitric Oxide which is anti viral, anti bacterial and anti microbial…..so pretty helpful with Covid going around!

In TCM it is taught to look after each element for each season, so right now the focus is the Metal element, as above, with the intention that if you do this you will be best prepared for the next season. This has given me tools such as food ideas for each season, activities, acupressure points to encourage the energy and movement practices to help. As I am also a teacher it’s also provided me with a wealth of ideas for theming classes through out the year.

The beauty of living in this way is that I am mindful of each transition of season, I take time to journal, reflect and learn. I see there are benefits and opportunity for each season. I used to try to escape the Winter but now I see the benefit of the darkness, time to slow down and draw inward. Plus it makes the rising energy of Spring and the fun of the Summer all the more joyful! It helps me to see the year as a whole cycle rather than just living for the warmer days.

One of my main teachers on this journey has been Kate Henley, an acupuncturist and teacher based in Harpenden. I met her through the courses she runs with Norman Blair and I have had seasonal mentoring with her over the past couple of years. I am really excited to be part her online course coming up in November where she will be taking you on a journey through each element, one per day. I will be sharing Yoga practices to compliment this. If you would like to find out more please visit this page.

Nourish Your Fire This Summer

According to Chinese Medicine we are now in the element of Fire, Summer, Heart Chi, the most Yang time of the year. This is usually the time when our energy is highest, we want to be more social and have some joyful fun!

In Brendan Kelly’s book “The Yin and Yang of Climate Crisis” he explains “when there is too much or too little Fire within us, what is normally the joy of Summer no longer seems fun. If we have too little Fire , a party doesn’t seem worth going too and we’re not that interested in music and barbeques. It might seem like too much effort to be outside and be around others.” He goes on to say “if we have too much Fire, when our organs, thoughts and emotions are over heated the enjoyment is short lived and we quickly need to go on to the next thing and the next because the enjoyment is short lived.”

I think it can be interesting to reflect on this during this time of easing out of lockdown, when are are all in different situations, emotional and head spaces.

How are you relating to Joy right now?

Where are you finding your Joy?

Or perhaps life feels a bit joyless right now?

Maybe everything is feeling a bit overwhelming and you’re finding it hard just to enjoy the moment when you do get to see others, albeit at a distance.

One thing that stood out for me when I was learning about living seasonally with acupuncturist Kate Henley is that the Heart wants us to be gentle with it. It gets ruffled by rushing, forcing and striving.

I used to think that Joy related to complete hedonism, I used to always have plans to be over excited about and would hype myself up so much before that often I felt very flat afterwards. I can now see that this isn’t necessarily the Joy of the Heart. This Joy is natural, it bubbles up from within, it’s in this moment, and isn’t dependant so much on other. It’s that smile within when you see a puppy playing, or a cat snoring, hearing birds sing or having a morning swim in the sea.

If you are feeling a bit joyless right now, which would be understandable given what we have all been through so far this year, here is an exercise called “Taking Pleasure From the World” from Healing Your Emotions” by Angela and John Hicks:

Keep a daily journal exploring:

  • In the morning ask yourself and write about “what do I appreciate about my life at present?” and “what am I enjoying about my life at present?”

  • In the evening ask “what have I learned from today?”, “what positive things happened today?” and “what have I give out today?”

If on the other hand you are feeling overheated, over whelmed or anxious, which also is completely understandable, then you might find it helpful to connect with the Earth element. The Earth helps us with periods of transition and to feel connect and stable in our centre, so that we can think clearly and feel steady. Some ways to “ground” and connect to this energy are:

  • Walking barefoot

  • Swimming in the sea

  • Qi Gong

  • Eating root vegetables

  • Time in nature. Trees can be incredibly calming.

  • Conscious breathing, either balancing the breath (in for 5/6 out for 5/6) or lengthening the exhale (in for 3/4out for 6/8)

  • Cutting out alcohol, caffeine and sugar

Take care of your heart this summer. One lovely way to nourish it is through singing and music, so crank up your favourite tunes, sing at the top of your voice and have dance like no one is watching.

If you are interested in finding out about how to live life in according to the Elements/ Seasons in Chinese Medicine, I am thrilled to be running a 5 day course this November. It will be online so you can make it into an at home retreat. To find out more please visit this page.